RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ??

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RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/18/2011 11:48:05 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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hello

everyone has such good advice for the op but in many states even if the woman or male is
willing to be beaten if someone sees this person with bruise and or mark , eg, handprints !
Co works or even people will call the poilce and they will not might, be an arresst for the op
or anyone whom leaves a mark! In Ca they do not need the person permission they just arresst!!!
But also this woman has abuse in her past, I know of someone whom at one time fanstsy about being beaten, and
attack but with no sexual needs, she had major problems with abuse after seeing crimes as child! She has gotten help through therapy! I think she has feeling that she needs this beating and she needs it now for whatever reason it maybe!

Mons

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 21

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/18/2011 2:36:45 PM

MasterJinNY

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Joined: 9/18/2011
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My slave likes to get beat and she loves pain. SO much so it is scary. That includes smacking across the face, choking, being gagged and whipped. It is ABUSE imo when it is injurious and can cause serious harm.

Everyone has different turn ons, for some it is pain and the thrill of being beat and man handled. Just make SURE you have a safe word in place or a safe signal. And if you dont know her, make sure it is not a set up of sorts for a future lawsuit. Yes, odd, but there are people that will ask you to "beat" them and then say you beat them.

It is allot of fun when done correctly, just be careful.

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(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 22

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 2:53:53 AM

Endivius

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You'll know you've crossed the line when you have to buy a shovel and a tarp.

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(in reply to Dadof3inSC)

Post #: 23

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:00:16 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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*snort*

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(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 24

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:30:06 AM

MasterJinNY

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Joined: 9/18/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

You'll know you've crossed the line when you have to buy a shovel and a tarp.

That's to funny, but by the it will be a bit to late.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 25

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:38:59 AM

Aileen1968

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJinNY

My slave likes to get beat and she loves pain. SO much so it is scary. That includes smacking across the face, choking, being gagged and whipped. It is ABUSE imo when it is injurious and can cause serious harm.

I disagree with this. We do this stuff and I do it fully knowing that there is a chance I will get hurt. I've made that decision to take that risk. If he smacks my face hard and I get an injury as a result, it still isn't abuse to me. I knew that was a risk.

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RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:41:50 AM

MasterJinNY

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Joined: 9/18/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJinNY

My slave likes to get beat and she loves pain. SO much so it is scary. That includes smacking across the face, choking, being gagged and whipped. It is ABUSE imo when it is injurious and can cause serious harm.

I disagree with this. We do this stuff and I do it fully knowing that there is a chance I will get hurt. I've made that decision to take that risk. If he smacks my face hard and I get an injury as a result, it still isn't abuse to me. I knew that was a risk.

I agree with you here, I meant injurious as broken limbs, stitches and such.
ACCIDENTAL injuries happen, slapped my slave once and split her lip, that cant be prevented.

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Post #: 27

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:47:41 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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Even that stuff wouldn't be abuse in our relationship. It all falls under the realm of consent and being a rational adult and knowing the risks.
He cares about me and doesn't purposefully try to send me to the er, but shit can happen.

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Post #: 28

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:50:35 AM

MasterJinNY

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Joined: 9/18/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Even that stuff wouldn't be abuse in our relationship. It all falls under the realm of consent and being a rational adult and knowing the risks.
He cares about me and doesn't purposefully try to send me to the er, but shit can happen.

Gotcha and understood.

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Post #: 29

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 4:56:06 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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*ponders Aileen with a split lip and finds it oddly hawt*

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(in reply to MasterJinNY)

Post #: 30

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/19/2011 5:04:56 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
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Heh...me too!

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RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/21/2011 7:19:24 PM

Greta75

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I would think that's when you should make it very clear to her about the importance of using safe words, so she knows she can always stop the game if you are doing it too harsh.
I guess it's all about more communication and clarifying exactly what she is asking for.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 32

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/21/2011 10:55:52 PM

erieangel

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I'd like to know how the sub's signals made the OP assume she has a history of abuse. I have a history of abuse in that my ex husband used to beat me on a regular basis. For that reason, I don't enjoy pain.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 33

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/22/2011 5:00:55 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

I'd like to know how the sub's signals made the OP assume she has a history of abuse. I have a history of abuse in that my ex husband used to beat me on a regular basis. For that reason, I don't enjoy pain.

This is quite different. Although I was not abuse by a man, but I grew up with lots of corporal punishment in school and at home with the cane specifically. And I was always terrified of it, would cry everytime I got beat and I am useless with pain.
But when it comes to bdsm play, that pain transfers into pleasure although I am still fearful of the cane. Dunno why. But if anybody hit me when I'm not in the bdsm role play mindset, then it will hurt like hell!

(in reply to erieangel)

Post #: 34

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/22/2011 10:28:20 AM

wolf223

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Joined: 3/4/2011
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It is abuse when either of you think it is.
Don't do what you think is wrong.

(in reply to Dadof3inSC)

Post #: 35

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/27/2011 12:18:00 PM

HoustonMaster47

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Joined: 9/27/2011
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I've taken many girls right to the threashold of their endurance for pain, and not even left a visible mark the next day when they were clothed, though they may be sitting carefully and their sensitive girl parts might sting for a day or two.

As the Dom, you have to decide. If a sub is used properly, she will find herself in a state where more pain is just more pleasure, and she will be unable to refuse it, in fact she may desire it. A safe word won't help a thing if she is unable to refuse more due to her deepest needs. To avoid the problem with the shovel and tarp, you must always be in control, every second, and she must know and trust you will be always in control to give herself completely.

If you can't carry her right to the threashold of her pain tolerence, without leaving marks on her face that could raise questions with coworkers etc., you need more practice. Just tell her you want to practice on her. Sounds like she's up for it. Be creative. Be in control. Just my opinion.

(in reply to wolf223)

Post #: 36

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/27/2011 11:38:52 PM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

You'll know you've crossed the line when you have to buy a shovel and a tarp.

Old school ;-D

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 37

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/28/2011 3:47:48 AM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
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Enumerated for simplicity:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dadof3inSC

1. I feel it crosses the line
2. I would never punch hit a woman
3. there is noway I could beat on a woman

That pretty much settles that. And also from your post, you've told her so.

So the only question that I see remaining here is how is she is going to proceed -- not you.

I don't think we help ya there. Have you tried looking up "Fortune Tellers"?

(or you could ask her)

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 9/28/2011 4:05:03 AM >

(in reply to Dadof3inSC)

Post #: 38

RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/28/2011 5:36:33 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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^^ i agree; if you feel there is no way you could do it, there's no reason to make yourself do it just because she wants to. you can both wander off and find someone else more compatible to play with.

that said, there are women who do enjoy punching and "rough body play" as they call it (*raises hand*) without necessarily having a past of similar physical abuse, or who are also not aware of the risks involved. it's an interesting sensation. i like hands-on-ness and physicality, and while i like toys and implements, i'm also very interested in the sensations that one body can cause on another. i also like fear and this kind of play taps into that. like Aileen said, it's about being aware of the risks, and being a consenting participant. if something happens without someone's consent, then it's abuse. injury on it's own doesn't necessarily constitute abuse. i've twisted ankles, broken a toe, and actually gotten a concussion, but at no time have i called it "abuse" and i was a willing and happy participant in the events leading up to the mishaps. sometimes it's just hard to plan for every silly little contingency -- like i never would've thought that a choking game would lead to a broken toe, even though we were prepared for all the other more obvious risks.

i would like to know what signals she's giving you that lead you to think she was abused and wants someone else to abuse her. that isn't necessarily true of someone who wants to play this way. if you don't want to do it, no one's holding a gun to your head making you do it. just decline.

p.s. AND please don't feel that you have to hover over her and steer her away from her choices. being a friend and giving advice is a good thing, but sometimes when people dont like an activity that you like, they go out of their way to stop you from participating in it or enjoying it.
she's (hopefully) a rational adult who can make sound decisions on her own.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 9/28/2011 5:37:39 AM >

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RE: When do you cross the line and its abuse ?? - 9/28/2011 10:40:20 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

quote:

Endivius:
You'll know you've crossed the line when you have to buy a shovel and a tarp.

crazyml:
Old school ;-D

Hey, if it works, there's no need to "fix it".

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 40

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