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Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 8:44:08 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Was surfing around this morning and came across a few articles concerning this.  The common theme, since they were written by psychologists, or I assume so given the PhD after their names, was that this is another form of self destructive behavior on the same level as cutting.

Speaking as a cutter, I do know that it requires a greater and greater amount of blood flowing to reach the level of escape I want when I do it.

I'm pretty sure that there are some around here that engage in this type of play.  Was just wondering if it works the same way for EA as it does for cutting.  I've talked with a LOT of cutters over the years, and the escalation aspect has been agreed on nearly every single time.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?
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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 8:56:34 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		Are you talking about erotic asphyxiation with more than one person or autoerotic asphyxiation practiced alone?

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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 8:58:54 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I enjoy erotic asphixiation because I am so vocal, it mutes that a bit and it relaxes me. Most of the time, I end up beign the one to put the pillow over my face or my head gets pushed into the matress or pillow, which just increases my arousal. I'm not a cutter, so I don't know of any corolation.

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 9:26:58 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		As someone who loves wrapping my hands around a woman's throat or covering her mouth and even her nose, I think it is as much mental as it is physical.  With the people I have played with, more isn't necessarily needed to get the same reaction.

For a long discussion on safety of this, Jay's book SM101 covers it in exhausting detail.

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 9:58:16 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		CrappyDom's suggestion of a book that describes the safety aspect of this is a good one.  You need to be aware of the safety issues with this before you try it.


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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 10:11:59 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Don't personally enjoy this kind of play, but that might have something to do with being thrown through various household structures by an abusive step father for a number of years.  Tried it, but it brings up just too much of a primal response in me for it to be safe for someone else.

And Proprietrix, either would work for the discussion, since hte end result is basically the same, just different dangers for each.

Like I said, was just kind of curious.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to sharainks)
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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 10:36:01 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Dustyn,

I mentioned the mental aspect, sometimes the mere suggestion of something can be hot while the reality of it isn't.  You clearly have issues with this sort of play and I am not recomending you do it, this is simply a discussion.

When is a hand on your neck?  Imagine someones hand (you trust) near your neck while someone is whispering things in your ear.  Depending on where you want to go, those whispers could be about love/trust/caring as the hand moved closer to your neck but never quite touching it.  Another tack would be to whisper things about choking, moving you in a different direction.

Or imagine the thinest of threads draped over your neck, again, to thin to be a "real" threat, but more than enough to surf the emotion.

Anyway, just a bit of food for thought.

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 10:42:55 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Dustyn,

I mentioned the mental aspect, sometimes the mere suggestion of something can be hot while the reality of it isn't.  You clearly have issues with this sort of play and I am not recomending you do it, this is simply a discussion.

When is a hand on your neck?  Imagine someones hand (you trust) near your neck while someone is whispering things in your ear.  Depending on where you want to go, those whispers could be about love/trust/caring as the hand moved closer to your neck but never quite touching it.  Another tack would be to whisper things about choking, moving you in a different direction.

Or imagine the thinest of threads draped over your neck, again, to thin to be a "real" threat, but more than enough to surf the emotion.

Anyway, just a bit of food for thought.



See, this is why I am asking for other people's input, because the only reaction I have is blind, seething rage slowly building inside of me.  I honestly want to know how other people view it, how it makes them feel.  Main thing that is driving the curiosity is I do enjoy a bit of self destruction, and this is just another form of it, at least in theory.

I know, without a doubt, that it is just not for me.  If you remember the movie 'Mask', when the kid was trying to explain colors to the blind girl is a lot like what I am looking with some of the questions I ask.  I've never seen colors, so to speak, but I want to know what they are like.

*shrug* Curiosity generally kills the cat, and I am definately a Leo, through and through. *chuckling*

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to CrappyDom)
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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 2:23:24 PM   
slaveofdarkhold


Posts: 124
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was once a cutter, and I am turned on by (mild and limited) breath control. I would say there was a huge difference.
Cutting was to me (and I realise people use it for a variety of reasons) equal parts survival and self-destruction. On one level I hated myself and wanted to suffer. On another thepain and the endorphines helped me cope with my emotions and stopped me trying to kill myself. It's more complicated of course and I;m sure you understand that.
Breathplay is something totally different for me. It's about fear and vulnerability. It's about someone else having control over the most basic need in life- air. It's erotic (hence 'erotic' asphyxiation). It's trusting somebody else. It isn't self destructive because we always play as safely as possible (obviously there's always risk with something like this) and because I'm not doing it todamage myself. It's self-destructive in the way snowboarding is- you could get hurt, but you do it because you like it.
There's a huge difference there for me. One was a painful but somewhat needed form of self destruction with no sexual undertones. The other is a sex game.
That being said, I don't know much about autoerotic asphyxiation- when people do it to themselves as they masturbate. I don't believe, although I'm open to correction, that there are many places that claim to have information on why people do this, as generally people don't  admit to it and we don't find out until it goes wrong and they die. It could just be a sexual kink, but there may well be some underlying need to hurt themselves and destroy themselves too.This could be the kink. I don't know enough to judge on this count.

(in reply to Dustyn)
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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 4:04:39 PM   
Kindred2Evil


Posts: 227
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline 		I've never been a cutter, but have been a breath player for awhile.  I can understand your point about it being primal for you, my ex-husband used to choke me until I passed out.  But my hubby now has turned it from a nightmare into a turn on.  It took alot of trust, some serious therapy for me to get to the point I could stand even having him touch my throat.  He has never actually cut off my air, it's more a putting pressure on the arteries on both sides of the throat, giving one the feeling of being unable to breath.  At any time you can suck in air, without restriction, it just feeels like you can't. 
To me it's the fear factor, I'm very into being scared.  But at the basest level I know without even a shadow of a doubt if I tap his hands he'll let me go.  That level of trust has taken a lot of work to attain.  It's erotic to me, like being tied up is for others.  I'm not sure how to describe it exactly...He just has to touch my throat at any time in any place and I have a visceral response that just makes me go limp all over.  He did it once with me standing and had to catch me, my knees gave out.  To me it is the same as your favorite thing being done to you.  Add him talking to me in a soft cruel voice about how he could so easily knock me out with it and I just fall into pieces, but in a good way.
I don't think I'm self-destructive, I've been down that road before with drugs and this is nothing like that.  It's the adrenaline I'm hooked on, and breath play provides it's own special kind of high that nothing else will for me.  It's not something I like all the time, just once in awhile because it is so intense for me.  Hubby is the ONLY one I'd let do this, for reasons above and not trusting anyone else to play it my way. 
Hope that helps?

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Her touch is on the breeze that brushes your cheek, Her voice rides the thunder as the storm breaks, Her tears will clean your heartache when the rains come, Her sun will light the darkest times when you feel alone...She is the Goddess.

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 5:31:47 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you, slave and kindred.  Those are responses that I was really hoping to get.  Those are contexts that I can actually grasp and reasonings as well.  I just can't help but think back to the medical texts I used to read years ago.  Lack of blood supply, while inducing a euphoric high, also causes brain cells to start dying at an accelerated, and ever increasing, pace.  THen again, I'm a cutter and have cut into actual muscle more than once trying to reach my 'escape', so to speak,.  I think that might be where the self-destruction aspect comes in, the death of the brain cells, but I could be wrong.

Not saying there is anything wrong with it, though, so don't get me wrong.  Just one of those things that make ya think a little after several hours of being brain numbed at work.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Kindred2Evil)
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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/21/2006 5:39:29 PM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

Was surfing around this morning and came across a few articles concerning this.  The common theme, since they were written by psychologists, or I assume so given the PhD after their names, was that this is another form of self destructive behavior on the same level as cutting.



What a coincidence!  I just saw a repeat episode of Law and Order that dealt with the same subject.  According to the plot, the victim was asphixiated by a member or members of a vampire club that they all belonged to.  There was some sort of box that they used, sorta like a decompression chamber, but there was never a detailed explanation about it.  I just saw the post and had to comment, because the show just aired here on the west coast not more than an hour ago.  Aparently, thoughts have wings!

iliv2servHer


< Message edited by iliv2servher -- 5/21/2006 5:41:45 PM >

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Dating sucks!

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/22/2006 11:42:01 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		*chuckling softly*

Never seen that episode of L&O, actually.  Have to see if I can figure out which episode it is and borrow that disc from a friend of mine that collects the entire series.  Personally, I prefer SVU for some screwed in teh head reason. *smirk*

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to iliv2servher)
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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 2:31:14 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		For me, I’ve a hard limit about being asphyxiated…or having my breath or blood cut off to the point of passing out.  I have high-blood pressure; something like that just can’t be good.  Still…I have a similar response to a hand on my throat that Kindred does…I immediately calm, relax, and nearly go straight to subspace.  It is, to me, like rolling over and exposing the most tender part of me; the way an animal might do when showing submission.  And of course, it is so very submissive a gesture, which for me is also erotic.

Neat topic...thank you! 

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 2:53:57 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		I think it just may be like many other things in life.

For example: alcohol. Most people can enjoy a beer or glass of wine in the evening. Many can have fun and party all weekend, but be responsible citizens all the rest. Coupla folks end up falling down, ragged, off a park bench, hollow pity, face down in a mud puddle. Clawing hand cradling that ever precious bottle in a brown paper sack...

<giving myself chills> ewww.
smile

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 3:01:00 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Dustyn:
 
I'm not sure if this will be of any help or not, but will give you my two cents worth.  I personally do not care for idea of asphyxiation (sp?).  To me that leaves the realm of sanity and crosses over the line of too high risk.  Any number of things could go wrong even with the most experienced of  breath players.  I will say that the mere *suggestion* of it can be very erotic and a lot less risky.  Having your throat layed out for someone to do with as they please is, for me, a high form of surrender, even if you know they aren't going to do anything extreme.  It's the headtrip of it that can be very exciting, all while the submissive feels safe enough to enjoy it and the dominant can enjoy the tease of it.  My first dominant one day did something to me, that has stayed with me forever. I had no clue it was coming.  We were sitting up in bed and he decided to firmly but gently grasp the front of my throat in his hand.  Much to my surprise I did not feel frightened (and Im usually quite the panicky type).  He whispered to me..."Your life is right here", while he applied the *slightest* amount pressure.  My reaction was to tilt my head back even further, offering my entire throat up to him.  He held me like that for a moment or so, never taking it far enough to hurt my throat or cut off any air. Just the fact that he took me like that, and I surrendered to it was enough for both of us.  It was one of the sexiest, most intense moments of my life.  The point Im trying to make is that you can have the feeling or suggestion of it without having the risk present of actually cutting off someone's oxygen.  In the right atmosphere, with the right words spoken, with the right look on your face, you can perhaps put the submissive's head in the same place without risking the ugly stuff.  A little thoughtful creativity and setting the right tone can go a very long way.  And everyone gets to keep breathing!

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 3:04:57 PM   
slaveofdarkhold


Posts: 124
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		That was beautifully put marieToo, I can understand the feeling you're describing exactly

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 3:15:50 PM   
OneX2


Posts: 157
Joined: 1/3/2006
Status: offline 		That was perfectly put. There are times I enjoy breath play with my slave, and some times it goes no further than what you have described. The time and the rythme of us detrimines so much of where it will go.

Joseph

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 5:52:00 PM   
petwolf22


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		Cutting for me (i've only ever actually done it once, and now sometimes get to the point where i scratch myself or overly antagonize the cat, but thankfully have not reached that point again yet) is about focusing a body full of emotion on one particular spot.  When i feel emotional pain, i tend to feel it all over my body and that draws it into one focused, discernable, visible location--where it's easier to then deal with.  i don't do it often, but i do still feel the desire to.  There's no eroticism to it for me.

Asphyxiation...i like the loss of total control, it makes me orgasm more easily sometimes to.  And i'm the same way with my partner, as soon as i tap his arm he lets up.

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RE: Erotic Asphixiation - 5/25/2006 5:59:51 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		That was well put marieToo.  I find partial air flow restriction highly erotic,  be it hands...around my throat....leather....mm.... However i'm very phobic about total air flow restriction.

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