Aneirin
Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006 From: Tamaris Status: offline
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T, I have a very erratic mind that cannot focus on something for long after I have understood what I was focusing on, and I also tend to go off on tangents a lot, you may have noticed. I think of something then go off on a research hunt, then ask others via forums what they think, all so I can further understand myself and I come to places like this, because intelligent conversation can be had, whereas, my living locale, not a fucking chance, and many of them possess degrees in science, engineering and other high brow subjects, they seem unable to think outside the box, outside their training. Because I go off on tangents, I am forever misplacing things around my house, and rarely get anything done one job at a time, but this was always my way when I worked, much to the chagrin of all my past employers including the military, their idea of logical was not mine, and mine , not there's, but I was excellent in all my jobs, so how much an employer would like to kick me out the door, they couldn't because I was so good at my job. But how my mind works, I am forever wondering, as it is an enigma to me, but I intend to find out, as it is my ultimate life desire to understand myself. But, I have been diagnosed with mild autism, which transpires as Asperger's syndrome, and that only diagnosed in the last two years after a lifetime of just not understanding why it was I was exemplary at things others, the majority were not, and complete pants at the most basic of communication, again viewers may have noticed. I also possess a degree of paranoia, which I see as not a bad thing, because that was what made me so good at my past employment, I considered possibilities others did not and guarded against those possibilities occurring, a good thing don't you agree in such industries as aviation, tunneling, blasting, man riding and non man riding lifting equipment, breathing safety systems and hazardous gas detection. Things I fixed rarely went wrong again as I repaired using a holistic method, treating every sub system as essential to the system, a fault somewhere affects everything in some way, so not only was the fault found and repaired via creative visualisation, the whole machine was treated similarly, I was slow but very thorough and I understand a thorough pain in the ass to every employer. Oh yeah and in answer to Rule, I have suffered depression most of my life, depression which cycles very high and very low at erratic intervals, something which I feel is now coming under control, or it's buggering off as I understand more about myself. I tend to notice the cycles I mentioned in the OP when it is I have routine, as normally my sleeping and eating patterns are also erratic, sometimes I don't eat for days and it is usual I might sleep every couple of days when it is I have an interest on. Another thing I have noticed, is my mind comes alive at night and this is where I have learned at night, late and very early mid morning around 3 to 4 am, I am at my best for anything requiring deep thought, it is at that time I am also my most creative, which tends to annoy my neighbours.
< Message edited by Aneirin -- 9/20/2011 3:09:59 AM >
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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone
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