RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger...

RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

voidbrat -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 6:44:57 PM)
you bring up a good point. the ability to empathize is often detrimental to people with high status occupations. an emotionally aware submissive might choose to strike a balance between a forceful personality and the capacity for care and concern that often goes out the window for super-alpha types. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I've known several captains of industry, heads of minor states, ambassadors etc. None of whom I would have allowed to run my life. They had no empathy. And they believed they could buy what they wanted which included love. You can buy sex, you can't buy love. You can buy medicine, you can't buy health. You can buy servants but not real friends. The nicest in the bunch were the two ambassadors. But they tended not to do the work required to keep their relationships in good health. And none of them ever had time for their children. I judge people by their abilities as parents. When you promise to go to the dance recital and then cancel, you're lying to that child and are uncaring about her. Which makes me have no respect for you. No thanks. Plus in this economy, who isn't suffering?

Hisprettybaby -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 6:45:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: voidbrat are subs attracted to money? to power? or are they attracted to force of personality even if the guy with the strongest personality isn't always the guy with the highest status? I would say that, either as a sub or a Domme(switch here), I'm attracted to personality and what makes a person an individual, rather than any amount of money or status. ~Hisprettybaby~

DesFIP -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 6:47:17 PM)
You seem to think that being a submissive trumps being a mother. It doesn't. If you can't treat your own kids properly, that's equivalent to stiffing the waitress at the coffee shop because the pot wasn't done brewing. It just shows you to be a bad person not worth associating with.

voidbrat -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 6:51:22 PM)
actually i pretty explicitly said that was a legitimate reason to choose not to be with someone. not actually sure how you misread me there. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You seem to think that being a submissive trumps being a mother. It doesn't. If you can't treat your own kids properly, that's equivalent to stiffing the waitress at the coffee shop because the pot wasn't done brewing. It just shows you to be a bad person not worth associating with.

Missokyst -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 7:20:35 PM)
Most of the guys I have been intimate have been laid back type of guys.. until they are not. The one that was strict, always wanting his way, ect ect, I married. EGAD, 30 Yrs ago I said, "never gonna make that mistake again." And I never did. Guys that are always on the offensive are not necessarily alpha. They may be insecure in their own space and need outward dominance so they don't feel puny. quote: ORIGINAL: voidbrat well when i say "beta" i mean more laid back, and more likely to just let things pass instead of trying to control every situation.

UtterMayhem -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 9:11:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel They must be successful in their lives, if they are going to call themselves dom and/or masters to me, they are held by me to a higher standard and that dominance, mastery etc is utilized throughout their lives not just in a relationship. But then, i also look for an alpha male. To me, the man i am attracted to is a "power" type man, he is power and to me that translates to he is a major leader in his life and to everyone around him, not just his relationship. I have a quote i fully believe a Man who will be my Master possesses this concet. To me, i am looking for men older than me and to me a man in his late 40s and early fifties should have their lives together and be able to determine whether they are successful at their lives. To me, if they answer no, then they have no business trying to control someone elses. Many people don't like this stance or concept, but in the end, they don't have too. When a Man is my Master, he is held to, by me, expectations and standards a lot higher than he would be if he was just the average joe boyfriend. He exudes confidence, i, as a woman, know He possesses more than confidence; He possesses power. Power that comes not from practice, but that formed as a building block of his character *If he possess the above concept, it shows in his life throughout. It may not be fair but in the end, life isn't fair.* *angel* I agree ....To call yourself dominant is not having leather pants and a funny hat .....If your not dominant in your job ,,, general life ,,, Have it together financially your not a dom .... even if you are the best gas jockey LMAO

Endivius -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 11:12:55 PM)
By your logic the soldiers making 42k a year would be less dominant than the Corporate CEO making 424k a year. Got news for you princess, money doesn't have a damn thing to do with being a dominant or sucessfull. I can assure you from personal experience, I get far more attention in uniform than in a suit.

DeviantlyD -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/2/2011 11:43:57 PM)
It's "you're", not "your"!!! I wish I had a nickle for every time I've seen that oh so obvious error. I'd be very wealthy by now.

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 1:14:00 AM)
quote: but in a capitalist, status oriented society what is there other than material success or the ability to wield power when it comes down to it? The ability to lead the life one wants to, be that one of material wealth or one of spiritual contemplation.

RaspberryLemon -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 2:22:17 AM)
I have always found the "alpha-beta" analogy to be never useful and an unfortunate mockery of human psychology. It's much too over-simplified--implying two sides of a coin and nothing more, ignoring the seemingly endless essentials of what defines a person. You simply cannot just lump humans--complex creatures as they are--into those two groups that never seem to take into account the actual substance of the person as a whole. That, and no one can ever agree on what defines an "alpha" or a "beta." quote: ORIGINAL: voidbrat are subs attracted to money? to power? or are they attracted to force of personality even if the guy with the strongest personality isn't always the guy with the highest status? I am attracted to power, yes. But. Power is subjective. To me, power has nothing to do with money or status. It has to do with the actual character of the person and how they handle themselves and what life throws at them. It has much more to do with the strength of character and personality than anything else. The feeling that their presence exudes confidence, determination and direction--to me, that is power. And I will mention success, but as I said in my previous post a man is successful when he is happy, leading a healthy life, stable, and following his passions--these things all point to character, not money or status.

AdorkableAiley -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 3:06:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UtterMayhem quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel They must be successful in their lives, if they are going to call themselves dom and/or masters to me, they are held by me to a higher standard and that dominance, mastery etc is utilized throughout their lives not just in a relationship. But then, i also look for an alpha male. To me, the man i am attracted to is a "power" type man, he is power and to me that translates to he is a major leader in his life and to everyone around him, not just his relationship. I have a quote i fully believe a Man who will be my Master possesses this concet. To me, i am looking for men older than me and to me a man in his late 40s and early fifties should have their lives together and be able to determine whether they are successful at their lives. To me, if they answer no, then they have no business trying to control someone elses. Many people don't like this stance or concept, but in the end, they don't have too. When a Man is my Master, he is held to, by me, expectations and standards a lot higher than he would be if he was just the average joe boyfriend. He exudes confidence, i, as a woman, know He possesses more than confidence; He possesses power. Power that comes not from practice, but that formed as a building block of his character *If he possess the above concept, it shows in his life throughout. It may not be fair but in the end, life isn't fair.* *angel* I agree ....To call yourself dominant is not having leather pants and a funny hat .....If your not dominant in your job ,,, general life ,,, Have it together financially your not a dom .... even if you are the best gas jockey LMAO So by this logic, if you aren't submissive in your job and general life you aren't submissive. Heh that's funny I could have sworn I was a sub... Ailey the dominant submissive

LillyBoPeep -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 4:03:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon I am attracted to power, yes. But. Power is subjective. To me, power has nothing to do with money or status. It has to do with the actual character of the person and how they handle themselves and what life throws at them. It has much more to do with the strength of character and personality than anything else. The feeling that their presence exudes confidence, determination and direction--to me, that is power. And I will mention success, but as I said in my previous post a man is successful when he is happy, leading a healthy life, stable, and following his passions--these things all point to character, not money or status. agreed 100%

kiwisub12 -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 4:09:21 AM)
My first Sir was chosen for his personality and dominance. He was a dj , and a damn good one, and didn't have a penny in the bank. But his bills were paid,he had a house and the mortgage was paid - and by the OPs lights, wasn't a sucess because he wasn't a captain of industry. BUT - he did what he wanted, when he wanted and because he wanted. He also enjoyed what he did. Tell me how that is less dominant than someone who keeps bankers hours and routinely works 50 hours a week. Money is a poor measure of dominance. I'm thinking someone with their shit together working at MickieD's is way more attractive than an unhappy, overworked, overpaid person who hasn't the time to pay attention to me grins. After all, its all about me, and the time we spend together - not his bankaccount. I'm as shallow as the next person, and love presents and fine dining - but not at the expense of the time we spend together. I'm just lucky enough that my sweetie is able to do all of that and more - time and fun together - because he is a man who has his priorities in order - and work isn't the top of the list.

AdorkableAiley -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 6:54:34 AM)
C isn't ritch, I don't need ritch. I need not to worry if next months bills can be payed but that really isn't my concern and it really isn't a problem either. He IS a good, sweet, kind man who has a good job doing something he loves with good potential for promotion should he want it. I would still think he was amazing if he never took it. I have had a Dom that lived in mommy's basment and was unemployed, he was still an amazing person who I am still friend with, we didn't work out but that had nothing to do with his ocupation or lack there of. I have actually had a few Doms like this, in my much younger years (cuz I'm sooooo old now[:)].) When I first met C, I was talking with another Dom who is a lawyer, we hit it off well but he never had time for me. C makes time every night to at least talk with me no matter how tired he is. He even lets me stall him when he wants to go to bed, I can usually weasle an extra 15 minutes. No money in the world could buy the feeling this gives me. You can call him a beta if that suits you but I'm not sticking around because no one esle wants me or my bagage is to heavy to leave with. I had several other options and I chose him because he had the entire package! Ailey

LadyHibiscus -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 7:40:48 AM)
How many of these captains of industry ARE there? There can only be one CEO per company, and many many others doing the rest of the work. Mr Kissinger may have been right when he said power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, but are there enough of these chiefs to go around? I think not.

OsideGirl -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 7:43:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: voidbrat but do you take into consideration the fact that if somebody is working at a video store or pumping gas they probably can barely run their own lives? In this economy, how could you tell? We have 12% unemployment. Master had people with PHDs applying to pump gas. So, the answer would be not in what they're doing now.....

OsideGirl -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 7:48:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx I don't necessarily go for the "alpha-male" who pounds his chest and calls attention to his "power", but rather, the guy with quiet confidence, and the success that is behind that confidence. Actually, those that I view as being alpha's don't pound their chests and demand to acknowledge their power. To me alpha's possess quiet confidence, and the success that is behind that confidence. They're the guys that the 'Nillas give way to, but have no idea why. I guess it depends on your definition of success. Before Master my ex was a multi-millionaire. Owned a few companies, a very lucrative patent and had written three books. While he's a wonderful person, he had difficulty holding a relationship together. After 6 years, I got tired of the merry go round and got off. Master runs a blue collar business, we're solidly middle class, stable, live in a cute house in a great neighborhood and we're still madly in love after more than 11 years together.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 8:27:23 AM)
The OP was not really talking about "captains of industry" Vs " gas jockeys" in his initial question. Someone can have an extremely successful career that is important and satisfying without being a CEO. My love is a biologist, and has worked everywhere from fishing boats to Sea World. He is eligible to retire now, but he doesn't want to because his job is so fun. He is far from a CEO, but he is an Alpha, just a soft spoken one. I would not find it much of a turn on to ask my SO about their day and get a rundown of what happened at the Shell station. I do find it a turn on to talk to my man about his day at work, because it is nearly always interesting, and I consider his work important. It also doesn't hurt that he is comfortable financially.

voidbrat -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 8:34:49 AM)
this is specious. why would you assume soldiers are "more dominant" than ceos? ceos give orders and people jump, someone else gives a soldier an order and the soldier jumps. soldiers especially us soldiers who are not officers are professional sadistic submissives quote: ORIGINAL: Endivius By your logic the soldiers making 42k a year would be less dominant than the Corporate CEO making 424k a year. Got news for you princess, money doesn't have a damn thing to do with being a dominant or sucessfull. I can assure you from personal experience, I get far more attention in uniform than in a suit.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: now i aint sayin she a gold digger... (10/3/2011 8:37:27 AM)
I haven't read this whole thread all the way through, but I find the concept of money=dominant pretty amusing. When I was Topping fairly regularly, I had a few fairly regular bottoms to work with. They were all high powered individuals. One was a politician who liked to be a puppy, another was a news anchor, who liked to wear diapers (I never indulged that particular fetish) and one was so wealthy there is a major city with a huge library named for his family. In fact, most of the other guys I Topped were CEO's, CFO's etc. They were good at what they did, I guess, but they weren't inherently dominant. They craved submission. I've never cared about how much money a person makes, or how high powered their career choice. In fact, I've always been as friendly to the janitor as I was the Executive. My father was a man with the highest integrity I know, he retired from the military at a decent rank which most would consider rather high in the Authority realm. He ended up working as a plumber, after he retired. He was every bit the man of integrity and self-controled dominance as a plumber, just as he was as a Military Officer. I always measure dominance by the example my father set, fair or not, that's just how I am. Integrity, empathy and laugh lines are generally what I measure a man's worth by. Doesn't have frack all to do with his payscale.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875