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RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 3:41:25 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TomcatLXVI

So. Tell me how I can improve my profile.



Your profile reeks of horny desperation.

quote:



But the leash is mandatory.



Really? You lead with almost exclusively kink related info. The image I get is that you want a fuck toy. If that's not the case you need to erase all that, and focus on who you are and what you want in a woman. List your interests, sports, movies, music, politics, hell anything other than talking about your fetishes. It's ok to talk about some fetishes, but flesh out who you are and who you are looking for. A woman is far more than just a hole for your dick, contrary to what you may have seen in the pornos.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to TomcatLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 6:44:27 PM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

A woman is far more than just a hole for your dick, contrary to what you may have seen in the pornos.

They ARE?

Damn.  Gonna have to change my approach ...

Firm




_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 10:31:26 PM   
weaselwelder


Posts: 72
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		I'd purge the penultimate paragraph of your profile. Nobody likes to hear someone complain to them in the first three hundred words they have to get to know them.

Like everyone else, I have to really suggest you put a shirt on.

Start using the journal option. Post a lot. I get women messaging me out of the blue about every 500 words or so. If you find brains attractive, start showing yours off. If you want someone who can laugh, be funny. I find using the word penultimate while being alliterative works well for both.

Finally, be prepared to not hear back from most messages you send out. One response in ten is a high number. Just think about a singles bar, you aren't going to get a positive response from most people there either.

_____________________________

If you're on here asking for relationship advice, you're talking to everyone except the one you should talk to.

(in reply to FirmhandKY)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 11:38:11 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

A woman is far more than just a hole for your dick, contrary to what you may have seen in the pornos.

They ARE?

Damn.  Gonna have to change my approach ...

Firm





No no, there's a good deal of success with the whole "club 'em from behind" strategy.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to FirmhandKY)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/24/2011 12:26:02 AM   
MastaYeti


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/24/2011
From: FoCo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: weaselwelder

I'd purge the penultimate paragraph of your profile. Nobody likes to hear someone complain to them in the first three hundred words they have to get to know them.

Like everyone else, I have to really suggest you put a shirt on.

Start using the journal option. Post a lot. I get women messaging me out of the blue about every 500 words or so. If you find brains attractive, start showing yours off. If you want someone who can laugh, be funny. I find using the word penultimate while being alliterative works well for both.

Finally, be prepared to not hear back from most messages you send out. One response in ten is a high number. Just think about a singles bar, you aren't going to get a positive response from most people there either.



Phyllis, the plump pulsating probably porpoise pussy pushed past poorly performing pricks procuring penultimate prestige? Seems arduous. Be funny to women who want to laugh, be strong to women who want to be dominated, and be absent or really persuasive to lesbians. Only experience will teach you who wants what.

_____________________________

"The Gods do not protect fools, fools are protected by more capable fools"

(in reply to weaselwelder)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/24/2011 2:56:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TomcatLXVI
So. Tell me how I can improve my profile.


Trying not to get her arrested or thrown out of places by being led around in the mall on a leash would be a start. You say that's mandatory. Planning to take her to meet your folks like that?

Again, there's nothing on your profile that talks about you as a person. Contrary to your belief, most of your time together will not be spent having kinky sex. Do you want someone who likes indie movies because you do? Or someone who would enjoy fishing or hiking? You need a lot more commonality to have a relationship. And your profile gives no clue as to whether she has anything in common with you.

Nobody is going to write back to a Hi, want to chat? email asking personal questions about you. You need to present yourself in a light that there are topics for conversation. So far, there aren't.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to TomcatLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/25/2011 9:32:33 AM   
needsaroom


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

So I dunno what I'm doing wrong really.

I don't think there is any right way to do it that automatically brings success. The person you eventually find will latch onto something about you that is interesting to them for their own reason, whatever that may be. They will have to focus on you individually from among many others. Either you will present the best option in terms of pursuing a broad interest, or offer something unique they can't get elsewhere. At first you are put into a category and any unique traits are noticed. You will be one of a type but have your own special appeal. Showing up and being noticed is a start. From there you begin a relationship starting with the first contact. The person will go by how they feel when they communicate with you. They already want something so they are looking. You might be able to provide it or maybe not. As they sort that out they notice if they like dealing with you in the process. Who you are, how you act, how it feels to think about you will guide them toward you or shut down their interest. You eventually wind up with someone who liked getting closer to you one step at a time. If you're doing anything wrong it could be that you expect to take a shortcut when a relationship is about the journey and not the destination. The only thing you could do worse would be to listen to anything I have to say.

(in reply to Chesterfield91)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/25/2011 12:52:40 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		Remember the advice you get here is from people that generally follow the same guidelines as usual when somebody else asks for their opinion on how to bring up their response rate.  What you end up doing is more harm than good, you become a factory-made generic guy that really has nothing interesting about him.  Oh wow, you treat women with respect.  Who gives a fuck?  It's pretty much expected. 

You need to either change little at all, or present your edge and what makes you stand out as opposed to any other shirtless guy on here better.  You'll more than likely attract the type you're looking for as opposed to running off a deceptive mold.


_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to needsaroom)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/27/2011 4:33:28 PM   
Daddysgirl37033


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/21/2011
Status: offline 		Well.. I don't know. I usually try to reply to everyone that messages me simply because its not nice to ignore people unless its their first message and they insist on seeing my boobs or nakid pics or something like that..then yes, they do get ignored.

(in reply to TomcatLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/27/2011 5:05:59 PM   
Theon38


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/12/2011
Status: offline 		Here's the trick.

Women like confidence. Submissive women in particular.

It's a fine line that takes time to thread. They don't want their possible future Master to great them with something that sounds pleading, "Please take a look at my profile." isn't a bad thing to say, except it sounds pleading. You may hear your own voice and think it's innocuous, but they hear someone pleading, "Please!".

So, do yourself a favor, and take time to write each word and sentence. Don't rush it. Read their profile, and look for a common interest.

I was recently introducing myself to a woman on another site. Two of her interests intersected with my own and they both went together. So I worked them both into the "Hello".

If you're submissive looking for a Domme, I really can't help you. Not sure how your "voice" should sound in such a situation.

You also have to get a feel for each person, if it's possible. Remember, when you first meet someone, you don't tell them right off the bat about all those nuns you murdered. It tends to scare strangers away. So keep those heavy secrets until the third date or so, and you know she's into you.

I hope that helps.

(in reply to Chesterfield91)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/27/2011 7:02:51 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

be sure to have and exhibit a sense f humor.. I have yet to meet a good woman wihtout one!




Really? I've met quite a few good women who have the sense of humour of house-bricks.

However, I've rarely spoken to a woman who can't be tickled into at least liking me a bit better.

OP: Humour that works is that which is the verbal equivalent of a tickle in the ribs. Well, it works for me, anyway - except with the really cranky and vinegary ones. However, it's rare to come across women like that on CM. As you'll no doubt have already noticed, most women here are very sweet-natured and friendly to males.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 9/27/2011 7:03:40 PM >

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/1/2011 1:31:39 PM   
Chesterfield91


Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline 		Fuck it, I give up looking online. I sent out quite a few messages and still got zero replies. Most were deleted unread... What's the point if they're not getting read in the first place? But thanks for the help guys.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/1/2011 3:46:13 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chesterfield91

Fuck it, I give up looking online. I sent out quite a few messages and still got zero replies. Most were deleted unread... What's the point if they're not getting read in the first place? But thanks for the help guys.


They're probably getting read. They're hovering over your message to read the first few lines. They don't have to open messages completely to read them.

(in reply to Chesterfield91)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/1/2011 4:04:07 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chesterfield91

Fuck it, I give up looking online. I sent out quite a few messages and still got zero replies. Most were deleted unread... What's the point if they're not getting read in the first place? But thanks for the help guys.


They're probably getting read. They're hovering over your message to read the first few lines. They don't have to open messages completely to read them.


In which case the problem is probably the message.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/2/2011 1:52:36 AM   
Chesterfield91


Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline 		True, it is pretty hard to come up with a decent message when most girls' profiles are just a list of interests..

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/2/2011 4:36:46 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Well what would you do if you saw a girl you were interested in offline and didn't even have that? Besides the list of interests is a good place to start. Ask them about them. It's so obvious to me I don't understand why you didn't think of it.

Zeph

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Chesterfield91)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/2/2011 5:12:31 AM   
Chesterfield91


Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline 		I did think of that. I always put effort into it and go off of things I've read in their profiles and ask things about that, that's what I find so frustrating when they don't even get read. It's not as if I'm sending one liners or copy paste messages.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/2/2011 5:18:10 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		it's possible that there's something about your attitude coming through your posts that people don't like.
or you're contacting women who have tons in their inboxes anyway, and who will only graze though what you've sent them -- you can hover over a message and get a preview, and if there's nothing in there that strikes them, a lot of chicks won't read it any further.

what often happens is that you read something, have nothing to say in reply, and then the sender keeps pestering you about it. so avoiding reading it, they think, is a way to avoid that.

the online world is weird -- while there's this huge population discrepancy online, i don't find that it's so much reflected in person. so you might have better luck there. i mean, you're not the only one who sends messages into the void; my inbox might be full of messages from dudes i have no interest in, but a lot of times, when i write those who i do find interesting, i don't get a response either.

that's life.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Chesterfield91)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/2/2011 5:26:00 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chesterfield91

I did think of that. I always put effort into it and go off of things I've read in their profiles and ask things about that, that's what I find so frustrating when they don't even get read. It's not as if I'm sending one liners or copy paste messages.


Fella, I do all of that stuff as well, and my response rate is on the order of 5% or so.  Women here are inundated with messages and usually don't respond.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Chesterfield91)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 10/2/2011 5:30:35 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i do try to respond to the ones i get, even if i wouldn't really be interested in the person. i am very glad that i'm not expected to make the first move, but i imagine that's a lot of stress on some guys; to always have to put yourself out there first. it seems rude to me to not AT LEAST say "hi" back. i dunno -- like if i was walking down the street, and a guy said "why hello there," and i went past him, i'd feel bad for doing that.

that's just me.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 40
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