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Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 5:30:51 PM   
ownme2387


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/18/2011
Status: offline 		So I joined this site to meet a Mistress and so far after reading through profile after profile after profile I've come to realize as I'm sure most of you know that at least 75-80% of Women are only interested in "financialdomination or "wallet raping" 15% are Pro-Dommes and the tiny 5 percent left over are actually lifestyle Dominant Women. However I'm not here to complain about that, I see enough people doing it already. What I'm asking is besides this site, are there any alternatives to meet a lifestyle Mistress? I'm about to give up completely on this whole idea so any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated, thanks.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:24:01 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,

Yes that is sad when all a Mistress wants is money. Although some may come across that way many are actually seriously looking for a slave and just want to be served in everyway they ask, which may or may not include financially (some male doms expect this as well). I suppose no different than a husband pitching in, or going on a date. But yes if the first thing out of her mouth is money then you might want to be careful. We get approached by males asking for a fantasy service but we are also approached by males who sincerely want to be a slave in everyway. We do appreciate a slave who can serve us in a number of ways and not be selfish about it. We always have positions available for workslaves who do not have money but want to serve us in other ways.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to ownme2387)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:25:29 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		I'm not Domme but your profile screams whiny twit, looking for a fetish delivery system, not a relationship with a female

(in reply to ownme2387)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:29:02 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		And shock.horror!!!!

The we will charge you to train you online and give you a certificate jumps in.

Do people really fall for that???

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:48:49 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,

We have offered in person training for twenty years, and online training for 10 years, so yes there are numerous slaves who want and appreciate what we offer them. They come to us asking us to provide them with such training. We also have live-in fulltime 24/7 slaves, workslaves, sissymaids, and other types of slaves including long distance slaves. We are accepting and non-judgmental. Possibly why slaves love us so much.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:55:40 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		I'm yet to hear what your training actually involves other than you making money!!!

Can You train me how to give a Dom a BJ. To your liking yes , To who i'm seeing,not a hope in hell.

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:57:43 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownme2387
What I'm asking is besides this site, are there any alternatives to meet a lifestyle Mistress? I'm about to give up completely on this whole idea so any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated, thanks.

There's another free kink site called Fetlife, and it's really good for finding groups and events in your area and networking. Collarme has a better search function for finding people, but Fet is much better for finding events and so on. That way you could find munches in your area and go meet people in a relaxed face-to-face atmosphere. That being said, I met my current submissive here on Collarme. I also initially met my current Dom on here, but then I met him in person at our local munch.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to ownme2387)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 6:59:15 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Academy, In all these years, I have never dug deeper on your web site. I did tonight. You finally get the monthly price... but no details on what costs more and how to stop their subscription unless they sign in and talk to support or go to the support. So they have to pay before they can know what services cost.

Seeing as though you are here often posting how wonderful you all are... mind sharing with us how much those services you mention costs? I'd like to know just how understanding you all are. I mean... the promise of being a real slave to one of you, I am sure is a draw, but really, what are the chances? How about testimonials? Guys that have graduated... do you have a list of them... I might be interested in one. What kind of guarantee do you have that they have actually been trained in all the things your site says you offer?

So if your posts are free advertisement... let's get the whole deal out in the open.

You post on threads where men are upset that domina's are charging money and you come off like you are offering something better. Prove you are.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 9/23/2011 7:02:28 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 7:21:44 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		ownme2387,

Here's some blunt and hopefully helpful advice.

First, delete your profile content (yes, all of it) and start over again.  Leave out the fetish stuff and especially the references to brown and red showers.  Dude, even if these are some of your hard limits, it's not necessary to put these in your profile.  Also, ditch the stuff about looking for someone to control you.  A dominant woman knows this already - no need to tell her what she already knows.  What a potential dominant partner doesn't know is what makes you an interesting, well-rounded person.  THAT is the stuff to put in your profile.  You know... showing your sense of humour... talking a little about your passions and goals in life... possibly filling in some details about the kind of relationship you're looking for (monogamous, poly, etc.).

Second, see AcademyForSlaves' post above?  Ignore this kind of stuff.  This is actually more insidious than the usurers who make it clear they want to use you.

Third, join the conversations here and get to know people.  You'll quickly figure out who the dominants are that offer sincere, valuable lifestyle advice and who contribute selflessly to our community.  (Where is Lady Pact when you need Her? :-)  And, you'll make friends and figure out those who have life experience worth learning from (Dark Steven, LadyAngelika, GreedyTop, PeaonForHer, Lockit, OttersSwim, Akasha, LadyNTrainer, strangedesire, WildHrt, undergroundsea, LaTigresse, VaguelyCurious, and a number of others come to mind).  Hannah and her partner Heather seem like good folk too.  My point is, get to know people as people and leave the "looking for a Domme" thing alone for a while.  As you get to know others, your "looking for" approach will change and develop in a more organic way.

Fourth, if you don't have a FetLife account already (www.fetlife.com), create one.  Use FetLife to find groups with events in your area.

Fifth, go to events in your area and meet kinky people in real life.  This provides BDSM life experience that helps immeasurably online and off.

Edited to add #1:  ah, there is Lockit now.  I've not read her advice yet and I can still say with certainty it's worth reading.

Edited to add #2:  AcademyForSlaves posted again.  I cannot say strongly enough to ignore this kind of "training".  This is fantasy, self enjoyment stuff and not what drives the foundation of a mutually rewarding, D/s relationship.  The only training you need is that which you gain while leading a well balanced life.  As for specific BDSM protocols and/or things your dominant may want, these are unique to each person and can only be learned communicating with and listening to that person.  The best you can do before getting to that stage is... brush up on your manners, learn about yourself and your own interests, show empathy and kindness in general, learn about things that may be of interest to potential partners, and be willing to listen and communicate as is appropriate.

I'm glad you came back and decided to join in, and I hope you stick around. :-)

Elan.


< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 9/23/2011 8:19:25 PM >

(in reply to ownme2387)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 7:53:06 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Academy, In all these years, I have never dug deeper on your web site. I did tonight. You finally get the monthly price... but no details on what costs more and how to stop their subscription unless they sign in and talk to support or go to the support. So they have to pay before they can know what services cost.

Seeing as though you are here often posting how wonderful you all are... mind sharing with us how much those services you mention costs? I'd like to know just how understanding you all are. I mean... the promise of being a real slave to one of you, I am sure is a draw, but really, what are the chances? How about testimonials? Guys that have graduated... do you have a list of them... I might be interested in one. What kind of guarantee do you have that they have actually been trained in all the things your site says you offer?

So if your posts are free advertisement... let's get the whole deal out in the open.

You post on threads where men are upset that domina's are charging money and you come off like you are offering something better. Prove you are.

Yeah, the site says it works out to as little as $1.67 a day, so that would be about $50.10 for a thirty day month. But "as little as" implies that that's just the very basic rate and that there are options that could cost a lot more on top of that.

~Hisprettybaby~



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 8:07:01 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ownme, you've been given good advice. I think finding a play partner might be easier in person. I know it is for me. lol However there are a lot of very good people around here and worth wading through the chaos to find them.

Establishing yourself here or at another site, getting involved and having a bit of fun, people can see a bit of who you are and that goes a long, long way. To encourage you... there is one young man I will bring up. He was a cutie... he expressed himself well on the message boards and he listened! That listening helped him a lot because he was a bit lost. Within a short time, he had a wonderful domina and left. I really miss that kid! (He didn't mind me calling him kid! lol) What you learn here can help you at a munch or if you don't care to go to a munch, you might rethink it after getting to know some people around here.

There are no shortcuts for most, so settle in, prepare to get out a bit and focus on having fun of many kinds rather than one kind and you will do well.

Elan... thank you darlin!


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 8:17:37 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I miss that kid, too!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/23/2011 11:25:06 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
(Where is Lady Pact when you need Her? :-) 

Elan.

Funny you should ask.  I was at a munch.  :-)

~~~~~

To the OP. 

Hon, your chances are far better in the lifestyle community than they are on the net.  I'm not saying it can't happen here, but statistically, your chances are far better in the real world.  Look at what your own numbers are showing you.  That 5% turns into at least 95% of lifestyle Dommes (based on the number of female Dominants at any given event) rather than pros or folks who want to sign you up to their website for a monthly fee.  For that same fifty bucks that somebody wants to charge you a month for "online training" you could be out having dinner with other kinky folks plus pay your door fee for a play party or demo (maybe both) and get some REAL education about this thing we do.  It's not a guarantee that you'll go to your first munch and meet the Mistress of your dreams, but you will get to make new friends, network, and gain new experiences.  Isn't that kind of more fun anyway?

Stick around.  Between reading here (which doesn't cost you a dime) and going out to meet other kinky folks, there's a lot of benefits.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/24/2011 5:11:30 AM   
SadisticMs2


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline 		His profile is already gone.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/24/2011 12:28:41 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Lady Pact,

quote:

Funny you should ask.  I was at a munch.  :-)


I'm fairly sure this was clear in my post, but in case it wasn't... You are one of the reasons I tune in to CM.  Your experience, knowledge, and perspective are very much appreciated, as is Your willingness to help others. :-)

E.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Need some suggestions.. - 9/24/2011 12:32:28 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		SadisticMs2,

quote:

His profile is already gone.


Hmmm.  AcademyForSlaves' advertising static aside, I hope the OP took the feedback from this thread in a positive, welcoming way.

(in reply to SadisticMs2)
Profile   Post #: 16
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