Need Advice Please (Full Version)

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love2serveNhose -> Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 6:26:05 AM)

I am not sure how to handle a situation and need advice. If a sub discovers that a man claiming to be in the lifestyle is not what he claims, and has been creating a relationship of lies and deceit should this be exposed on the forum so that any potential subs may possibly see, read and be informed?
It is not out of revenge..that I ask the question, but rather concern that another sub may not see the red flags for what they are and become concerned before it is too late and they are hurt.
Advice and suggestions please?



Aileen68 -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 6:28:32 AM)

It's against the TOS to post something to that effect.
The thread would be removed.



love2serveNhose -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 6:40:42 AM)

Thank you..for the reply



juliaoceania -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 9:14:11 AM)

love2serve,

I have to say that people are responsible for seeing their own red flags. If this person is a predator and you have had experiences in which he harmed you or broke the law in some way you should have reported it to the cops. If this is internet drama where someone is lying about who they are and you think you should take it on yourself to save all of us, well this is the internet and people should suspend disbelief at their own peril.




amayos -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 9:32:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: love2serveNhose

I am not sure how to handle a situation and need advice. If a sub discovers that a man claiming to be in the lifestyle is not what he claims, and has been creating a relationship of lies and deceit should this be exposed on the forum so that any potential subs may possibly see, read and be informed?
It is not out of revenge..that I ask the question, but rather concern that another sub may not see the red flags for what they are and become concerned before it is too late and they are hurt.
Advice and suggestions please?



It's against the TOS to post something to that effect.
The thread would be removed.



And thank goodness for that. If a voice for warnings and so-called references and personal attacks was sanctioned openly in any community it would be a disaster of untold abuse; I have had my fair share of souls who have crossed my path and turned to vitriol over something as banal as my profile content, or a few words shared in e-mail or over the phone. You may not be compatible with a certain person, and may not even agree with their methods or doctrine, but it certainly does not give you the right to become their judge, jury and executioner where others are concerned.

It's funny. I just got done commenting in another thread about a scenario of scandal within a BDSM community event where the reputations of others were wrongfully put on the line due to the ignorance of another, or so it was alleged. I think the subject addressed in your post—and the way collarme handles it—should apply to the "real world" BDSM community as well. What goes on between you and another stays between you and another.




mnottertail -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 9:43:39 AM)

I am with amayos, of course.

However; I gotta say, these things get handled in the slave network anyway, often to the detriment of otherwise good reputations.

Such is life,
Ron



texasbutterfly -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 10:43:35 AM)

i have  dealt with a few weirdos myself and knowing i couldn't do anything about it was very frustrating.

the best thing you can do for yourself is learn from the experience and try to be smarter next time.  as for the next girl he scams, its harsh, but she is in the same boat.  we all have to learn somehow.

it makes us better in the end...at least that is the way i am going to choose to look at it...<grin>

*one of these days, i am going to slow down and learn how to type*



PAVANE -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 1:13:36 PM)

Although what u suggest is a very good idea, it wouldnt b practical. For how we would know the sub was telling the truth on here?



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 8:45:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: love2serveNhose

I am not sure how to handle a situation and need advice. If a sub discovers that a man claiming to be in the lifestyle is not what he claims, and has been creating a relationship of lies and deceit should this be exposed on the forum so that any potential subs may possibly see, read and be informed?
It is not out of revenge..that I ask the question, but rather concern that another sub may not see the red flags for what they are and become concerned before it is too late and they are hurt.
Advice and suggestions please?



It's against the TOS to post something to that effect.
The thread would be removed.



And thank goodness for that. If a voice for warnings and so-called references and personal attacks was sanctioned openly in any community it would be a disaster of untold abuse; I have had my fair share of souls who have crossed my path and turned to vitriol over something as banal as my profile content, or a few words shared in e-mail or over the phone. You may not be compatible with a certain person, and may not even agree with their methods or doctrine, but it certainly does not give you the right to become their judge, jury and executioner where others are concerned.

It's funny. I just got done commenting in another thread about a scenario of scandal within a BDSM community event where the reputations of others were wrongfully put on the line due to the ignorance of another, or so it was alleged. I think the subject addressed in your post—and the way collarme handles it—should apply to the "real world" BDSM community as well. What goes on between you and another stays between you and another.


...I have to agree with Amayos on this.It is the business only between the two in the relationship.Your opinion is just that...your opinion.We are adults and we will all make and form our own opinions, usually based on what we see,experience,or accept.....be well...Tempting



lisa1978 -> RE: Need Advice Please (5/23/2006 9:55:57 PM)

It a slippery and fatal slope to list names of people that one person feels is not worthy. What are the person's reporting credibility? What if every person reported anybody who did them wrong? Just not worth it to go down that path.

Your online you are going to get the fakes and liars. Part of the price unfortunately. Stay positive and move on.



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