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Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 11:24:59 AM

caitlyn

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Joined: 12/22/2004
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... where people were talking about how to find submissives? I wonder how many guys know that they can actually find attractive submissives at strip clubs?

Now, I know what you're going to say ... that all the girls there are just looking at your wallet (trust me, I've had this conversation with at least a dozen guys), and that all those girls are money grubbing, drug addict losers ... etc, etc, etc ...

Now it's true that you will find exactly those types ... but it's equally true that you will find quite a few that work there because the pay is good ... like enough to actually justify the gas cost to actually drive to work.

I think it's worth a try. I have some friends that are dancers and submissives, and they are pretty cool people .... not at all golddiggers. They are just girls with bills to pay. My best friend tells me that lots of the nicer girls that work there, are at least mentally submissive.

Just informational ... use it, ignore it, whatever.

Post #: 1

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 11:31:47 AM

Slipstreme

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Knowing your posts Caitlyn, it is hard to tell what is jest and what is informative.

Seriously though:
I wouldn't know, never been to a strip club, although I do know there are plenty of strippers who are working because the pay is good or because they like the job, not because they are "dirty lil hoes", or looking for their next joint.

I would fathom, you might find a couple potential Mistresses (Masters if you are after the male strippers) there too. For some, working in a job where your sole purpose may be to please clients, might have them seek the other side of the D/s coin in their private life.

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Post #: 2

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 11:32:15 AM

MsMacComb

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From: My Mothers womb.
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You may well be correct but one potential problem with strippers is that they can't have any marks on their bodies.

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RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 2:55:24 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
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Make-up. . . lots of make-up.

If I was a stripper I do not think that I would want to be involved with a guy who picked-up girls at strip clubs. It seems to be about on par with picking up girls at AA meetings.

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to MsMacComb)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 2:59:39 PM

caitlyn

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Joined: 12/22/2004
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Me ... jest?

Actually, it was serious advice that stemmed from a conversation I had with some friends. I posted it because of all the posts we had over the last few days about the ills of meeting people online and crummy lifestyle groups that only draw sensation players.

Consider it a public service.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 3:11:08 PM

caitlyn

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Joined: 12/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche
If I was a stripper I do not think that I would want to be involved with a guy who picked-up girls at strip clubs. It seems to be about on par with picking up girls at AA meetings.

Can I color you clueless?

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 3:20:40 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I think of it as being on par with a woman who tries to pick up her gynecologist...lol. But that is just me and I could be wrong..etc...lol

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Post #: 7

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 3:27:37 PM

petwolf22

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Many are mentally submissive because of the way they've been treated by men....boyfriends at home who won't work or berate them for not coming home with enough money. Male managers who do nothing when the girls are mistreated by customers, and male customers who dangle a dollar in front of them and say "That's all you're gonna do?" Putting up with men doing certain things they shouldn't because if not, the $20 goes to the willing girl on the other stage.

Not to say that they are all like that, but i've made sacrifices in my job and sometimes feign submission as a matter of money. (Frankly i'd prefer to submit to those i choose, and those who do not attempt to abuse that fact.) The fact remains that for the most part dancers work to indulge someone's fantasy, which is having a girl indulge his every whim. Occasionally, the submissive boys come in and most of the dancers don't know how to handle them. Fetishes are easy, a true submissive not so much.

i've experienced it firsthand for 4 years.

< Message edited by petwolf22 -- 5/23/2006 3:29:56 PM >

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 3:36:35 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I strongly disagree.... "mentally submissive" has NOTHING to do with being abused. They have nothing to do with each other. Being submissive does not mean you have been mentally broke down in any way... what you are describing is an abused personality, which has nothing to do with SSC BDSM, in which both parties negotiate the limits within a relationship. Someone has to be a self aware person to be SSC in my book.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 5/23/2006 3:38:10 PM >

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Post #: 9

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 3:39:44 PM

petwolf22

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an abused personality that manifests itself as submission then. Not to say it's at all right, or an accurate depiction of what submission should really be. Just saying that perceived submission in strippers often has a negative basis.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 3:47:02 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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I guess it's guite possible that you'll find some of them are there because they are exhibitionists, something that I find most submissives to be.

They may also be there because, as Slipstreme notes, they enjoy bringing pleasure to people.

Add that to the fact that they're unlikely to be the conservative, traditional people, and it seems as though yes, you might find a high percentage of kinksters among the exotic dancer community.

Interesting thought, Caitlyn. (Love the mug-shot avatar! LOL)

Cin

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RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 4:11:44 PM

Chaingang

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Joined: 10/24/2005
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Funny.

I hate strip clubs.

Taking Caitlyn's suggestion as good advice I wonder how to go from "client" to "friend" with a woman whose main interest has to be you placing bills in her bra straps and into her g-string. If I were a woman at a strip club I'd certainly try to maintain a client only relationship with anyone I might meet there. I can't see how a man that frequents strip clubs is good "partner" or "master" material. The whole idea is very alien to me. It's sort of like saying that call girls make good wives or lovers. Some might - the rest have a job to do and keep you at arms length. And I can't claim that it's any different than what I would do if I were them.

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Post #: 12

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 4:48:52 PM

Soquili

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: michigan
Status: offline

I used to "work" in several clubs where nude/partial nude dancers could be found. Most of the dancers were there to make money, a very few enjoyed the dancing to the point they wouldn't have cared about a -slight- pay cut, others were there simply as a job, just like I was. The only real difference was that they danced for the customers and I kept them off the stage and off the dancers when they didn't let them go back to work, or got pushy, or..

Some few had SO issues, most knew where they worked and had little or no problem with it. The dancers who had abuse problems tended to float in and out of the clubs I worked so I can't really address the mindset they had. The regular dancers used to be fairly non-submissive in general, most were like any random sampling of healthy, well excercised women you might meet anywhere. After the last job I got away from the club scene, but I can't recall more than twice that anyone ever managed to "pick up" any of the dancers. One was a breakfast date (fairly common), and the other was already known to the folks at the club as a "safe" person, and not some random drunk who managed to bs the girl. Never doubt that there are folks in the clubs (the decent ones anyway) that watch out for the dancers/bartenders/wait staff/etc. or that the girls discuss things you tell them. We escorted each and every person who worked in the club to thier car and made sure they got off safely every single night, and we never had a problem. Maybe we were just lucky for a few years? Who knows?

I used to find it funny to listen to the discussions of "what the guy at table 4 offered, if only I would go out with him." Oddly enough they never had whatever was on offer at hand, it was always at home (with the wife/SO?) and they never wanted to have the girls drop by during the days..wonder why not? ;)

That said I -did- see a couple of collars on the dancers.. and once on a customer, he had to explain to the girl why he was wearing it, she was very amused. ;D

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Post #: 13

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 5:07:58 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
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That's what Dermablend (http://www.dermablend.com/) is for. Dancers swear by it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

You may well be correct but one potential problem with strippers is that they can't have any marks on their bodies.

(in reply to MsMacComb)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 8:01:35 PM

petwolf22

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Joined: 9/5/2005
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i've worked in several different clubs for 4 years and understand the atmospheres very well. The clubs where they don't allow things to go on and there isn't an expectation of anything else, great. The clubs where standards have been set for years because of poor investment in managers, and other male staff, and clubs who as a rule of thumb push the envelope, we see a lot more of the problems going on. Clubs in general are becoming more and more what a woman is willing to do for a dollar (i think in part due to the proliferation of massage parlors, full body massage, escorts etc.--we used to have a massage parlor right next door)--no one can tell me i haven't experienced that and haven't watched an inept male staff do nothing about it. Lucky you you had a great place.

That was my point that many dancers have an attitude of submission about them, but it's based largely on their environment and not a true nature. There are some out there (raising hand) but i just don't believe there are any higher percentage of TRUELY submissive women working in strip clubs than any other environment.

i apologize, i'm just very defensive about these things.

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 8:23:11 PM

Dustyn

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Joined: 4/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche
If I was a stripper I do not think that I would want to be involved with a guy who picked-up girls at strip clubs. It seems to be about on par with picking up girls at AA meetings.

Can I color you clueless?

ROTFLMAO

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Post #: 16

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 8:46:05 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I work part time as a stripper doing 2-3 shifts a week. I intentionally became one after coming out of a M/s relationship that did not work. I recognized some things I do not like about myself when part of my submissive and sexual needs are not being met. I am not saying I do not like the money but I do not need it to live OK.

For me stripping helps me quench my sexual desires by having a place for my exhibitionism. It also helps out in the slave area because all you are is an object when doing it. Quite simply working a shift that is exhausting and the end of the night you want nothing to do with anything sexual. To me this is a lot safer than picking up random guys to have sex with and vanilla boyfriends do nothing for me anymore and they get too clingy at my age.

Now to contradict myself. I am NOT reccomending all unowned subs and slaves try it. I n fact I would say no way. Really not for 99% of any type of women.

As far as meeting submissive women that are strippers, I would say that is a very long shot. I despise stereo typing but most strippers are either in strong lesbian mode (lesbian or bisexual not wanting men at current time) or submissive yes, but the emotionally unstable come from abusive family and have abusive boyfriends types that have not figure out how to break the cycle.

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 8:49:46 PM

Arpig

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From: Increasingly further from reality
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Having met, casually, quite a number of strippers in a non-work situation (one of my close friends is a DJ at a club, so many of the girls come to his house parties, etc.) I have to say that as far as men are concerned, the majority of them are NOT submissive, or at least make a point of not appearing so. However quite a number of them seem to be submissive towards women...so maybe its the mistresses who should be checking out the local clubs

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RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 9:04:32 PM

Kirei

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I have a question Caitlyn? Would the women there be attracted to a pre-op TS? I bet that is something you've never brought up with your dancer friends in conversation.

Koneko

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Post #: 19

RE: Do you remember all those posts ... - 5/23/2006 9:43:20 PM

Estring

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I'll bet that many of the guys online looking for subs are also frequenting strip clubs and striking out there too.

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Post #: 20

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