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How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:03:29 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		Can a sub be a submissive to more then one person as long as they are not owned and collared by any of them?
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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:12:10 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		A man cannot have two masters. That said, if it's just a matter of playing on a short term basis I don't see why not.

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:18:59 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		you can be owned, collared, play with, do whatever you want to do with as many as you want to as long as you are all in agreement and you are all fine with the way things are.



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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:20:52 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

Can a sub be a submissive to more then one person

You may need to clarify in what context you are asking this question.
A person who is submissive can and often does submit to a wide variety of
people in their lives, even when they are collared to someone else.

Another way of looking at this is, someone who has not given authority over
to anyone else can do whatever they please.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:21:02 AM   
AneNoz


Posts: 263
Joined: 4/26/2011
Status: offline
quote:

you can be owned, collared, play with, do whatever you want to do with as many as you want to as long as you are all in agreement and you are all fine with the way things are.
This is as it is.

Be at peace
Aneka

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:35:21 AM   
thedavezone


Posts: 113
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: South Korea
Status: offline 		Yep.

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:38:47 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I"m gonna amend my first statement...you can even do it when you are all NOT in agreement...but then you get to accept the consequences of such an action lol. I wouldn't want to be around when that happens lol.



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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:39:13 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		This question came up fairly recently.  Here is my post from then: 
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

i've been thinking on this...
i think the idea that a sub/slave woman could choose her own 'stable' of Doms is unrealistic...
unless you regard it as realistic that a woman might date many cyber Doms at the same time... or accept cheating as an alternative

i think for the sub/slave woman to have multiple real life partners it is more likely that her Dom would:
1. let another Dom use her in order to learn the 'ropes' himself
2. share her with his friends... and maybe/hopefully let her have a say in which friends she prefers
3. takes her to clubs to be used by others, maybe even on her request
4. allows her to have a lover on the side who will be lower in status than her Dom and easily dumped when no longer desired




I don't think it's unrealistic, nor do I think it has to be cheating.


Hey, baby, I'm happy to go out with you and have a little fun and such, but you gotta know that there are other folks in my life.

Cool. But what do you mean "in your life"?

Well, there's the Dom that likes to mess around with my whole orgasm stuff - denial / control, etc. I dig that, so that's where our relationship is. I have another fellow who really is interested in doing more day to day control stuff with me, and he isn't really into the sexual. I run my food and schedule stuff by him, making changes based on his wishes. And then there's the guy I just play with - that's just topping and bottoming, but we like it. A couple of times a year, I meet a guy where we do crazy wild humiliation scenes for a full weekend and then go back to our lives, but during those 3 days, he TOTALLY controls everything. Right now, I'm looking for someone who is into tapping into my daddy / little girl kind of stuff. It's why I was interested in meeting you.

Oh, ok. So you are saying you have all these guys - do they know about each other?

Yep. Of course they do. I don't lie about that. I just keep some things seperate. They all know about each other and they know it makes me happy. And let's face it, they are happy, I'm happy. It's all above board and fabu.

She is totally in charge of her life but has agreements to parcel out certain aspects to different doms - based on the pleasure of the men and her own pleasures.

Seems reasonable to me.


ETA: I've seen this kind of thing in real life a couple of times. People on CM tend to be more ... sharp with their relationships and not have the level of fluidity that I have witnessed in real life. The people I know tend to be complex and recognize the complexity of relationships and don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water.




http://www.collarchat.com/m_3644270/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#3700556



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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:43:21 AM   
quasarr


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline 		I think so, as long as everyone involved knows of each other and is completely fine with it.

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:46:35 AM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		As long as they don't lie about it or hide it... it ALWAYS seems to be the lie/cover-up that pisses people off most.

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when passion's a prison you can't break free"

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:50:10 AM   
quasarr


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

As long as they don't lie about it or hide it... it ALWAYS seems to be the lie/cover-up that pisses people off most.


Honesty is indeed the best policy.

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 3:21:42 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

Can a sub be a submissive to more then one person as long as they are not owned and collared by any of them?



In Vanilla terms, you're asking if someone can date/fuck more than one person.

Answer:  It depends on the relationship -- i.e., if there's a commitment or not.



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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 4:05:34 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		Depends on the relationship. For some, it happens, and it's perfectly fine when all of the people involved know about it/are ok with it.

For me? Another Master/man in charge of me? Hell no, not a chance.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 4:19:26 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

Can a sub be a submissive to more then one person as long as they are not owned and collared by any of them?


Sure, why not?  Before I was collared I would do play time with a variety of dominants.  It gave me time to figure out what I was seeking.  I might play with several at an event.  However, I would say that I bottomed to tops rather than submitted to a dominant during that time. 

For me submitting requires trust.  I only felt safe playing with these dominants due to being at an event with dungeon monitors.  It was really more about sensation play and trying out new things.  It had little to do with real submission. 

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 6:48:56 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		yes they can.. and they can be collared to whoever... its just very tricky and hard to do successfully...

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But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/6/2011 10:45:35 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		subs can do whatever they want, particularly if they have made no commitment to anyone. In the same way as a person who is dating casually can screw anyone they want.

Of course good manners dictates safer sex and hopefully a degree of honesty with the partners. But if the relationship is not 'serious', then it's up to everyone to play safe.



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RE: How many can you have? - 9/7/2011 3:19:42 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline
Some can submit to several at once, I am talking in a play context here.

Some can submit to a few at once, I'm talking in a D/s context now.

The problem I see most often in the D/s context is that, being honest, at some point one of the d types orders are going to be different than the others. I think this works best if there is a chain of command. Even then if you are not a truely coheshive ploy group, somebodies feeling are going to get hurt.

Speaking for myself only, nope, nada, not possible. I am a one man woman kinda girl, period.



< Message edited by 0ldhen -- 9/7/2011 3:20:17 AM >

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RE: How many can you have? - 9/7/2011 9:56:10 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I suppose some can as long as everyone knows the score.

In my relationship  it is a non issue. I can only submit to one, and that of course  is my Master.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 18
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