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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/16/2011 1:39:20 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		Stick not thy nose into the business of others. You have no idea what that situation actually consists of, no idea how others will respond to it, and neither the right nor the responsibility to involve yourself in it.

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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/16/2011 3:56:50 PM   
Awareness


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Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
As far as women falling for it? I doubt it. Most high school girls I know would slap a boy into next week who tried this, I can't imagine women ten years older being dumber than a 16 year old.
  The kid is right - high school girls are notoriously stupid and easy to exploit.  There's a whole genre of porn based upon that reality.

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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 6:58:54 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I am going to defend the OP to a point. Just because this is a kink site doesn't mean people dont have visceral reactions. Doesnt mean they find all kink acceptable. I can empathize with her reaction. When I was a newbie, some idiot "dom" in my area tried to tell me gang banging was a regularly occurring event in this "lifstyle", and that I had better get used to it. I had a pretty negative reaction to him and to what he said. I see that the OP has had a similar reaction - with the exception that she is wondering whether or not some action is appropriate.

I want to say one more thing about "consenting adults". It is true we have an age of consent. However: a number of people would look at the sex industry and say, Oh well, she is a consenting adult. She is. I agree. However, how she got there was very likely to be very much about how something happened when she was NOT an adult, and there fore could not consent. People often act out their trauma again and again, and in very unhealthy ways. Just sayin'.

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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 7:11:19 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Of course, sex workers Must Be Traumatized To Be So.

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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 7:11:30 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		If we stop letting people make choices because their choices are affected by their past, who would be qualified to make decisions? We're all a product of our past and the traumas therein, and we all muddle through as best we can. There is no alternative.

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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 7:33:38 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
not everyone on this site is into dominance and submission.

Most on here to be honest are not here for that but for kinky sex.

Why is that so surprising to so many? LOL

It surprises me because the name of the site is CollarMe.com  - I do NOT have an account at FetLife.  If I wanted kinky sex, that's where I'd be.  I'm interested in D/s, so yes, I'm kinda, sorta bummed out by the "I'm here for sex without a D/s dynamic the OP is about." 


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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 7:37:46 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
As far as women falling for it? I doubt it. Most high school girls I know would slap a boy into next week who tried this, I can't imagine women ten years older being dumber than a 16 year old.

well, maybe some but i tell ya, they sure didnt have rainbow parties and those cool colored bracelets (indicating how far the girl would go) when i was in high school...

WHAT!  Damn it ALL to HELL!  I went to an all-male H.S.
Wonder what the colors mean there now....

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 7:47:43 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Title is "Porn vs. Male Dominance"

I just now completed a tour of four mid-atlantic states, helping a male, gay sub on here find a contact that might "work" for him.  Lordy, you want porn?  These male Doms have NOT got a clue as to what the Master / slave dynamic might entail.  I saw profile after profile stating: "slave will be chained 24/7, you will do my every command, I don't care what you want - although I will listen to your requests," and similar.  You fill in the blanks.

No wonder my profile "sticks out."  There should be "stickies" on "Ask a sub / slave" just like on "Ask a Mistress."  BUT, these are the guys who will NEVER come over here. LOL!

Male dominance, my ass! <Stop lol-ing.  You know that's NOT what I meant!>

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 8:25:47 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

I can see everyone's point. I guess it's the wording "looking for women" that got to me. Not "a submissive", not a "poly situation", just plain looking for women to gangbang. Nothing about how he see's himself as a dominant, or how he perceives submission.


Personally, I approve of truth in advertising. A submissive woman looking for a Dom would know he's not the one. A woman looking for that particular kind of kinky sex won't have to waste time with small talk. ;)

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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 9:10:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
not everyone on this site is into dominance and submission
Most on here to be honest are not here for that but for kinky sex.

Why is that so surprising to so many? LOL

It surprises me because the name of the site is CollarMe.com  - I do NOT have an account at FetLife.  If I wanted kinky sex, that's where I'd be.  I'm interested in D/s, so yes, I'm kinda, sorta bummed out by the "I'm here for sex without a D/s dynamic the OP is about." 



The advertising on this site is from porn sites. When we're in the forums we're talking about cocks, tits and cunts and asses.

At the very least this site is a sex site despite the fact that others here may find their partners here.

There's a reason you can't view this site while you're at work and you have to close it down when your kids or your mom walks into the room.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/28/2011 9:11:41 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/28/2011 10:55:36 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		There really are a lot of grey areas. Thats the question you asked so it is the only one I can answer. I would however like to know...do you take issue with people that are into cockolding. Or sissys that get "rented" out to others(this happens a lot with cd/trans)

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/29/2011 2:19:31 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX


quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

There is a profile in my area for gangbangs by a "male dominant" in his mid 20's. It just has me on a slow burn because I'm seeing it as just plain porn and the profiler is calling himself a dominant. The scary part is new women to this lifestyle is going to fall for this being some kind of actual dynamic of a D/s relationship.

Personally, I want to report this as abuse but am I missing the point? Does kink, porn and dominance have too many gray areas for this type of situation? To clarify, the profiler is saying c'mon women, you know you would love it that I have all my friends over to use you as they please.


What buisiness is it of yours what consenting adults do? And who made you the authority on what the dynamics are for people that participate in d/s?
Report for abuse? Who the fuck do you think you are anyways?

The real scary part is: busybody people like you who report everything that you disagree with that isn't illegal. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS


I think this pretty much sums up how I feel about the OP.



I'm sorry you feel that way. I would have thought you would have been more objective. I'm wrong again it seems.


YEP yep MYOFB...Ive seen quite a few profiles from da girls wanting to be gang banged. Truth be told I ve talked to quite a few that were involved in gang bangs ... not my style but different strokes.

You act as thou there is something inherently wrong with wanting a train. Who the hell are you to decide what is right or wrong for someone else? So grow up and stop trying to save ppl from themselves.

BadOne


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/29/2011 2:36:29 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am going to defend the OP to a point. Just because this is a kink site doesn't mean people dont have visceral reactions. Doesnt mean they find all kink acceptable. I can empathize with her reaction. When I was a newbie, some idiot "dom" in my area tried to tell me gang banging was a regularly occurring event in this "lifstyle", and that I had better get used to it. I had a pretty negative reaction to him and to what he said. I see that the OP has had a similar reaction - with the exception that she is wondering whether or not some action is appropriate.



So lemme get this straight because you dont find a kink "acceptable" you are compelled to "warn others" about "your unacceptable" kink??? Who do you think you are??? The Kink police.

Like I said in my previous post I know lots of folks that enjoi a train. Just because it has not been you experience does not mean it's not happening a on regular basis.

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/29/2011 3:51:00 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

The advertising on this site is from porn sites. When we're in the forums we're talking about cocks, tits and cunts and asses.






And feet.

Don't forget feet.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/29/2011 5:18:50 AM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		If you go back and read CAREFULLY, I did not defend her wanting to do something about her reactions. I simply defended her reaction to the dom advertising wanting to gang bang women. Its absurd to think that we dont occasionally have a reaction to someone else' kink. I am not the kink police nor the morality police. I do believe in having honest reactions - even if it is disgust or discomfort to someone else's kink. Some kinks cross the line for some of us, and there is no use pretending that does not happen - for example, animals. That disgusts me and moreover, I think it is abuse and cannot be defended.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/29/2011 6:22:50 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

There is a profile in my area for gangbangs by a "male dominant" in his mid 20's. It just has me on a slow burn because I'm seeing it as just plain porn and the profiler is calling himself a dominant. The scary part is new women to this lifestyle is going to fall for this being some kind of actual dynamic of a D/s relationship. Personally, I want to report this as abuse but am I missing the point? Does kink, porn and dominance have too many gray areas for this type of situation? To clarify, the profiler is saying c'mon women, you know you would love it that I have all my friends over to use you as they please.


When guys come the intro forum with this I suggest they try SDC or other swingers groups. There is a very active swing community in South Florida - I know lots of women into this.

Hell, if the man I'm living with suggested this I might be open to it. However, I would never respond to a profile seeking this. I know my guy sees me as a person first. I wouldn't get into a dynamic where I was a fucktoy first.

Women who don't want to be a fucktoy but who would be susceptible to this guy's "charms" are open to all manner of exploitation and will have to learn the hard way. You can't save them.

What triggers me is "Dominant chasing his dick poly" vs "ethical poly" so I participate in the poly forums.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/29/2011 10:50:17 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		lol @ "Dominant chasing his dick poly" =p

anyway, this is one thing that i think would be avoided if CM had more "pick your own label" choices. he probably picked Dominant by default; alot of men assume that they're Dominants by virtue of being male, and many of them are too insecure to pick anything else. at least on Fetlife, for instance, a person who isn't really looking for any form of power exchange (lifestyle or bedroom or whatever) can pick Sadomasochist, Kinkster, or nothing at all.

i don't have a problem with people who just want to have gangbangs.  at least he's upfront about it in his profile.


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RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/30/2011 8:35:40 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
not everyone on this site is into dominance and submission.

Most on here to be honest are not here for that but for kinky sex.

Why is that so surprising to so many? LOL

It surprises me because the name of the site is CollarMe.com  - I do NOT have an account at FetLife.  If I wanted kinky sex, that's where I'd be.  I'm interested in D/s, so yes, I'm kinda, sorta bummed out by the "I'm here for sex without a D/s dynamic the OP is about." 



It's not my thing, but perhaps that is indeed this person's style of displaying dominance, and the women who respond as displaying their submissiveness? It's hardly what I would look for in a dominant man, but who's to say it's not the right answer for somebody else?

I think so many things are discussed on this site because BDSM affords people the opportunity to try new kinks as part of their D/s dynamic that maybe they wouldn't have done outside of being "forced" to as a bottom.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Porn vs Male Dominance - 9/30/2011 10:34:04 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

It's hardly what I would look for in a dominant man, but who's to say it's not the right answer for somebody else?

I think so many things are discussed on this site because BDSM affords people the opportunity to try new kinks as part of their D/s dynamic that maybe they wouldn't have done outside of being "forced" to as a bottom.



Dominance, like ice cream comes in many flavors and qualities.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 39
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