The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself

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AdorkableAiley -> The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/25/2011 11:13:29 PM)
Ok so I started this thead a couple of years back and went back and read it today when I was feeling a little down. It was some of the funniest stuff. The thread was just a hoot and lots of fun to read and partake in so I wanted to create a new one for us all to enjoy and join in on. I didn't want to revive a 5 year old thread so instead I thought Id make a new one with a link to the old so you can all go back and read if you want. http://www.collarchat.com/m_686683/mpage_1/tm.htm I'll start off by sharing a new story of my own. I was in Israel erlier this year, and anyone who has ever been there knows some of the roads in the market places are made of stones that are well worn and very smooth. The best way I could describe it is like walking on ice. Well being an American and used to concrete I was not prepared. I found it hard to walk on without sliding around. I was lucky to be with a friend who was much more steady on his feet than I and lent a hand to help me when walking on the smoother areas, however not even he could compensate for how much gravity hates me. I took a bad step went sliding and nearly took him down with me. If I had not been holding his hand I would have ended up on my ass, as it was it twisted my ankle! Ailey- the super clumsy

littlewonder -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/25/2011 11:19:04 PM)
oh I hurt myself on a daily basis because I'm a superklutz

Kana -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/25/2011 11:25:04 PM)
OMG, there are too many to count. The time as a kid I tried to punch my brother, who ducked and I put my hand through the TV. Or the night I was dancing on a bar (Tequila man, it's bad stuff) and broke my heel jumping off. Or when I broke my cheekbone (And lost 1/2 my skin) when I tomahawked off my bike and into a stop sign when the front wheel came off as I was barreling full down a steep hill. But the worst was the beating a cop gave me when I, smart aleck that I am, said, "Hey man, she swore she was 18." when he was rousting me about some completely unrelated shit. Yeah, that one was absolutely avoidable. Not to mention self inflicted. And that cop really kicked holy fuck out of me, not that I didn't deserve it. Hell, twenty years later, I'd have helped him kick my own ass. :-) (And on a more serious note, without a doubt, the stupidest, and harshest, way I've ever hurt myself was by taking up tobacco. Uuuuggggghhhhh. That was monumentally stupid)

LafayetteLady -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/25/2011 11:28:14 PM)
Oh geez, there are so many to choose from! When I was younger, I was quite graceful, but as I have aged, grace has succumbed to clumsiness. I have fallen UP stairs, had my ankle turn while standing still. I think the funniest was when I was in my early twenties. I was dating this guy and meeting his parents for the first time. We were having dinner at Pocono Downs and were the first to be seated. I was dressed in heels and a short skirt (just a couple inches above the knee) wanting to make a good impression on his parents. As they went to seat us, my heel caught in a loop in the carpet and I went down the stairs with my ass in the air. Worse, the lake we were spending the weekend at, one of his friends was getting married. Quite redneck, a pig roast on the other side of a corn field. Anyway, I met a bunch of his friends and as we were talking, I leaned against the (no longer hot) roasting spit. I assumed it was a cemented together structure. Nope. I toppled the majority of it over and scraped my leg when the cinder blocks fell. The best I can say is that I was easily memorable, lol.

shallowdeep -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/25/2011 11:55:59 PM)
In the image below you see a knife, a pair of scissors, and a sharp circular device I was using to cut out wrappers for potstickers. There's also a pasta machine with nice, innocuously smooth edges. Guess which one I used to put a hole in my skin this past week? Yeah, I'm not quite sure how I managed it either. Based on the local baseball team's propensity for injury, it could have been worse, though: Frozen hamburger patties 1, Jeremy Affeldt 0 Plus, in the end, at least I got potstickers! [image]local://upfiles/324704/7131A46C853E40259C57CC641DDEEED1.jpg[/image]

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 12:01:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder oh I hurt myself on a daily basis because I'm a superklutz LOL I can relate I am completley a super klutz! Gravity hates me so much I can actually fall UP steps! Ailey the super klutz Edited to add- superklutz LOL I think I have my Halloween costume!

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 12:03:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shallowdeep In the image below you see a knife, a pair of scissors, and a sharp circular device I was using to cut out wrappers for potstickers. There's also a pasta machine with nice, innocuously smooth edges. Guess which one I used to put a hole in my skin this past week? Yeah, I'm not quite sure how I managed it either. Based on the local baseball team's propensity for injury, it could have been worse, though: Frozen hamburger patties 1, Jeremy Affeldt 0 Plus, in the end, at least I got potstickers! [image]local://upfiles/324704/7131A46C853E40259C57CC641DDEEED1.jpg[/image] LOL not to worry, on the last thread I believe someone cut themelves with a spoon. Now THATS talent! Ailey

Arpig -> RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/26/2011 12:24:19 AM)
I was making supper and I put on oven mitts and took the casserole out of the oven, put it on the counter, and then took the top of the casserole dish off to check the food....AFTER carefully removing the oven mitt first.

FirmhandKY -> RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/26/2011 12:50:25 AM)
I won't go into details. Just that it involved a pile of brush, gasoline vapors, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts on a hot summer day and learning how thermobaric explosions work ... Firm

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 1:58:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Oh geez, there are so many to choose from! When I was younger, I was quite graceful, but as I have aged, grace has succumbed to clumsiness. I have fallen UP stairs, had my ankle turn while standing still. I think the funniest was when I was in my early twenties. I was dating this guy and meeting his parents for the first time. We were having dinner at Pocono Downs and were the first to be seated. I was dressed in heels and a short skirt (just a couple inches above the knee) wanting to make a good impression on his parents. As they went to seat us, my heel caught in a loop in the carpet and I went down the stairs with my ass in the air. Worse, the lake we were spending the weekend at, one of his friends was getting married. Quite redneck, a pig roast on the other side of a corn field. Anyway, I met a bunch of his friends and as we were talking, I leaned against the (no longer hot) roasting spit. I assumed it was a cemented together structure. Nope. I toppled the majority of it over and scraped my leg when the cinder blocks fell. The best I can say is that I was easily memorable, lol. I have never been graceful LOL clumsy since I became mobile on my own. Ailey

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/26/2011 1:59:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig I was making supper and I put on oven mitts and took the casserole out of the oven, put it on the counter, and then took the top of the casserole dish off to check the food....AFTER carefully removing the oven mitt first. LOL I seem to want to touch very hot thing with my bare hands too ((Rememers grabbing hot metal out of a kiln...)) Ailey

xxblushesxx -> RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/26/2011 3:29:25 AM)
I walked into an iron horse on labor day weekend and broke the toe right next to my little toe. I thought I had just jammed it really bad, but I'm still having pain and problems walking. (almost my entire foot was black and blue the next day)

Aileen1968 -> RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/26/2011 6:44:11 AM)
I was on vacation in Cape Cod and was enjoying way too many margaritas at the house. Was putting together a antipasto platter and was slicing the skin of off the dried Italian sausage. Stupid me was slicing towards my hand instead of away from it and the knife amazingly [:)] decided to jump off of the sausage and right into the webbing of my hand between the thumb and forefinger. Went in about a good inch. Spent the next five hours at the emergency room getting stitches.

tolovetolaugh -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 6:54:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder oh I hurt myself on a daily basis because I'm a superklutz LOL I can relate I am completley a super klutz! Gravity hates me so much I can actually fall UP steps! Ailey the super klutz Edited to add- superklutz LOL I think I have my Halloween costume! You have not seen true super stupid klutziness until you have seen a drunken cripple walking on muddy plywood! Must have fallen about 20 times this weekend.

poise -> RE: The Stupidest way you ever hurt yourself (9/26/2011 7:08:26 AM)
A few years ago, I was taking what I'm certain would have been a very delicious turkey out of the oven. Apparently, the aroma was too much for my then young kitten to resist, and she managed to get between my feet. Like magic, this 18lb turkey toppled out of its pan and landed on my chest, hot drippings and all. [:(] And just this past weekend, I was taking advantage of the cool weather and riding my bike on the levee. Just as I was making my turn to the road to head back home, a car came up from behind and started beeping. I turned my head for a split second, just long enough to not notice a few large rocks and went tumbling over the handlebars. My right hand swollen and bruised, as is my ego, as I heard laughter as the car drove off! Hrmph!

Hillwilliam -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 7:08:42 AM)
I guess the worst was once when I was in college at a party (how many of these stories start out this way?). I had a beer or 12 and some friends were sitting up on a window ledge for the second floor apartments. At the time, I had a really good vertical leap so my plan was to jump up, grab the ledge and climb on up because I was too fucking lazy to walk around (besides, it looks more studly dontcha think?). What I didn't realize was the people on the first floor had their old style tilt out window open which consisted of a pane of glass surrounded by a thick steel rim. I swing my arms HARD. leap into the air and SMACK, shattered both my thumbs on that rim.

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 8:12:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh quote: ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder oh I hurt myself on a daily basis because I'm a superklutz LOL I can relate I am completley a super klutz! Gravity hates me so much I can actually fall UP steps! Ailey the super klutz Edited to add- superklutz LOL I think I have my Halloween costume! You have not seen true super stupid klutziness until you have seen a drunken cripple walking on muddy plywood! Must have fallen about 20 times this weekend. Be careful hon! No use really cripling yourself!! Ailey Edited because, yeah even after being on these forums for over 8 years I still managed to put my reply on the wrong place. DOH![sm=banghead.gif]

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 8:17:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam I guess the worst was once when I was in college at a party (how many of these stories start out this way?). I had a beer or 12 and some friends were sitting up on a window ledge for the second floor apartments. At the time, I had a really good vertical leap so my plan was to jump up, grab the ledge and climb on up because I was too fucking lazy to walk around (besides, it looks more studly dontcha think?). What I didn't realize was the people on the first floor had their old style tilt out window open which consisted of a pane of glass surrounded by a thick steel rim. I swing my arms HARD. leap into the air and SMACK, shattered both my thumbs on that rim. Something tells me you WOULDN'T be surprised! Ailey

tolovetolaugh -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 8:19:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley quote: ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh quote: ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder oh I hurt myself on a daily basis because I'm a superklutz LOL I can relate I am completley a super klutz! Gravity hates me so much I can actually fall UP steps! Ailey the super klutz Edited to add- superklutz LOL I think I have my Halloween costume! You have not seen true super stupid klutziness until you have seen a drunken cripple walking on muddy plywood! Must have fallen about 20 times this weekend. Be careful hon! No use really cripling yourself!! Ailey Edited because, yeah even after being on these forums for over 8 years I still managed to put my reply on the wrong place. DOH![sm=banghead.gif] [:D][:D][:D] The hurt foot is still in a pretty indestructible boot. Besides, it gave the other drunks something to bet on.

AdorkableAiley -> RE: The Stupidest way you have hurt yourself (9/26/2011 8:28:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh quote: ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley quote: ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh quote: ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder oh I hurt myself on a daily basis because I'm a superklutz LOL I can relate I am completley a super klutz! Gravity hates me so much I can actually fall UP steps! Ailey the super klutz Edited to add- superklutz LOL I think I have my Halloween costume! You have not seen true super stupid klutziness until you have seen a drunken cripple walking on muddy plywood! Must have fallen about 20 times this weekend. Be careful hon! No use really cripling yourself!! Ailey Edited because, yeah even after being on these forums for over 8 years I still managed to put my reply on the wrong place. DOH![sm=banghead.gif] [:D][:D][:D] The hurt foot is still in a pretty indestructible boot. Besides, it gave the other drunks something to bet on. Ahh to have a purpose in life! Ailey

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