questioning..an outsider. (Full Version)

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Mastif -> questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 12:25:59 PM)

Hello, i am Mastifs sub/partner i am bi. we were looking for a girlfriend for me and a bondage partner for us. He found a woman on craigslist. she said she was looking for a couple that she wanted to be with a woman but needed a man to feel comfortable and show her how to be with a woman. He started texting her and i did but she is more into Him, has made it clear. she said if i was not comfortable with it then its over i am not there are red flags for me. she is not into the lifestyle but wants to learn to be a sub. she knows nothing really. i have tried to talk to him.. she is still pursuing a relationship with Him. i feel sick to my stomach and that she is being very disrespectful to me. am i wrong in feeling like she's just after Him?? she said she could have any man she wanted.



windchymes -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:09:12 PM)

Craig's List? I couldn't even sell a table there without attracting scammers, I can't imagine there would be somebody legit in the sex ads there.



littlewonder -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:15:23 PM)

I wouldn't worry too much about it except your Master may want to be careful it's not an undercover sting.

But the majority of the time it's just a scammer. So until your Master actually meets this person in real life, face to face, I would just blow it off as just another scammer and your Master being none too bright.




Mastif -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:17:23 PM)

i wish it was, they have talked on the phone He is going to go see her tomorrow night.



Hisprettybaby -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:19:03 PM)

~FR~
What was the agreement between you and your Dominant partner? Did you talk and agree on terms before contacting this woman? Is he honoring the agreed upon terms if they were, in fact, agreed upon? Or do you ultimately have no say regardless? I know you "were looking for a girlfriend for me and a bondage partner for us," but if you don't have a say in it, well....I don't know what to say. Actually, is your partner also bi? If not, how far does this woman think she's going to get with a gay man anyway? That would be interesting.

~Hisprettybaby~



littlewonder -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:22:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastif

i wish it was, they have talked on the phone He is going to go see her tomorrow night.


so he hasn't actually laid eyes on her yet. Until that actually happens, again I wouldn't be too worried. I'm guessing she doesn't show.



Mastif -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:24:25 PM)

she is single, divorced, she has sent Him pics, lots of them. she only sent me two. He is going to her place she is cooking Him dinner.



Mastif -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:26:42 PM)

she actually asked Him to take her to a dungeon. she texts Him she wants to please Him.



kalikshama -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:26:56 PM)

I suggest you read some threads in the Polyamorous Lifestyles forum. Poly won't work without clear communication. Like the Hisprettybaby said, what was your agreement with him? Did you two thoroughly discuss this?

Right now, this is not sounding like Ethical Poly to me...











Mastif -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 1:35:14 PM)

He told me i am to have a girlfriend..i understand and am ok with that i am bi, but this girl to me is just a red flag. she knows nothing of the lifestyle has never been with a woman. i was told by my Master-
"A bondage partner for us and a gf to me. someone that makes you happy and you can make happy.
the two of you can do things together. However a submissive woman that obeys me when told to do something. Not just a woman but a sub. I don't want someone who thinks im justgoing to jump into bed and fuck. you and i do that. I want a sub who can engage in bondage with us and isn't a backstabbing b*tch"



Hisprettybaby -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 2:12:01 PM)

Even if she knows nothing of the lifestyle and has never been with a woman, well everyone is a newbie in the beginning. We all had to learn at first.

The first red flag I see is the apparent lack of communication. Your Master doesn't seem to be communicating much with you regarding her, and he doesn't seem to be re-directing her attention toward including you when she asked HIM to take her to the dungeon. After all, isn't she supposed to be a girlfriend for you?

Another red flag I see is, she doesn't seem to be totally honest with you regarding her intentions. Lack of communication and dishonesty make even a monogamous relationship difficult at best, and it's even worse in poly. The more people that are involved, the more complicated it becomes. If she can't be honest and the communication between all of you is lacking, I don't see this ending very well.

Another thing that really bothers me about this is, he's wanting to find a woman for this position, but he seems to think most women are "backstabbing bitches." It sounds to me like he doesn't even like women much, even as people without him being sexually involved with her. I feel sorry for whoever she is that does get involved with him at all on any level.

~Hisprettybaby~




poise -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 2:30:12 PM)

If all goes well, tomorrow night will arrive and she will be a no show.
In the meantime, it isn't the outsider that you need to question,
but perhaps the motivations of your master in pursuing this
woman who is apparently not the fit you both were looking for.



Mastif -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 3:21:06 PM)

i want to thank you for all input and advice, i very much appreciate it. Again thank you.



SimplyMichael -> RE: I Admit It I........ (9/22/2011 3:29:11 PM)

Your master is an idiot, let me guess, she is either younger, thinner, or prettier, right?



Mastif -> RE: I Admit It I........ (9/22/2011 3:30:42 PM)

yes Sir,she's younger.



Buzzzz -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 3:31:37 PM)

Sooo.... how did the meeting go?



Mastif -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 3:33:54 PM)

He has not met with her yet, He is meeting her tomorrow night . Going over to her house (she has kids) she is making Him dinner.



SimplyMichael -> RE: I Admit It I........ (9/22/2011 3:42:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastif

yes Sir,she's younger.


this is like some bad slasher movie where you are screaming at the actors but the movie doesn't stop and you can't save them.



OsideGirl -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 3:46:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastif

she is single, divorced, she has sent Him pics, lots of them. she only sent me two. He is going to her place she is cooking Him dinner.


I have to tell you.....Master would not do that to me. He wouldn't go see her without me and certainly wouldn't pursue her if I expressed doubts. Any body who tries to get in between us, gets shut down pretty quickly.



kalikshama -> RE: questioning..an outsider. (9/22/2011 4:29:29 PM)

quote:

A bondage partner for us and a gf to me. someone that makes you happy and you can make happy. the two of you can do things together.


If that's the deal than under no circumstances should he be going anywhere with her alone unless/until you two females have become friends. Anything less is a recipe for disaster.



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