RE: boundaries in a no limit household?

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RE: boundaries in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 7:57:54 AM

MistressMelissa

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The girls signiture line is Gorean. In the Gorean mindset "Masters" are not "dominants" they are "Freemen" and thus they are entitled to do whatever they want with their property. Property is property to do with as you wish. In the books they think nothing of killing a slave if it suits their needs. Yes, they are limited by the laws of this world but if this "Master" is die hard Gor none of this mattters to him. In truth I suspect he cares little about what this girl wants or desires since she has done it several times by her own admission, he probably sees no reason she should stop now.

Gor is not BDSM and many within the Gorean communities don't even want to be associated with BDSM. They will also tell you that you can not be Gorean if you practice BDSM. If this girls Master has taken the Gorean phylosiphy to heart, she has two choices. Get over it or leave. I doubt he will change his mind since this appears to be something he wants and thus he sees no reason to denie himself this little treat.

Having read the first 17 books of Gor and owning a complete set I feel I know a little of the Gorean mind set. I have also spent time with Gorean friends and have visited their forums and listen to their discussions. The Gorean mindset is owner/property as if he had bought this girl fresh off the auction block. Its about ownership not a realationship.

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 8:00:15 AM

MsIncognito

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Given your other post about permanent damage and abuse due to no limits situations and now this post today perhaps you should reconsider your suitability for a no limits situation and/or be more cautious in your choice of masters.

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RE: boundaries in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 8:21:35 AM

mistoferin

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I am by no means an expert on Gorean philosophy. I have never made it through the books as I found early into them that it just simply was not for me...not even as just a good or interesting read. I can tell you though that I have many friends who are Gorean. They are intelligent, caring people who are not attempting to re-create Gor here on earth but who have adopted some of the principles and incorporate them in their lives and live in an honest and integritous manner. There are Goreans and then there are Goreans just as there are lifestylers and then there are lifestylers. There are also abusers who wrap themselves in many different cloaks of sheep's clothing. Being Gorean does not in any way justify abuse and I would have to think that there are those Goreans who would be offended by any implication of such. I am not saying that you in any way in fact implied such by your post....please don't misunderstand.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 8:26:29 AM

MrDiscipline44

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All in all, if you agreed to a "no-limits" relationship and you can not move past this "thing" your Master wishes to do (even though you state it in no way can harm you) then you need to just beg to be released from his collar. The whole "Having a boundary in a no-limits relationship" is a game of semantics. You either get over it or you get out of the relationship. It's a really simple question of which do you want more? The boundary or the relationship?

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Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 8:32:44 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ravn

Perhaps limits isn't the best way to describe it, ut this girl is particularly afraid of one of Master's favorite things. She has tried talking to Him about it, but He won't listen and tells her she'll get over it. Is there something she can do? Or does she sit there like a good girl and take it?

I'm going to be a bit of a bitch (ok, a lot of a bitch) and ask why you'd enter the household of someone whose limits do not match your own or who is not listening to your limits?

Is there something you can do? Walk away! If you have tried talking to him you probably don't have another choice.

Unless you live in a nation where slavery is legal and you were legally acquired, you can always walk away or call for help. I mean, you are on the computer so you can communicate with others, right?

If you are really wondering about how you can change his mind, then I think this is a trap we find ourselves in routinely. We think we can change others by going along with them and making suggestions or comments or nagging over time. That's a tiring way to approach life and at some point you even say "it isn't important" and let it go or you decide it is very important and you let that person go. Sometimes the other person may change but I think it has to be because they wish to and see it as better than the way before.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 9:34:06 AM

Proprietrix

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This "activity" you speak of is so vague... It's not going to physically harm you, but you believe it is wrong. So I assuming (may be my first mistake) that you feel it is morally wrong? Is it morally wrong enough that it will cause you phychological trauma? For all I know, your Master is asking you to hump his sheep or donate your eggs to a cult, or any number of things. Really though, it doesn't so much matter *what* the actual activity is. What matters is where your head is at regarding the activity and your involvement in it.

It sounds to me like maybe you need to go back to square one: Is this the Master I want to serve? Are his morals in alignment with my own? Can I trust him fully and completely with my body, my emotions, my health, my safety, and my life? Can I serve him totally with no regard to limits?

If the answer to any of those questions is "no", then it's time to step back and reanalyze and evaluate the relationship. I'm not saying run away or leave him. But maybe look over exactly what you both want and expect, how important limits (or lack thereof) are to both parties. People change and grow, and their relationships need to be able to accomodate such. If he is a Master who simply won't take slaves with limits or feels he need not negotiate with his girls, then asking for release might be the only alternative.

If the answer to every single question above is "yes", then I agree with your Master. You agreed to a no limits relationship and you put your trust in his hands. You gave him the power and control. Your will is his. Suck it up and take it like a good little slave.

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 9:40:39 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

I'm going to be a bit of a bitch (ok, a lot of a bitch) and ask why you'd enter the household of someone whose limits do not match your own or who is not listening to your limits?

Tammy Jo,
Not a bitch, only pragmatic logic; always vilified if it doesn't suit the purpose of the person asking the question and their enablers.

Where within the "limits" is the freedom to solicit a consensus opinion of the appropriate response to a order from "master"? Where, in the definition of Master, is the requirement that he/she act upon the consensus opinion? What Master, so informed, wouldn't eliminate the problem by releasing a "slave" who undertook the soliciting action? Not for the reason of inhibiting communication with others, but because of how the need for outside opinion indicates a bigger problem with the relationship than any resulting consensus opinion?

This doesn't mean that the OP is not capable of being a slave or a "no limits" slave. It means the OP just can't be slave to this master under his personal and relationship defining "no limits".

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 11:34:42 AM

ravn

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Thank You All
the situation has been rectified

be well
ravn

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Masochism is a valuable job skill.
Chuck Palahniuk
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
~Proverb ( bring on the tyranny!)

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RE: limits in a no limit household? - 5/22/2006 1:49:59 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

I'm going to be a bit of a bitch (ok, a lot of a bitch) and ask why you'd enter the household of someone whose limits do not match your own or who is not listening to your limits?

Tammy Jo,
Not a bitch, only pragmatic logic; always vilified if it doesn't suit the purpose of the person asking the question and their enablers.

Where within the "limits" is the freedom to solicit a consensus opinion of the appropriate response to a order from "master"? Where, in the definition of Master, is the requirement that he/she act upon the consensus opinion? What Master, so informed, wouldn't eliminate the problem by releasing a "slave" who undertook the soliciting action? Not for the reason of inhibiting communication with others, but because of how the need for outside opinion indicates a bigger problem with the relationship than any resulting consensus opinion?

This doesn't mean that the OP is not capable of being a slave or a "no limits" slave. It means the OP just can't be slave to this master under his personal and relationship defining "no limits".

These are very interesting points and questions.

Fox is never on forums or websites like these -- he tells me that he doesn't need other people's opinions about our life cause he knows I'll do what I want and he'll either go with me or walk out.

He also doesn't feel the pull toward community that I do.

Having lost the local community nearest me, I turned to you all on CM.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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