Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY?

Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (Full Version)

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IrishMist -> Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 11:46:39 AM)
I have to ask...that horrible curiousity again you know..[&:] Those of you in the dominant position...WHY is it necessary to give your submissives/slaves tasks/assignments, etc? What purpose does it serve? I read the answers on here when someone asks about suggestions and all I can think is 'why is this necessary?" I am not belittling anyone who DOES do this; I just am curious as to WHY you do it. [:o] It confuzzles me, and I don't like being confuzzled.

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 11:51:51 AM)
From the submissive side-- I get them do I'll go away and leave the Dom, without feeling like I'm being told to go away.. From the Dom side.. I like to get things done, and I like them to be ready for me..

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 12:02:38 PM)
Are you asking why I tell him(the livein) what to do? If so the answer is because he wouldn't do a damn thing if I didn't....and I know I'm right because when I read the question outloud and than answered it he started laughing. If you are asking why I send some others out on pointless "missions" Well to honest most of the time it is so they will go away for awhile and leave me alone.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 12:49:19 PM)
He doesn't give me things to do just to have me do things. If he asks me to do something, it means he needs it done. So I do it. I wouldn't be a match with someone who came up with tasks just to remind me of my place or to make himself feel all domly and shit. I'm always aware of my place and of his dominance. I don't need tasks and assignments to emphasis it.

IrishMist -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 12:54:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain Are you asking why I tell him(the livein) what to do? If so the answer is because he wouldn't do a damn thing if I didn't....and I know I'm right because when I read the question outloud and than answered it he started laughing. If you are asking why I send some others out on pointless "missions" Well to honest most of the time it is so they will go away for awhile and leave me alone. LMAO I have never had a relationship where someone told me to 'do this, do that, and do this' so that I would think about them...from what I read on here from those who assign tasks, assignments, etc...the tasks all seem to be...well...stupid and idotic...and I am having a hard time trying to understand why a person would assign such things...what motivates them to do so? I know a lot of these task assigners lol are in online relationships...and maybe, that's the reason for it...but still...what is the motivation behind it? If I take some examples from the boards here, one of the most common 'tasks' seems to be going without underwear. Why? What is the purpose behind telling someone to go without underwear? What does it accomplish? Or these ones who tell their submissives/slaves to wear butt plugs...umm..ok..this is an assignment?A task? What purpose does this serve? The whole concept just has me totally confused.

myotherself -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 12:58:53 PM)
In my r/l relationship he tells me to do stuff because it needs to be done. He knows I'm busy, I know he's busy, so there's no point in creating extra work, just for 'something to do'. Some of the things may be sexual, but they're always with an end-focus in sight that will benefit both of us (and no, I'm not going into details, lol!) They may be non-sexual, and again stuff that will benefit me/him/both of us at the end of it.

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 1:05:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself In my r/l relationship he tells me to do stuff because it needs to be done... This. And better he spending his time doing it than I. [:D]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 1:06:55 PM)
If I need stuff done, I issue my orders for the day. Busy work? Not my thing. Now, I might tell them to read a certain book, or watch a movie, so we can talk about it, or something along those lines. I am confuzzled by many things others do! I am interested in hearing their why's and wherefors, but I am not usually less confused by the explanation.

lizi -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 1:18:51 PM)
In my present relationship I'm asked to do things that serve a purpose and I am glad to do them, I like having structure. However, if I were asked to do things that were without a purpose I'd lose interest in doing it pronto and also lose my respect for the man giving me the task. I've been on the receiving end of the useless variety in the past, it just makes me feel that someone is issuing them to playact what they think is Dominant, or that they want gratuitous ego stroking. I'm not interested in participating in either of those two things.

Kaliko -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 1:41:46 PM)
I've been thinking about this lately, myself. My thoughts on this are shifting as I speak. As a submissive - In the beginning - when I was first exploring BDSM in general - I think that having "tasks" to perform was a way for me to explore how I felt with the idea of my submission, without getting too heavy into the deep meaning of things. I look on it now as fun play. Necessary play, for me. I was testing the waters with my feelings about various BDSM activities, not just tasks given in a D/s dynamic. As my former partner and I both settled on a certain type of dynamic, and realized that my service was what appealed to both of us more than, say, bondage, the assignments became only necessary ones for one or both of our benefit. Random assignments to prove my comfort with the idea of submission were over. We were both new to embracing a D/s relationship and needed to move on from just titillation. Together, we approached it on a more meaningful level, though in retrospect, it still lacked the intensity and depth of submission I was looking for. That went on for the duration of my last D/s relationship. Now? I do believe that I am simply made to obey (the right man). My own growth simply wouldn't allow for an unnecessary play task to be anything more than silliness. And I suspect that if I were to enter a relationship with someone with at least the level of experience I have, that perhaps "tasks" wouldn't even be an issue. It may well have been because both my partner and I were exploring it together. But going through that exploration stage a few years back was helpful for me and for my partner at the time as we were feeling things out. Now I know what I am capable of, as it is all behind me now, and can move forward with some sort of higher starting ground than just curious exploration. Hopefully, the same was achieved for my former dominant. As I said, my thoughts have shifted - and still are shifting - on this a bit. Being dominant-less kind of adds a certain clarity. But, to sum...tasks and assignments served me well (ha ha - get it?) as far as exploration and feeling things out, but that was only early on in my own curiosity.

JanahX -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 2:20:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist I have to ask...that horrible curiousity again you know..[&:] Those of you in the dominant position...WHY is it necessary to give your submissives/slaves tasks/assignments, etc? What purpose does it serve? I read the answers on here when someone asks about suggestions and all I can think is 'why is this necessary?" I am not belittling anyone who DOES do this; I just am curious as to WHY you do it. [:o] It confuzzles me, and I don't like being confuzzled. For once I have to agree with Irishmist. I never got this shit either. What I normally think when I see people do this is... wow - these people have wayyyyy to much time on their hands. I guess Im just not that bored and prefer real life interaction. I mean - sure I get that this kind of thing might be fun for someone - but I really see it as unproductive. When I see it being used as a tool in a LDR to keep the relationship flowing - I wonder how sustainable can it be in the long run.

Tantriqu -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 2:24:12 PM)
If a sub can't accomplish a vanilla task that he's been set, he's thinking only with his hindbrain. Excellent for winnowing out the chaff, including the dumbasses and do-me bottoms.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 2:29:54 PM)
I would be willing to put money on it that for the most part those you have heard say that are all male. And I am also willing to bet I know why they do it. It is the idea of shame. The idea that women are programmed to feel shame if they don't do things like cover up their "bad" parts. As for my boys...they wouldn't care if I told them to walk around without their pants on. They don't wear underwear as it is.

fragilepieces -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 2:35:21 PM)
I've never understood it either---I am in a semi long distance relationship and I have never had a task or assignment. I probably would laugh if he asked me to. I think they were created so submissives had something to talk about in chat rooms and on message boards. And like Irish said so doms could feel all domly and stuff. Personally---it seems sort of dumbly to me.

thishereboi -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 3:29:11 PM)
It wasn't necessary in our house. I was always busy enough cooking, cleaning, going to work and taking care of my Lady. [:)]

littlewonder -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 3:31:48 PM)
When Master gives me assignments it's because he thinks I'm not learning whatever it is he feels I need to learn, to basically grind it into me until a lightbulb goes off in me and I go "duh". When he gives me tasks it's because something needs to be done and being his slave why should he have to do them? That's my job.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 3:57:02 PM)
As a submissive, if Daddy gives me something to do it's because he needs it done and wants me to do it. That's reason enough. As a Domme, I've given assignments so (1)my sub will really think and research something he's interested in & decide if he still wants to try it, (2)because I need some time to think before getting together the next time, (3)for a learning experience, and (4)because I need something done and a.he likes doing things for me and b.I don't have time to do whatever it is. I never have a sub do something without a good reason. ~Hisprettybaby~

avena -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 4:25:26 PM)
I have a set list of tasks that I'm expected to accomplish on my own every day, without direction from D. All of those tasks are pertinent to the training He feels is necessary for me. D also gives me separate tasks or assignments randomly. The last assignment I had pertained to finding information on certain stores in the vicinity of our hotel on our next vacation. It wasn't a 'make work' assignment. He hates wandering around aimlessly looking for things. And he knows that I'm good with web searches, so he set me the task of doing it. It made much more sense for me to do it. He also tends to give me tasks or assignments designed to test or push the edges of my boundaries and limits. My reactions to the tasks gives us a basis for further discussion, and gives him an idea of how far I've come in working on those boundaries and limits. Every task or assignment he gives me has a purpose. Sometimes I don't know what the purpose is until later, but I do know he always has a reason for the things he asks of me. I do have to say, if he ever gave me a task that was obviously 'make work' or 'go away and leave me alone for a bit', we'd be having words. I'm a big girl, I can handle being told that someone needs some alone time. Someone who didn't respect me enough to be able to just talk to me wouldn't be worthy of being my Master.

weaselwelder -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 4:25:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko I've been thinking about this lately, myself. My thoughts on this are shifting as I speak. As a submissive - In the beginning - when I was first exploring BDSM in general - I think that having "tasks" to perform was a way for me to explore how I felt with the idea of my submission, without getting too heavy into the deep meaning of things. I look on it now as fun play. Necessary play, for me. I was testing the waters with my feelings about various BDSM activities, not just tasks given in a D/s dynamic. As my former partner and I both settled on a certain type of dynamic, and realized that my service was what appealed to both of us more than, say, bondage, the assignments became only necessary ones for one or both of our benefit. Random assignments to prove my comfort with the idea of submission were over. We were both new to embracing a D/s relationship and needed to move on from just titillation. Together, we approached it on a more meaningful level, though in retrospect, it still lacked the intensity and depth of submission I was looking for. That went on for the duration of my last D/s relationship. Now? I do believe that I am simply made to obey (the right man). My own growth simply wouldn't allow for an unnecessary play task to be anything more than silliness. And I suspect that if I were to enter a relationship with someone with at least the level of experience I have, that perhaps "tasks" wouldn't even be an issue. It may well have been because both my partner and I were exploring it together. But going through that exploration stage a few years back was helpful for me and for my partner at the time as we were feeling things out. Now I know what I am capable of, as it is all behind me now, and can move forward with some sort of higher starting ground than just curious exploration. Hopefully, the same was achieved for my former dominant. As I said, my thoughts have shifted - and still are shifting - on this a bit. Being dominant-less kind of adds a certain clarity. But, to sum...tasks and assignments served me well (ha ha - get it?) as far as exploration and feeling things out, but that was only early on in my own curiosity. Pretty much this. Whether it's "sing the alphabet backwards while sucking on your big toe," "the dishes need doing" or "get me a soda" it's a quick, painless, not scary and more or less vanilla way of having a D&S interaction. As a dominant, I give tasks because it brings me pleasure to see them done. As someone who isn't a jackass, I only give tasks that need to be done and/or benefit both of us.

Missokyst -> RE: Assignments, tasks, etc...WHY? (10/2/2011 4:41:17 PM)
Interesting replies so far. Most of the time when I read the "tasks" sort of threads they inevidibly draw on sexual titilation activity. Keep panties off, wear short skirts, put a chastity device on, wear a butt plug, don't touch your cock, ect., are the sort of things I read when people are not mocking the OP. I always thought tasks were for people who were not doing this in real life most of the time. And were instead playing at mind games while living long distance.

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