What is your appeal? (Full Version)

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lunaticlorraine -> What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 3:18:21 AM)

Just lately I have been wondering what life is like on the other side of the fence. So to speak.
I am a submissive, and I don't think I have a single Dominant bone in my body. But I have often wonders why Dominants, are in fact Dominant.
What is it that you enjoy about it?
I'm very curious.



DarkSteven -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 4:02:02 AM)

I'm not a Domme, but I'll have a crack at it.

1. I love spanking and playing with breasts and other bits.  I also love having the power to do, that at least as much as the actual play.
2. I like to be in control.  I like knowing that I can influence my sub's life to a degree and hopefully improve it, and also to put her into the proper headspace.




Mishna -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 4:25:44 AM)

I used to sub. I never thought I would ever want to top--I loved being done to, so to speak. But, after some negative experiences with a few doms, I came to think I could do it better. In many ways, I do. I find it more fulfilling to me on the whole, than I found subbing and when decisions need to be made, I don't make them with my dick, but rather with my head. It's appealing to have control over someone who is stronger, to be the one responsible for safety, for coming up with new ways to play, new ideas (although I certainly like for my sub to chime in). For me, it's about being in a position of higher authority, and consequently, higher responsibility. I found that as a sub, I could never trust the  doms I submitted to, to actually make decisions that didn't harm me. So, I moved out of that place of distrust, and into one where I set the standard for trust and integrity. Made all the difference in the world.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 8:23:09 AM)

I don't have a submissive bone in my body. I am the only daughter of an ethnic household, so I was *raised* to serve, and I absolutely understand service. But submission? I think I will be baffled by it for the rest of my life. I just say THANK YOU to those that want to serve me[:)]



kalikshama -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 2:05:53 PM)

NocturnalStalker started a good thread recently that sheds some light into the sadistic headspace: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3839449/tm.htm



Madame4a -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 2:53:15 PM)

there is also this thread.. similar in some ways.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3860843/tm.htm



MissToYouRedux -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 2:59:09 PM)

I'm just a naturally bossy and controlling woman, so it suits. [:D]



Hisprettybaby -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/27/2011 4:51:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lunaticlorraine
I have often wonders why Dominants, are in fact Dominant.
What is it that you enjoy about it?
I'm very curious.

Actually, I'm a switch, so I enjoy both Dominance and submission. Let's see...what I like about being a Domme:
1. I love the control.
2. I love to physically Top someone.
3. I like being able to surprise my sub. hehe
4. I like a teensy bit of sadism. hehe
5. I love helping someone be the best person he or she can be.
6. The Dommespace after Topping someone is such a rush.
7. Did I say yet that I love the control?
I know it's probably really not that simple, but those are the first things that come to my mind.

~Hisprettybaby~



AdorkableAiley -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/29/2011 8:55:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

NocturnalStalker started a good thread recently that sheds some light into the sadistic headspace: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3839449/tm.htm


I don't think sadism has a lot to do with Domlyness... I am a tad sadistic (its that itty bitty sadist I found that lives within me...) but not even remoly a Dom. I mean they often walk hand in hand but just as often do not. Just like being a sub and being a masachist arent interchangable and pleanty of D types are masachistic as well.

As for the OP, I'm the same boat as you, I don't know the appeal at all but then D types, I don't think most of them could ever immagine being s types.


Ailey the sadistic masachistic submissive (ha say that 10 times fast!)



LaTigresse -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/29/2011 10:49:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

I'm just a naturally bossy and controlling woman, so it suits. [:D]


Pretty much this! The very idea of submission makes me cranky.



lobodomslavery -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/29/2011 11:24:58 AM)

the very idea of dominating someone would make me puke. i don t have a controlling bone in my body
kevin



Tantriqu -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/29/2011 3:51:40 PM)

I always chafed in the traditional role of submissive female; my mother is smarter than my father, and she got her way by lip service and manipulation as her only available tools; it was sickening to me, but even as a kid, I knew it was the wrong way to a correct decision. Schools taught us the same thing: 'because you're the girl'.
So imagine my delight when I was 17 in first-year university and found good men not only admire me, but get turned on by being told what to do sexually, and by pleasing me: JILLPOT!
Someone trying to exert his dominance over me when I was a kid made me physically ill and angry; now it makes me roll my eyes, laugh at the little man, and walk away before I puke on his golf shirt.



slaveluci -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/29/2011 4:30:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley

I don't think sadism has a lot to do with Domlyness... I am a tad sadistic (its that itty bitty sadist I found that lives within me...) but not even remoly a Dom.

I so relate to this statement. In the BDSM context, I don't have much of a desire to "dom" anyone. I've often wondered aloud to Master, though, how he restrains Himself sometimes when whipping/caning/generally hurting me. I feel like - if I were to ever be in a position to be doing this to someone - that I would want to take it too far and probably cause more pain than they may really want. I can imagine myself taking it too far and not stopping when I should. In short, I can imagine myself being very sadistic. That has often seemed odd to me, given that I don't want to dominate anyone in that way. But...that's how it is....sensical or not[8D]

Thanks for summing it up for me............luci



LookieNoNookie -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/29/2011 7:59:26 PM)

My appeal:

I'm 6'7", 210...all muscle (4 pack...I won't lie...working on a 5 pack), own 3 islands in the San Juan's (one isn't currently paid for but, it has a 3.72374%, fully amortized 30 yr. mortgage), helipad on all 3, personal jet (it's 5 years old, but it works...polished oak arm rests) and a 27 inch cock.

And I have 9 kabillion in cash under my mattress.

That's all.



ProlificNeeds -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/30/2011 10:01:10 AM)

As a switch I'd say the appeal was, one day I met a man who made me want to be the leader, to direct and control at times, not for the sake of control but because I enjoyed the specific relationship and dynamic we had. (He was also hopeless in bed so it just seemed to flow naturally that I would 'instruct' him at times.)

I don't always feel the urge to switch, it depends on the person and my connection with them, but if I take over the top it's either in a nurturing capacity (IE. I will be the strict nurse who forces you back to health), or a sadistic capacity (I feel particularly evil and want him to squirm for my entertainment).



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: What is your appeal? (9/30/2011 8:46:57 PM)

Hello,

What is THE appeal to being a Domina is that I like a man who is caring, considerate, and unselfish. So a submissive male who feels fulfilled in pleasing and serving Me is the ultimate euphoria, high, rush, etc. I get as much out of it as he does. It is similar to how you feel on your Birthday when your man gives you gifts of what you like, takes you out for your favorite food, and ends the night running you a bubble bath and massaging your feet or painting your toenails. he is showing you his love and that he respects and adores you.

I love a man who enjoys worshipping Me.

Hope this helps.



Succi -> RE: What is your appeal? (10/1/2011 11:36:50 AM)

Like a few others, I used to sub (mostly when I was a boy). When I finally decided the transsexual path was for me I respec'd all my points out of submission into that, and put the leftover ones in dominate *nods*

Actually one day, after I had -genuinely- started feeling like a girl, and being a bit of a fem-supremacist, was in a casual sexy play-time with my top of the time and said "I can do this "better"". I use the word better hesitantly, it's actually more like...I have an image, in my head, a perfect work of art I want to create in the context of my relationship for a single moment. I got fed up with waiting for dommes to wander into that "art space", so I took the reins and prefer steering the ship.

I started writing for similar reasons =P Something of a "if you want something done right..." mentality.

I think that's pretty much me in a nutshell. If I meet someone I like, within a few hours of knowing them I'll have that "frame" in my head and try to steer them towards it =P The Domme Succi is an artist who uses subs as canvases and her own body as the pen and mind as the brush.



ProlificNeeds -> RE: What is your appeal? (10/1/2011 9:13:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Succi

Like a few others, I used to sub (mostly when I was a boy). When I finally decided the transsexual path was for me I respec'd all my points out of submission into that, and put the leftover ones in dominate *nods*




I smell a bad gaming reference! [:D]



Succi -> RE: What is your appeal? (10/1/2011 9:28:47 PM)

Gasp, I have been discovered! Hehe ^_^



me4oru -> RE: What is your appeal? (10/7/2011 8:20:17 AM)

WOW.....IM A SADIST...but im a submissive male.....go figure,it confuses me also.My inner Dom only comes out with transgendered or fem boys,,,around A Woman i slip into servitude and submission ....i must be twisted .



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