How does one go about finding a Dominant? (Full Version)

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PurpleKeys -> How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 12:30:43 AM)

I that seems like a dumb question but I am trying to find someone and I keep coming across guys that are only looking to beat women, take advatage of them, and abuse them.  Where does one go to find a real dom male?  Also, I simply cannot call a 21 a master, that is a joke.



Awareness -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 1:02:50 AM)

Emigrate to New Zealand.

Seriously though, I know a local sub who has this very problem.  The place is overrun with dysfunctional pseudo-Doms who either want to beat a woman, humiliate her or turn her into a domestic servant who plays mommy to them.

The best advice I can give you is to screen.  Screen for strength, screen for a spine, screen for a calm, centered personality with ethics and integrity.  You're probably going to do fairly well if you ignore kink sites and just look for responsible dominant man in the normal online or offline world.



M4S73R -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 1:32:44 AM)

Forums. Look at how people talk on a regular basis. That will give some (and i say that loosely) insight. And on the flip side of that, i have run into a lot of women that come across as pesdo slaves. They only talk about sex as a means to find people. If a women sends me a message outlining to me what she wants to do im immediately turned off. I want a brain first. Was taught to start at the top and work my way down. Brain, eyes, lips, neck, shoulders, tits, stomach ass pussy legs feet.

People are people, no matter where you go. Not sure immigrating is the answer



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 1:48:06 AM)

quote:

Not sure immigrating is the answer
He considers himself pretty much the only truly dominant man on the site.



M4S73R -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 1:49:51 AM)

I guess my question for anyone that "claims" to be a Dom is, How long were you a sub?




Awareness -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 1:50:07 AM)

  Yet more evidence that Canadians are the humourless fuckers on the continent.



Endivius -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 2:03:25 AM)

It's a process. The problem you are faced with, is that you want a dominant man, and about 99% of the men here that claim to be dominant, are just desperate horny loners who have no clue what it means to live this lifestyle. You just have to be patient and keep screening. There are plenty of people who have met through CM, but don't let this be your only fishing line. Spread out to other sites, get out into your local community and meet people. Participating in chat when you can, keep perusing the forums, and just remember quality over quantity. I will say that being TG does narrow your search area, but that does not mean that it cannot be done.



DeviantlyD -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 2:33:23 AM)

You go to "Dominants R Us"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sorry. I couldn't resist. I know it's not original, but...sometimes one just has to indulge themselves. :D

Seriously though, I wouldn't look online. If you want to find a dominant, try checking out your local munch(es).

When I'm perving profiles, I find far too many "daddy doms" (not my thing, but your profile says it's yours)...maybe they all migrated to Hawai`i. ;)



DarkSteven -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 4:07:19 AM)

What DeviantlyD said - go forth and meet real people at real events. San Antonio's gotta have a vibrant kink community.

Also, since you're bi - have you considered being the third in a poly relationship.  There are LOTS of MF couples looking for a third.



OsideGirl -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 6:59:57 AM)

Be specific about what and who you're looking for. Not just D/s but who he is as a person. Don't settle for less and be patient.



littlewonder -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 8:30:59 AM)

once again for the millionth time, the same way you meet anyone in real life that you want to date or fuck.
Bdsm is absolutely no different whatsoever.




SimplyMichael -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 10:11:36 AM)

If you keep meeting and or dating idiots, perhaps you need to look at yourself and the choices you make that create that problem.

Plenty of women meet one pretty decent guy after another, others only tend to meet idiots. Its the choices each make that create the difference. Its like women who only meet men in bars and then complain they only meet players.



kalikshama -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 10:44:04 AM)

Do screen, use common, sense, trust your gut, to to munches, network.

Last year I met some great play partners on the personals side of this site but my Dom found me on OKCupid :)

Lots of the tests and questions on OKC are kink related, so that's one way to screen or send signals. These lines in my OKC profile helped my D find me and helped cut down on the mail from 20 somethings:

If you are dominant and know what SSC and RACK mean, drop me a line.

18-35 year olds looking for kink will have more luck here: http://www.boston-tng.org/



Hillwilliam -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 11:29:26 AM)

Google San antonio Munch group. Get thee to a munch and meet real people.



Madame4a -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 5:35:40 PM)

Start meeting some folks in person, watch them with others... get references from folks, face to face...

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#Texas

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/tx_sa.cfm

Evil Monk's listings in general seem more up to date...



Buzzzz -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/8/2011 7:20:36 PM)

quote:

Be specific about what and who you're looking for. Not just D/s but who he is as a person. Don't settle for less and be patient.

Ditto



Mr4sg -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/9/2011 4:36:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PurpleKeys

I that seems like a dumb question but I am trying to find someone and I keep coming across guys that are only looking to beat women, take advatage of them, and abuse them.  Where does one go to find a real dom male? 


Sheer luck.
You can increase your chances but you can't enforce results.

Hanging out with explicit bdsm people might help. Then again, it might not. If you want a Dom that is more into private play and not into group gatherings, your chances of finding what you are looking for at a group meet are basically zero.

You can increase chances by exposing what exactly you are looking for and what you offer in return. Frankly, profiles where a girl offers "submission" as her only contribution to a potential connect, I don't even bother contacting.

*edit to fix typo*



crazyml -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/9/2011 5:07:28 AM)

Ello,

Not much to add really except to say that getting out and about to munches/events etc is definitely a good idea.

I've looked at your profile and I think it's not bad at all - Perhaps a little more detail about the everyday "you"?

The real thing is time and patience. Since you're super cute you'll get lots of attention, so the screening will be more of a chore, but don't give up.



MRRoy2 -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/9/2011 7:04:57 AM)

Having looked at your profile I agree you will have your work cut out for you. There will be lots of people claim to be dominant when in fact they are not. Look around ,dont be in a hurry and go to your local munches and such. Get involved .Or you could come to Florida to visit. :)



deOwner -> RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? (9/9/2011 2:52:40 PM)

Meet people (anywhere) and talk to them. You'll quickly get enough vibes to know whether they are dominant, submissive, etc. Then if their vibes touch you the right way, get to know their background. If they've experience as a Dom, you'll quickly discover it.

It is less important that they are a Dom, then they be dominant and touch your needs. There are many that claim to be Dom, there are even a few of those that are capable of being what they claim. But the real goal is not to meet a Dom, but to meet the One who will claim your soul.



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