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Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 6:19:31 PM   
ShadedSilhouette


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline 		Hello, thanks for dropping in.

Now, being new to the scene and after having a little browse around most of the users that I see - after filtering out the obvious suspects - it's more than clear that for a submissive (particularly males) either looking for a dom or switch mistress, has to do quite a lot in order to be able to stand out in the crowd of people.
Aside from the really simple rules of thumb that just should be common sense, abilities to write more than one sentence, good grammar, refraining from spamming pictures of your cock at the first given opportunity, polite attitude and the like...there's still going to be a difficulty in making your first impression stand out from all the other decent first impressions.

So I was simply curious, what is it that first grabs you with a good profile and first message? I might as well learn from the best, after all!

Mx
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 6:40:00 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have you read the links that are contained in the Frequently Ask Questions section?

Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman
CMail Help: How to Contact a Dominant Woman


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 6:51:51 PM   
ShadedSilhouette


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline 		Hi LadyPact, and thank you. I had read those two posts linked in the main FAQ, and though it does give more specific reccomendations, I still feel that, for the most part, anyone that manages to make the effort will be able to satisfy all those areas with a bit of time spent on their profile, their searches and their messaging.

What I was curious about was what of all of those profiles, all of those people that have clearly made the right moves and put the effort in to make themselves come across in a positive way, how would a mistress be drawn to one in particular?

I may not be asking in the right sense, I'm simply trying to figure out how these initial impressions are valued, to one extent or another.

Mx

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 6:55:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		What you're asking has no universal answer.  For one person, it might be the turn of a phrase that made them laugh, where for others it might be that they hold a very no nonsense approach.  Some folks love submissives who have absolutely no lifestyle experience and others will find that one thing in a person's profile that shows they don't have any ties to the community.

If a hundred people answer this thread to say what they look for, unless you happen to be contacting that specific person, it could completely backfire for the next person that comes along.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 7:01:39 PM   
ShadedSilhouette


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline 		I understand. I think perhaps I am over-evaluating what needs to be done in order to come across as appropriate.

Well, thank you. You've been a great help within just 2 posts. :)

Mx

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 7:27:45 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Simple.  Just make sure that you can give them a good conversation, and enjoy yourself doing it.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 7:47:58 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		I would suggest that you simply be yourself.

Some people will like you.  Others won't.  There's really no way of making yourself universally likable. 

It sounds like you've already mastered the basics, and you're not spamming the ladies with pictures of your cock.  That puts you ahead of half the competition. 

But frankly, are you really interested in anyone who wouldn't like you for being the unique individual that you are?  Most of us are incapable of being anything else.  So let the real you shine through.  Someone out there is looking for just what you have to offer.

Good luck in your search.
-Roch

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 8:33:10 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadedSilhouette

I had read those two posts linked in the main FAQ, and though it does give more specific reccomendations, I still feel that, for the most part, anyone that manages to make the effort will be able to satisfy all those areas with a bit of time spent on their profile, their searches and their messaging.

Mx


Ahhhh, would that were true . We should be so lucky. Hello Matt. To answer your question, if I was looking I would first see where you are located. I would read your note to see if you addressed items throughout my profile and journal entries so I know you'd read the whole thing before contacting me. Then I would read your entire profile to see who you are and what you are about. Literacy is important to me so I would give lots of weight to how well you presented yourself in writing. Then I would hope to see your smiling face and enjoy other pictures in your profile that you'd be willing to put on a public facebook entry.

Should all that add up to a 'mmmmm, yum, nom nom nom nom and geographically practical' then I would write you back thanking you for contacting me and ask if you'd be willing to write with a phone number so we could talk. Then I'd call you and see how we communicate verbally. If we enjoyed our conversation, I'd ask if you would like to meet for lunch or a beach walk or hike. If we met and I felt a nice dose of in-person chemistry, I'd let you know about it and ask if you'd like to do something together again soon. If you did, we'd take it from there like any other two people who are beginning to get acquainted.

I read your profile and looked at your pictures. You are off to a lovely start. Good luck in your search; it shouldn't be long before you connect with someone worthwhile.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 9/19/2011 9:03:42 PM >

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/19/2011 8:36:16 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadedSilhouette
So I was simply curious, what is it that first grabs you with a good profile and first message? I might as well learn from the best, after all!
Mx

Your answers will vary as much as the women who post on this Board.

I like to see a profile that's well written w/ proper spelling and grammar. The personality and interests(vanilla as well as kink) of the writer should also shine through, and his sense of humor if he has one. It should tell me about him as a person, about what he has to offer me and what he wants and needs out of a dynamic. Also, a nice vanilla picture of him for a main photo is good. Even NO picture is better than a blatant cock or ass shot which would turn me off faster than anything.

When I receive a letter from a man, I like it to be polite and reflect the fact that he has, indeed, read my profile. It's nice if he uses whole words and not text-speak, because text-speak drives me nuts and shows laziness. I value good spelling and proper grammar in letters as well as in profiles. If he doesn't take the time to compose a decently written letter, I will most likely not take the time to write back to him.

When the first face-to-face meeting happens, he should be clean and neat, well-groomed and dressed appropriately for wherever the meeting place is, polite and free of nasty odors. I just like to be called by name, rather than by a title, until there is a dynamic. It's nice for the man to just "be himself," because that's who I'm trying to get to know.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/20/2011 5:28:57 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		You're cute as a button.. and since I'm not looking -- I'll refrain from what grabs me.. I will suggest: you can do everything right and STILL not get the answers you want... remember, that probably has little to do with you; move on and don't give up...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/20/2011 9:08:48 PM   
Qlita


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/20/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadedSilhouette


So I was simply curious, what is it that first grabs you with a good profile and first message? I might as well learn from the best, after all!

Mx


Make me laugh. No matter what you're like I will remember you if you make me laugh. I got so many messages my first day here (yesterday) that I deleted most of them unanswered. The ones who made me laugh, didn't get deleted. I have not answered all of them, but they have a better chance of getting answered than the deleted messages.
How do you make me laugh? A joke, a funny kinky story about yourself, a funny picture, whatever.

Once I laugh then you have a shot. Then I'll check out your profile. If your profile is complete, and if it also seems lighthearted and makes me laugh or chuckle too, then you have a big leg up on the competition.

There are other ways beside laughter a man can do to stand out with me but those I won't tell you about. A man has to discover them for himself. Until then, laughter is your best bet. Laughter probably works well on many other dommes too. It's hard to delete a man's message if he has lightened up your day by providing a good chuckle.


_____________________________

guxz sssje itshxm iraa cco h wieaaaªj!

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/20/2011 10:38:04 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline 		In my experience it's no different than answering a vanilla ad on match or CL or anything else. You just write to the person and tell them what about their profile grabbed you, and what makes you you.

If you are yourself, you will be able to continue the conversation with anyone who responds; if you are trying to say what you think someone wants to hear, you'll probably get derailed quickly.

Just accept most people you write to won't respond. And some who do write back won't hold your interest. And also accept that the flake quotient on this site is pretty high. So don't take anything online too seriously. Nothing means much until your meet eyeball to eyeball.

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/21/2011 1:23:14 AM   
ShadedSilhouette


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline 		You've all been amazing with your responces. Thank you. I can see as has been said that there isn't really an answer to suit all persons. But I will take on the notes and suggestions that have been given, and hope that something will bear fruit. :)

Again, thank you for your help people!

Mx

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/21/2011 2:45:10 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Really glad you found it helpful.  Since I missed it in My earlier reply, welcome to Collar Me.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShadedSilhouette)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Making an impresson - a proper impression - 9/21/2011 3:48:03 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		I find that laughter is just the best, but there is one thing I do not want, is a picture of someone
penis or someone bottom!  I will not answer anyone whom send those type of photo's it is a turn off for me, I wonder how
many other women has  he sent it too!  Also to many likes in the kink way everything is checked!  Leave '
something open to talk about later! 

Mons

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
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