Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It?

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Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 12:15:23 PM

gorgeoushair

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Believe it or not, there are those who are not sexually monogomous, have multiple sex partners, and do not practice safe sex.

For example, i cannot believe that, in this day and age, that any man would not wear a latex condom when any kind of penetration is involved (not that this is absolutely foolproof, but the best we have so far). Yet, i hear of men (still) not wanting to wear a condom, and indirectly blaming their partner for insisting on it, by complaining of the lack of sensation. i thought that kind of thinking and complaining went out after the advent of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980's. Look, we know there is less sensation. Sorry. We did not invent STD's or AIDS. We do not want to contract those diseases. Thank you for wearing a condom.

Comments?

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 1:25:13 PM

littlewonder

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Anyone who insists on not wearing a condom is an idiot.

My experience with men not wanting to wear condoms always seemed to be with men in their 50's and older who would always message me and make it a point to let me know that. I don't know about in real life since I never dated men a lot older than me. Men younger than that always insisted on condoms because they grew up in the day and age of AIDS I think.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 3:10:18 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

Believe it or not, there are those who are not sexually monogomous, have multiple sex partners, and do not practice safe sex.

Really? This has really happened? Yeah, no kidding. I am of the belief that the world isn't going to explode if two people fuck without a layer of latex between them. There are folks in this world who...I know it's hard to believe here....are NOT disease-ridden, infested sick people. I've been fucking people I know well and many I didn't know so well for over 20 years now and I don't have AIDS, HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea or any other nasty disease. I am not, as littlewonder opines, an "idiot." I am a fun-loving, free thinking risk taker who has had alot more sex than many folks have. Clean and staying that way after 20 years. Woo hoo! I love livin' on the edge

luci

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 5:35:02 PM

Kaliko

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I hate condoms and don't want my partner to use them. Therefore, I abstain from anything that could transmit disease until the time is right for sex without a condom. (And yes, as a matter of fact, that is a long time. Why do you think I spend so much time on these damn boards? LOL) Lucky for me and my fetishes, sex for me has little to do with actual sex.

I actually don't think that if I had sex with someone without a condom that the world will end. I know that, chances are, all will be fine. But I know myself well enough to know that I will worry myself into a heart attack about me falling into that small percentage, and how I will be so hopelessly lost and angry with myself to allow a few moments of pleasure to take precedence over my overall health and quality of life. I get worked up over things...so I know that my quality of life even while I was just worrying about whether I have anything to worry about would be affected. So, I agree, Luci - chances are probably pretty small. But, it's just really not a chance I'm willing to take. For others, it might be an acceptable risk.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 5:41:28 PM

HisPet21

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Don't be silly! Wrap your willy!

Don't be a dick! Cover your prick!

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 6:55:12 PM

RaspberryLemon

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I have never been involved in anything polygamous and never intend to be. So perhaps this is not as relevant but...

Since when did "safe sex" equal "always wear a condom"? Both me and my partner are clean (been tested) and yes, in the beginning of our relationship we used condoms, as I was not on birth control; now that I am on the pill, we don't use them anymore. I don't see anything wrong with that. Both of us are clean and disease-free, there is a solid form of birth control in place, so honestly I don't see the point in the hassle of using condoms (especially considering that there IS a sensation difference for both of us.)

I think this applies in all circumstances, even in a polygamous arrangement. As long as all of the people involved have been tested and confirmed to be disease-free, and there is a sufficient birth control situation in place (unless there is the intention of pregnancy, of course,) I don't think that not using condoms is a bad thing. Condoms are not the only way to practice "safe sex."

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 7:23:26 PM

Buzzzz

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I have seen it plenty of times.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 7:26:49 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

I have never been involved in anything polygamous and never intend to be. So perhaps this is not as relevant but...

Since when did "safe sex" equal "always wear a condom"? Both me and my partner are clean (been tested) and yes, in the beginning of our relationship we used condoms, as I was not on birth control; now that I am on the pill, we don't use them anymore. I don't see anything wrong with that. Both of us are clean and disease-free, there is a solid form of birth control in place, so honestly I don't see the point in the hassle of using condoms (especially considering that there IS a sensation difference for both of us.)

I think this applies in all circumstances, even in a polygamous arrangement. As long as all of the people involved have been tested and confirmed to be disease-free, and there is a sufficient birth control situation in place (unless there is the intention of pregnancy, of course,) I don't think that not using condoms is a bad thing. Condoms are not the only way to practice "safe sex."

I think most people would agree. I believe it to be implied that we were talking about a situation in which many would usually consider a condom to be necessary, such as the beginning of a relationship or when not sleeping exclusively with one (or more) person(s).

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 7:34:18 PM

Endivius

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I only wrap it up it up when I'm doing the ONS thing. During a relationship I would have us both be tested, and I regularly get the shot, and also insist they use the pill. If she had some kind of STD It would probably be a deal breaker for me. Not looking to get mushroom lips or cauliflower dick.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 8:44:05 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

Believe it or not, there are those who are not sexually monogomous, have multiple sex partners, and do not practice safe sex.

For example, i cannot believe that, in this day and age, that any man would not wear a latex condom when any kind of penetration is involved (not that this is absolutely foolproof, but the best we have so far). Yet, i hear of men (still) not wanting to wear a condom, and indirectly blaming their partner for insisting on it, by complaining of the lack of sensation. i thought that kind of thinking and complaining went out after the advent of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980's. Look, we know there is less sensation. Sorry. We did not invent STD's or AIDS. We do not want to contract those diseases. Thank you for wearing a condom. Comments?

It takes two to protect, it takes two to contract a disease.

If a man wants to have sex without a condom, and the woman agrees to it, then bingo...you have TWO.

If a woman wants a man to wear a condom but he does not want to and she gives in...bingo, you have TWO.

If a man wants to wear a condom but the woman does not want him to...I can place a bet that he ....yes HE...will walk away and never look back.

If a woman wants him to wear a condom, but he does not want to...nine times out of ten, she will give in and have unprotected sex.

What does that tell you?

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:14:55 PM

LanceHughes

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To answer the OP directly - yes. In the gay life-style, it's called "bare-backing." Gay men with AIDS often look for positive partners so that they can have un-protected sex. "Safer sex" is a phrase often heard.

What is described by RaspberryLemon is called "fluid-bonding."

I had a lover that was sure he was positive since before he met me, he was quite the promiscuous man in L.A. He would not be tested, but we ALWAYS had "safe sex," not just safer. Then he got some opportunistic infections, and went to be tested. T-cells at 9 ! ! ! ! He was dead within the year. I remain negative after all these years. (we were together 7 years, he died what? 12 or so years ago....)

Then there's the young'uns - well aware of AIDS - actually scared (and scarred) by info in school. They just blow it off, as we do when we hear of the Black Plague. "Hey, man. That's ancient history."

For awhile there, there were "bug catchers" // Lance shudders // These were (I don't think it's happening nowadays) men whose lovers (in general) who had become infected. That is, a pair of lovers where one was infected previously and had converted after falling in love. As a sign of commitment <or some such> they purposefully had bare-back sex so that the negative one could "catch the bug." // Lance shudders again //

A sub-set of "bug catchers" --- no partner, but trying to get AIDS so that the catcher could take advantage of financial and other benifits for positive people. // Lance shudders for the third time //

I could go on, but it's late (11:15 pm local) and I am all out of // shudders //.

------
edited to add missing word.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/4/2011 10:17:00 PM >

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:20:32 PM

LanceHughes

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And that's just AIDS.

Other STDs are on the rise in the gay community, especially syphillus. "Hey, that's curable. Just go down to the STD Clinic and you can get penicilin for free. You can even be anonymous." Helpful, no?

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:35:33 PM

tj444

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Imo, its a lot of married but cheating lying guys that want bareback sex, they are used to unprotected sex so many cant stay hard in a condom... That is not to say there arent singles that want bareback, but they are not as hesitant to wear condoms as a married guy is.. jmo.

I am not planning on having bare sex unless i am living with a guy and we are both faithful to each other.. (& yes, we would have to trust each other).. That is one big reason to be in a living together happily ever after relationship in the first place, to me anyway..

But,.. this question makes me wonder about lesbians, do they ever use protection? Are they much less likely to catch diseases than hetros or gay males? hmmm...

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:39:19 PM

Tantriqu

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On the hetero-male side, no one sluttier than a man with a vasectomy who thinks he doesn't need condoms anymore!

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:41:19 PM

LanceHughes

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::: sigh :::

There are what's called "dental dams" basically a sheet of vinyl / latex. Again - NO fluid exchange.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:42:32 PM

Epytropos

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I don't with a long-term partner that I trust absolutely and have gotten tested with, but with anyone else I'm safety first. I don't like condoms any more than the next guy, but ideally I'd like to not die of AIDS.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/4/2011 10:46:45 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

::: sigh :::

There are what's called "dental dams" basically a sheet of vinyl / latex. Again - NO fluid exchange.

yes, i know about dental dams, i just wondered if lesbians actually use them or not. I dont think many hetros use them when going down on a woman... or use condoms when giving a bj.. They seem to percieve less risk for oral..

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/5/2011 12:55:30 AM

foxling

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I tried using dental dams once and the whole experience was so ludicrous and not-sexy that I/we gave up. (I admit, I was in a committed relationship and we were just trying them to see if they did work, for a laugh because we'd been given some.) I got latex all over my face, couldn't breathe, and she hated the way it felt. Heh.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/5/2011 1:55:54 AM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

yes, i know about dental dams, i just wondered if lesbians actually use them or not.

we don't.

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RE: Safe Sex -- Does Anyone NOT Practice It? - 9/5/2011 3:10:05 AM

gorgeoushair

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@RaspberryLemon

Thanks for your response. I am not referring to polyamorous situations where the multiple relationships are established and everyone is D & D free, tested. I think you know what i mean. Men who are having sex with multiple partners, and not using any protection, (and directly or indirectly complaining about the lack of sensation as a way of trying to talk the other partner out of it). Remember, anyone who has unprotected sex with a partner is not having sex with only one partner, but with all the partners that partner has ever had. Yes, it is a matter of taking risk, because G-d knows, the risk is for real and it is out there. Some do. (Sure, they are lucky, for now. G-d bless them.) I don't.

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