RE: What's your "style?"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What's your "style?"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What's your "style?"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/25/2006 6:29:55 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart
I didn't ask about submission styles, because I knew the the usual answer would be "I don't have one."

You did?

Well you were wrong.

quote:

Submission doesn't often come in styles, it comes in differing levels. There are exceptions, but they are rare, so there wouldn't be much to these responses if that was what it was about. I don't want you to not post, I just want you to stay on topic.

I am wondering where you got these ideas that submissives don't have styles, or why you think they are rare?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/25/2006 9:04:44 AM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

Submission doesn't come in styles? I suppose you never noticed how elegantly some serve.

Barking cyber orders on how you didn't ask any "submissives" to respond, is that a reflection of your style?

K

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/26/2006 10:43:04 PM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

OK, every one on here that had stated the style in which they serve basically said that they don't have any particular style. In my experience, submissives do not have a style, just varying degrees of submission. To clarify, elegance is not a style, it is a virtue found in many styles. Victorian elegance is different than Southern elegance and Japanese elegance.

And as for barking orders, I was under the impression that I was being concise and polite while explaining the question I asked. I don't bark orders, I explain myself. And it seems to me that you took that a little too harshly. Is there a problem I don't know about, or are you just living up to your UID?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to PlayfulOne)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/26/2006 10:55:50 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

So...what's your "style?"

Well the smart assed answer would be "Mine."

I'm trying not to be a smart ass today, however.

I'm not really sure how to answer the question because,... being a smart ass aside... my style really is just... mine.

I'm something of a non-conformist... but I have no problem conforming when it benefits me. If I see a good idea, I don't much care where it came from, I'll use it.

I draw on psychology quite a bit, that's something I'm comfortable with. I'm also very analytical. So I suppose you could say some of my style is "intellectual rationalist."

I tend to stick to reality based concepts and methods because to me that's the rational approach to building functional relationships.

Yet I like puppy girl play and the occasional naughty school girl fantasy... so amid all my reality I do like my diversions.

I'm a strict disciplinarian, at times harsh. Yet I can be forgiving and very compassionate.

I can be hard as stone, and yet when inspire I'm deeply romantic.

I'm a lot of things and I don't find any easy label for that. Somehow a "smart-assed, dominant, non conforming confirmist, intellectual, rational realist, imaginative, romantic dream weaver, compassionately strict disciplinarian..." seems like a bit of a mouthful.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/26/2006 11:23:55 PM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Well informed Dominant with attitude and adaptability. How does that fit with your list there, Pedriag?

< Message edited by VandalHeart -- 5/26/2006 11:24:29 PM >

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to Padriag)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/26/2006 11:45:22 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

I think that what we have here is an issue with semantics. "Style" has not been clearly defined by the OP, but what I think that he is trying to ask is. . .

Which/hat cultures, time periods, types of spirituality groups, philosophies, areas of the globe, et cetera, have influened you in the way that you dom and/or behave as a dom and/or in your dominance?

The example given was "Norse Bushido" which I take to mean that he has taken the elements that he most respects and agrees with and has attempted to incorporate them into his life and tries to use them as guiding principles in his life.

The answer "elegance" does not really answer this question, but "The elegance of an 18th century Geisha Madam (no I do not remember what those women were called)" would be closer to the spirit of answering the question.
...........................

As to the point that subs/slaves do not have this. . . well using Occam's Razor. . . a sub/slave is not a dom, and therefore does not have a dom "style."

..............................

As to the fuss about "barking orders," IMO, that was a request, and more importantly the second part of that was a request to remain on-topic.

.......................

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to windchymes)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/26/2006 11:49:08 PM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

Thank you, La Malinche, that is exactly what I meant. All of it.

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/29/2006 8:25:35 PM

Skuggi

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline

Style is individual. My style is to be the lone wolf and I not into Gor or any title stuff - i'm just me.

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/29/2006 8:55:55 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

Well informed Dominant with attitude and adaptability. How does that fit with your list there, Padriag?

Well it beats "arrogant asshole" hands down, I'll tellya that! LOL

In reading over the more recent comments I thought about what cultures have influenced me. Its still hard to say, I've taken such an ecclectic mix of ideas from where ever I found them. There's no culture or cultures I try to model myself after. For example, my own ideas about honor are taken partly from feudal chivalry, partly from bushido, and partly from Buddhism (yeah, its an odd mix), with a large measure of my own creativity and inventiveness thrown in. And while Ireland and Irish culture are dear to my heart, I can't honestly say that it has affected my views or values in the lifestyle (other than putting a variation on a claddagh on a collar). You could perhaps make a case for being somewhat influenced by the middle ages, I've studied that quite a lot and its a favorite topic. The notion of setting up my own feudal manor with a number of "peasant girls" is an occasional fantasy, but that's about as far as it goes. Perhaps a better case could be made for Nietzsche (but then that's a philosophy, not a culture), and even Nietzsche I don't wholly agree with, much as I admire his work.

I suppose some specific cultural influences might be the Japanese geisha or even more so the Greek heterae as "models" of what I aim for in a slave. But that's probably as far as it goes for drawing on historical cultures directly for ideas. I don't know of any culture that really directly reflects my concept of a Master.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/30/2006 11:05:13 AM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

hey... I happen to love My title and style of " Arrogant Asshole", Padriag....
I just use what comes naturally... and what works best for Me... I don't consider Myself having a "style", though I have been labeled Gorean quite a bit.

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to Padriag)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/31/2006 7:46:28 AM

VandalHeart

Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline

I have come to the realization that "Asshole" is just as relevant of a respectful moniker as "Bitch" has become.

Leia: "I don't like this Lando guy."
Han: "Why not?"
Leia: "I don't trust him."
Han: "Hey, I don't trust him either, but he is my friend."

See what I mean?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/31/2006 11:45:52 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Like Padriag and TC, My short answer would be "Mine", My style, just the way I am.

In fact I've had to put a deal of thought into it before I could actualy answer the question, try to look at "My way" from an outside perspective.

Relitivly gentle, laid-back and relaxed. I have nothing to prove and don't continualy have my girl 'jumping though hoops' in order to prove my control, I know she is mine. When she is feeling insecure, hurt or upset I do have a tendency to slip into something akin to a recognisable style.... Daddy Dom, holding her, gently drawing out the problem and helping her make sense of it, helping her feel safe and cared for. This can quite naturaly lead into a Mentor/teacher dynamic also when I explain a point of view or way of approaching a problem or subject.

There are times when I'm anything but gentle as well. When I want something I take it or if I expect something doing there and then there is no mistaking it even simply from the tone of voice. Over time as the trust builds, I do push my girls bounderys right to the edge on occassion. I am not generaly heavy handed, I rarely need to be, but it is there if it is needed. The proverbial velvet gloves maybe worn most of the time, but push a barrier or two and they vanish in an instant.

That all said, I am a tough and demanding Master, TPE is what it means, even if my girl has a lot of leaway she knows that if I am unhappy with the way she is doing something then I will exert that control and she WILL be doing it diffrently. Once I draw a line it does NOT get crossed!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/31/2006 6:26:47 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I have come to the realization that "Asshole" is just as relevant of a respectful moniker as "Bitch" has become.

Now wait a minute...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: What's your "style?" - 5/31/2006 6:48:03 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

My style... is stepping beyond what can be strategized or figured out. It's a discovery of the possibilities of being related independent of past, expectations, preferences, and views - within a dynamic more powerful than personality or circumstances - an occasion for creativity, vitality, intimacy, and self-expression.

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: What's your "style?" - 6/3/2006 1:40:30 AM

leomaster2

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/5/2004
Status: offline

We're equal partners in every area except sexual or intimate. In those areas, I own her and control the situation.

We don't have a specific "lifestyle," but adapt what works for a particular scene. Over time, it can become so common that we develop a "codeword." For example, I am not a Gorean master per se, but we have enjoyed scenes involving a pleasure slave so much that all I have to do know is say, "How's my little red collar today"

I like a creative, ever changing lifestyle, so we have elements from different historical periods, fictional stories, scenes or characters from movies, etc. Just about anything that works can be incorporated. Now, if you're talking about training styles, that's a different story. I train with consistency, explanation and panache.

(in reply to windchymes)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: What's your "style?" - 6/3/2006 5:14:28 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

OK, if the subs/slaves are going to post on here, you need to explain your Dominant's style, or you need to not post. I started this thread to find out about the individualization of Domination that individual Doms and Dommes have. I didn't ask about submission styles, because I knew the the usual answer would be "I don't have one." Submission doesn't often come in styles, it comes in differing levels. There are exceptions, but they are rare, so there wouldn't be much to these responses if that was what it was about. I don't want you to not post, I just want you to stay on topic.

Unfortunately, it's a public board and anyone may post what they like, whether you like it or not. Demanding otherwise is pretty futile.

What is that phrase? Something about the sharpest tack in an empty box?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to feastie)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: What's your "style?" - 6/3/2006 5:19:56 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

As to 'style', hmmm... Too many influences to really try and label in some quaint little title.

I have a marked preference to mental over physical. As I posted on another thread, you can beat someone absolutely bloody and not so much as bend them. I coax, guide, cajole. I joke, laugh and mock. I let them set the pace, generally, and sometimes it's frantic and sometimes it's a nice gentle stroll. My 'style' is contradictory if compared from person to person.

As Bruce Lee once said when asked about his 'style'.

"I strive to be water. Water is formless until it is given form. If it is poured into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. If it is poured into a cup, it becomes the cup. Just be like water."

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Dustyn)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: What's your "style?" - 6/3/2006 7:34:12 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

It would actually depend. I can be as quiet and assuming as I want to be and just slip into the shadows unnoticed; or if the mood suits me, flamboyant and outgoing as the next person.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: What's your "style?" - 6/3/2006 11:58:24 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

my style is "Asshole"

....mmmmmmmm I really hope you don't need an explanation for that!.....

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to VandalHeart)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: What's your "style?" - 6/3/2006 12:00:03 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline