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Kaliko -> RE: Subs can you shed some light (10/4/2011 1:43:55 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Having dabbled in both the Vanilla and BDSM arenas, I've personally found things like "communication", or lack thereof, can best be attributed to the person, rather than the dynamic. (shrugs) [:)]
Yes, I understand, and I agree. It just so happens that in my own experience, that communication was so much more real in my D/s relationship. The "person" (me) was more motivated to a deep level of openness in D/s, but sure...that might have had less to do with D/s and more to do with the two people involved. But I've only got my own experiences to judge myself on, so, all factors considered together, I have to say that it's the dynamic (plus the right person, but I guess I assumed that's a given) that moves me to expose myself completely.
Maybe look at it this way (and I'm just testing this theory as I type it) - I am also much more communicative in writing than in verbal discussion. I am willing to dig deeper and simply say more if I can take my time and write it out and use the thesaurus to pick just the right word. It's not that I don't ever talk...it's just that writing will draw out a different type of response from me - a deeper and more satisfying type of offering. Same with D/s. I can communicate with my vanilla partner...to a point. But if my dominant is looking at me as if he owns my soul, tells me to stop being too careful with my words, and demands that I dig deeper for him, then I will dig deeper for him. There's communication, and then there's communication.
I know...communication isn't love, and this is about love. But, as I said, I do believe that this willingness to be so exposed is also a part of how I express my love. It's all kind of wrapped up in one.
And, as luck will have it, since I have myself all nicely figured out, tomorrow I will probably fall like a brick for someone that blows my whole theory out of the water.
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