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BotanicalMiss -> RE: Dominant's rights (10/22/2011 9:33:01 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mkma
But. What if all that was a consequence of that the sub _betrayed_ the Master's trust by meeting another Master without telling him, and then the sub decided to leave the relationship and finally told her Master what she had been doing behind his back. Should the sub go back to her ex-Master for a session to get her punish for it, the punish that she deserves for being deceitful so that the whole thing could get a closure?
Ok, I don't post that much on the boards and I really try not to be nasty when I do, but in this case I will make an exception. Are you fucking serious???
There are all sorts of reasons subs leave Dominants, and vice versa. And yes, some are done deceitfully and once in a while there is a legitimate reason for that deceit. I know from personal experience, and this is where this post gets difficult for me because my story will be out there for public consumption...
I entered this lifestyle about 10 years ago when I was very emotionally vulnerable. I met a man online who I thought was everything I needed. Met him in person, spent days and weeks at a time with him and finally moved in as his slave. I spent 3 years with that man, who was, I believe now, really off his fuckin rocker. He was a compulsive liar, an expert manipulator, emotional sadist, and a whole lot of other shitty things. I tried to be a good slave; I tried to be everything he wanted me to be, I soaked in all the shit he threw at me until I was slicing up my arms in an attempt to release the pain. I even tried going to a shrink... twice. But I couldn't even do that properly because he insisted on sitting next to me and refused to let me have a session alone. I finally left him to move in with another Dom. Yes, I did it deceitfully. It was the only way I could do it, as he would have never willingly let me go. There were only 2 people who knew what I was doing, and they were the ones helping me escape.
Now.. I know I was a dumbass to get involved with him in the first place. I ignored every single red flag that flapped in my face and I would have been ripped apart by people on these boards if I had ever posted about what was going on at the time. Hell, even after I left him, I was branded by "friends" as the most abhorent cunt for leaving such a wonderful man. There were very few people who would even consider my side of the story because he was such a loving, kind, incredible person and he was so devestated and lost, with no idea why I would treat him so horribly. Should the deceitful slut have been punished for leaving? Many thought so.
People leave relationships for a reason. Maybe this particular girl is a hosebag; if so, the ex-Master is better off without her. Maybe the ex-Master is a psycho behind closed doors and no one else knows. Maybe they just weren't compatible but she didn't know how to get out of it without someone having her back. It may sound cowardly, but sometimes people need that in order to feel safe. Does the ex-Master have a right to punish her? FUCK NO. She left, she will deal with why, and he needs to move the fuck on. As far as how the bdsm community sees her, that's up to them. If people want to know both sides of the story, they'll ask. If they want to judge her without asking, they will. Those who care will ask, and those who don't, don't matter.
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