Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (Full Version)

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subbiejenn -> Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/17/2004 6:00:23 PM)

Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques
Men and women will go to great lengths to give themselves sexual satisfaction. Sometimes the results are not what was hoped for. One book mentions the case of a man who tried to masturbate by putting his penis into the sucking end of a vacuum-cleaner. The result was that all the skin was sucked off the penis. This method of masturbation "is not therefore recommended."



smile2cu -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/17/2004 7:11:42 PM)

I once knew a girl with a very similar technique. [:D]

Ah, memories....

~smile~



srahfox -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/18/2004 3:17:47 PM)

well, in florida we seem to get a lot of that in hot tubs. I guess they think those vents are a bonus



proudsub -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/18/2004 5:00:10 PM)

quote:

well, in florida we seem to get a lot of that in hot tubs. I guess they think those vents are a bonus


I would drown trying to use the vents in ours, but the jets work great.[;)]



NoCalOwner -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/18/2004 8:22:52 PM)

Here is a Darwin Award nominee from 2000 that might qualify.
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A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before arriving, except that someone had reported that his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch, naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch over, they discovered what caused his death. Apparently the man had a habit of putting his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.
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srahfox -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/21/2004 2:48:27 PM)

There's anouther in the Darwin book about a guy who tried useing the suitcase belt at the airport for the same thing. Well, those things have metal teeth holding the pieces together and he managed to get his balls snagged. the silly man didn't go to the doctor until they had swollen to grapefruit size. Of course it didn't help that he tried to repair them himself with staples.



LadySonelle -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/27/2004 5:34:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: srahfox

There's anouther in the Darwin book about a guy who tried useing the suitcase belt at the airport for the same thing. Well, those things have metal teeth holding the pieces together and he managed to get his balls snagged. the silly man didn't go to the doctor until they had swollen to grapefruit size. Of course it didn't help that he tried to repair them himself with staples.


If you ever want to read the entire medical report on the guy (with followup!) Google the term "Scrotum Self Repair" and you will find the full documentation. It was not, however, a suitcase belt, it was a mechanical belt from his workplace and he masturbated by rubbing his erect penis against it. *shudder*

Lady Sonelle



LadySonelle -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/27/2004 5:49:05 PM)

Actually, two instances come to mind of men going to great lengths for homestyle CBT.

Both were callers of Mine (I do professional phone sex) and both were into CBT. One used to whack himself regularly with a baseball bat, wrap wires around his testicles, etc. The best (worst?) instance was when he stood on a small stool (maybe five or six inches tall) and slammed his "courting tackle" In the kitchen silverware drawer!

The other fellow, however, took the cake! We were talking one time and he commented that he had Mace spray. Concerned, I asked him if it was CN or CS teargas and he answered it was cayenne pepper spray. well, that's not Mace, but close enough. He asked Me if I wanted him to spray it on his dick. Knowing that cayenne pepper can blister if applied to raw skin, I demurred and told hi I didn't think it was safe, but what the Hell, it was *his* cock after all.....

*spritz*..... nothing. He said "I don't feel anything" and then he got a great idea... he went and got a WD-40 straw. For those who do not know what WD-40 is, it is a universal lubricant that comes in a spray can with a small straw that can be fitted to the nozzle to direct the fluid into tight spaces. Before I could stop him (as if I could, being on the telephone) he inserted the straw into the can of pepper spray and the other end into his urethra! *SPRITZZZZ!*

There was about two seconds of stunned silence (on BOTH ends of the line!) and then a bloodcurdling shriek as **CLUNKACLUNK!* the phone receiver hit the floor and the screams dwindled into the distance! I stayed on the line for a minute or ten and finally hung up when it became evident he was... er... no longer interested in continuing!

The truly hysterical thing was... the guy called a week later. "How ARE you?!" I asked, "What HAPPENED?!"

"Well, when the spray hit my urethra, it felt like a white hot knife had just stabbed me clear up into the bladder! I ran to the bathtub and tried to get water into it, but I had nothing that would work! I eventually had to go to the Emergency Room. Everything was swollen shut! They had to catheterise me and irrigate my bladder and everything!"

"Well, I'm glad you at least called to let Me know you're OK," I said, "Thank y--"

But before I could finish, he interjected "So now that I'm OK, this time I have a better straw! Let's do it again!!"

I hung up on him!

Lady Sonelle




proudsub -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/27/2004 6:16:32 PM)

quote:

But before I could finish, he interjected "So now that I'm OK, this time I have a better straw! Let's do it again!!"


OMG that is too funny!![:D]



mouseyone -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/27/2004 6:24:34 PM)

[:D] OMG yes that was funny!!!!



srahfox -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (11/1/2004 11:15:57 AM)

I knew it some kind of belt, but I left my book at my last work place and could only remember the bad parts. Thanks



Thanatosian -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (11/2/2004 8:37:41 AM)

quote:

But before I could finish, he interjected "So now that I'm OK, this time I have a better straw! Let's do it again!!"


why do Iget the feeling that this guy is a future Darwin Award candidate?



Brindle -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (11/3/2004 8:37:07 AM)

Not quite humour - but on a similar vien of stupidness - I knew a medical rep and every yr she would collect stories of gruesome happens in A&E due to Xmas excesses....

Her classic one was (and guys - DON'T read if yr sqeamish) a full dress ball at a hotel, a couple drunk on cocktails, they take their cocktails up to his room, they start to get to it but he can't maintain an errection. She has a bright idea and decideds to use one of the cocktail sticks to insert into his urethra to maintain his hard on.....

Trouble was - it was a glass cocktail stick and it shattered.

Apparently the blood vessels were so badly damaged they didn't think he'd ever be able to have an errection again.....[&:]



Thanatosian -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (11/3/2004 10:41:29 AM)

similar vein - when learning to be an EMT, had to do rotation in hospital ER - I did midnight shift, docs whiled away the hours telling stories about situations that came into the er - one told of a gay couple, decided to get 'married' and for the ring exchange, instead of putting them on the fingers would put them on their penises - ceremony went well until ring exchange - first one put the ring on his partner, and trouble struck - his partner got hard - and with a finger sized ring around the base of his penis, the blood was trapped - had to come into the ER and have the ring cut off -- guess thats one of those "sounded good at the time' ideas



TaurusMCMLVIII -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (11/4/2004 8:53:11 PM)

quote:

men going to great lengths


anyone else notice that it always seems to be the men with stupid ideas?



ed408 -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (9/11/2005 1:59:19 PM)

Not a urethral insertion but I heard of a guy who used a candle-shaped light-bulb in his rear. You can guess what happened.... the result for him was very unpleasant for quite some time. [cringe]



Lierin -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (9/11/2005 8:14:16 PM)

LOL omg..LadySonelle,I know all about the things guys do while on the phone with you(we're in the same line of work) and it's amazing what they'll come up with for self satisfaction.I had a caller once that was wearing a metal cock ring..trouble was,he put it around his cock AND balls,and left it on for about 5 hours..sheesh..when he got his call,he had been hard for hours,couldn't cum,and was desperate..well,as we talked,he sounded like he was in alot of pain..he tried everything..butter,oil,etc to get it off..even trying to bend his penis down to fit through the ring again..after about 45 mins of tugging and almost sobbing,it popped off.He thanked me repeatedly and hung up lol.



goddessDeliliah -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (9/29/2005 8:58:53 PM)

OMG I LMAO on that one



BatteredSub -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/2/2005 6:59:31 AM)

lol i used to discuss torture tech with any one who had a sadistic mind back before i realise i was a sub and thing is using a glass rod in somones cock has been used as wa from of tourture

and the guy ingecting pepper spay should be addmitted to a psyke ward at his local hospital



pp1948 -> RE: Masturbation: Most dangerous techniques (10/9/2005 7:16:33 PM)

DAMMIT! IF A MAN IS THAT HORNY AS TO TRY A VACUUM CLEANER ATTACHMENT THEN HE BETTER GO TO THE DOCTOR AND ASK FOR A PILL OR PLEAD INSANITY!!!!!![:D]



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