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Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 9:09:09 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		Have noticed that many male dom's do not play with male sub's and seem to play only with female sub's. Is this just there personal preference?? I am a Str8 male dom, I know this may sound silly, but if I give CBT to a male sub does it have anything to do with me being str8 or not?
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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 9:14:28 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		It is because many people do not separate the sexuality of bdsm and the play of bdsm online though i have found it more prevalent in the community. Go to some play parties and you will find more than enough male subs to play with.

(in reply to oddlots347)
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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 9:23:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Most people find their play needs to be best met if their sexual needs align. If however you can separate your sadism from your sexuality sufficiently and enjoy playing with a male sub, then kudos to you.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 9:34:41 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		Umm... yeah I'm going to say playing with another man's junk probably qualifies as slightly gay unless you work at Gitmo. 

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 9:51:59 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		Have not done it yet and It would not be for pleasure at all, but to inflict pain, I do not know if I could even do it. My wife might have to do the handling part and I will just do the breaking.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 9:57:45 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		oddlots.. pls email me later to remind me abut this thread.. I am sleepy and trying to stay as much on work/sleep schedule as I can..

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 10:19:33 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		Is the infliction of pain a completely asexual act for you?

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They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 10:24:52 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		Yes, it is completely an asexual act for me.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 10:53:23 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I know of a few Doms who love to play with males even though they are straight. They say it's a real kick to do CBT and know how much it really hurts. They know, from experience, how far they can go with any particular activity and take it to the edge. I know of some Doms who will not play with a male in their home territory for fear of being called gay or bi. Yet, get them 1,000 miles away where it is very unlikely that word will get back and they happily play with females or males.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 10:55:02 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		please don't see this as snarky or judgmental - I really AM curious

...if this is an asexual act for you, why do you want to do it?

I have seen other male Doms performing cbt on male subs at private play parties, and they are all straight too. I just never plucked up the courage to ask them what they get out of it.

I know that when my Master (who is a sadist) inflicts pain on me, it's totally sexual.

Any enlightenment would be totally appreciated

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 11:08:42 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Well I'm not a straight Dom so I can't really say, but here's a suggestion. You're a 48 year old Dominant, stop trying to act  like a 15 year old skater punk. The word is straight not str8


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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 11:10:21 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		The enjoyment I would get from it is to enjoyment of inflicting the pain and knowing how bad it hurts and seeing how far I can push them. I would not view it as a sexual act since I am not sexually attracted to men, this would be just a total act to punish. To me that is a total rush!!

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 11:12:14 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		ok - I get that

I have bottomed occasionally to male Doms, and although I enjoyed the play and the subspacey feeling, I was never sexually aroused. I guess it's the flip side to your coin.

Thanks for the explanation!

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 11:32:13 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		oddlots347
I find I have a rush when I have done cbt on males and my rush is sexual, why is your not the same! 
Your not aroused at all with your rush!  I want understand how your dominant works!  This
is for informatiion only!

Mons

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 11:48:57 AM   
oddlots347


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/4/2011
Status: offline 		Mons
Please make sure you understand this is not something I have done yet but might plan this week. Have done heavy impact play on men and get no sexual rush. My rush is more like an adrenaline rush, Like I want to kick someones ass feeling, when I am doing impact on a male, I am not looking at what a hot ass he has or hot nice his package is. I am wanting to seriously put a hurting on the man in front of me but with women it is a different, sexual and arousing. Does that help?

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 11:52:16 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		oddlots, thanks for the email.. (still havent gotten to sleep so forgive me if I dont make sense.. trust me..in my HEAD this probably WILL make sense!! LOL)

I have a dear friend (ad former top) who is male. His preference, in general, is for female bottoms. However, he does occasionally top males,. He does all the same sadistic stuff to the guys as he does to the girls (flogging, clamps, bondage, mummification, spanking, etc etc etc).

Since his sexual arousal is more about teh individual than anything else, and he doesnt get a hardon when he tops guys (or, for that matter, most women), no, this doesnt make him bi/gay/whatever. He is, simply, a top who doesnt differentiate gender when he's all about making someone go OUCH! LOL

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 12:41:32 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		In the same way that bottoming to me doesn't give me a sexual rush. I get the subspace, the pain, but it's a totally different reaction to the one I have with Master. That is extremely sexual. I guess it's all down to the relationship between the top and the bottom.

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 1:13:47 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I think it's pretty simple, it comes to what BDSM is for each person. For many it's sexual, for some it's not. I'm straight, don't get any pleasure out of sadism, but I do get sexual pleasure out of being kinky. If I were Dominant, I'd choose male partners because that's the sex I like getting naked with. I'd want to do sexual things with them instead of hurty things, therefore i'd pick men and not worry in the least that women didn't play into my own private scenario of what gets me going. 

It seems that through the threads you and your wife have written, you project how the two of you feel out onto others and don't understand when you come across differences. I'm not coming down on you, just trying to offer you an observation. All of your threads that I remember have said that you don't understand something about how others do things.

Could it just be as simple as saying it's different for everyone and to maybe accept the base that people out there have all kinds of personal reasons for doing what they do? I get that you're trying to find some answers and that's great, you might get farther with it all if you look at it all from the standpoint that people all do different things. That's what most people keep telling you on these threads. I'd perhaps examine why the two of you seem to be bumping your head up against this concept much of the time. It almost seems as though you expect continuity throughout the lifestyle and when you don't find it then it perplexes you.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 1:26:04 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Forgive me for saying this but this seems like a silly question to me. You should know if you are gay or not. You said you don't get a sexual rush from sadism. I understand that because I don't either. I can hurt a woman just as well as I can a man but if I want to have sex with something it will be male. If in the middle of doing cbt you feel the urge to have sex with the male you are doing it to than yes perhaps you are gay. If you don't then don't let it worry you. If you are asking because you are worried how others might view you.....get over it. We all have to deal with what others think of us everyday and most of us learn in time that the only opinion that matters is our own.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Is it taboo?? - 9/18/2011 2:56:30 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

Have noticed that many male dom's do not play with male sub's and seem to play only with female sub's. Is this just there personal preference?? I am a Str8 male dom, I know this may sound silly, but if I give CBT to a male sub does it have anything to do with me being str8 or not?

I don't think it necessarily makes you gay or bi. If you don't get turned on by it, you don't and you're not. Daddy, my sub and I went to a play party last night and a straight male Dom friend of ours was there & he Topped both a man and a woman. He whipped the shit out of that man and it was purely for the sadistic thrill he got out of it, nothing sexual.

I"m bi but, when I flogged a couple friends of mine really hard, it was purely for the sadistic thrill. It didn't turn me on at all. I think the answer to your question would be found by answering the question "Does it turn you on at all?"

~Hisprettybaby~

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