FirmhandKY
Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
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FR:
Before anyone starts calling me goody-two-shoes ...
I've been involved with plenty of flame wars here, and on other forums. I am not guiltless nor perfect by any means.
But I do attempt to adhere to a couple of different strategies when it comes to such stuff.
If you know much about game theory, I'm a proponent of using the "tit for tat with forgiveness" when it comes to unreasonable posters. What this translates to in the forums is more like "forgiveness with tit for tat". In other words, I generally try to ignore all the little slights, barbs and insults if I'm trying to actually engage in a conversation.
Occasionally, however, there may be a poster or two who simply does not wish to do anything but insult, bait and flame.
I classify them as either a "possible human being" or "damaged beyond reach" in my mind. "Damaged beyond reach" isn't a classification I arrive at quickly, either, but when I do ... they go on hide, or I simply do not read or respond to anything they have to say (much).
If they are a "possible human being", I attempt a few olive branches. I attempt to find some area of commonality, some connection. Sometimes that works, sometimes it works temporarily.
When it doesn't work, or when it doesn't work well enough, I'll go on the attack.
I'll watch them post (not stalking, just paying close attention to them when they are in a thread that I'm involved or interested in) and wait until they do or say something that I am very confident that I can prove them on the wrong side of the facts and get them dead-to-rights. Then I pour it on ... but usually slowly, giving them rope enough.
When they go with their usual BS insults, I counter-attack, in a way and method and with considered wording that gets their attention. Whether or not they intend to do so, many people almost automatically assume that a failure to respond to a personal insult is showing weakness (bad assumption, but often unconscious).
When I attack, I attempt to be both "cool as a cucumber" and as pointed as I can. Then I back off (sometimes after one or two more post, where I show disregard and contempt for anything they have to say, but no direct insults).
Then I wait a while, and attempt again to find some commonality. Occasionally, I have to attack again, and sometimes again.
Ron was probably my most difficult subject to reach, since I've been on the board. 
My current project is Awareness. We've already had one dustup in the "Random" forum, in a thread that was pulled. The last before that was flcouple, who I eventually just put on hide.
My goal isn't to harm or hurt. My goal is to open up communications and get past the "forum face" that many people adopt and actually get to know them.
It's one of the reasons that we are planning the P&R Summit in Las Vegas: I think - despite the forum acrimony - that most long term posters here are pretty good people, and I'd like to extend our perceptions of each other as individuals and human beings.
There. You have some of my secrets and an understanding of how and why I sometimes post the way I do.
This is powerful knowledge. Don't abuse it. 
Firm
_____________________________
Some people are just idiots.
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RE: Hmmm..."An update on Posting Style in this cat... - 
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