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dh76513 -> Master, Dom, Player or Fake? (5/23/2006 4:23:23 PM)
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Greetings to All,
Several Masters/Sirs have emailed me requesting information on “Honor Training” (for Masters only) and I have had a few Slaves inquire about how one can differentiate a true Master from a fake or a player. Although many Masters may have some interesting and useful information regarding how to help those new to the lifestyle understand and differentiate among the Masters, Doms, players, and fakes, I think that many Slaves/Submissives are likely to offer the best insights. As such I have posted this thread on “Ask a Submissive/Slave” as to explore the submissive side. In addition, I have prepared a list of the proper traits or principles sought in honor training and wrote this in a manner that may satisfy both questions. I have attempted to make a small list here to note a few of the focus “traits” or principles taught in this structured training as these are not always obvious. Some of these you may have been heard before, but in my opinion a true Alpha male will make every effort to be consistent in the following actions:
· Treat all with respect, even while you cynically watch them. Everyone will fail at something, but less often when they feel they have a stake in keeping your respect. It makes most people try harder, especially your Slave.
· Lead by example. It is good for any Master to set high standards for his slut, but establish higher standards for yourself. Among Masters in the Old South Legion, we have a simple equation, Words + Actions = Honor.
· Resign yourself up front to doing more work in a Lifestyle relationship than anyone else. It's your job as a true Alpha and there is no cause for arrogance. Nobody ever does enough in a relationship, so don't get snippy. Yes, all good Alphas must learn to embody humility so get to work.
· Give praise generously, but not falsely. Accept praise graciously. You can share it, but never reject it, unless it is patently phony. It's good for people to lift up others, so give and take. Yet never be caught needing it.
· Always remember the “exchange” in a lifestyle relationship; safeguard and ensure its presence in TPE (Total Power Exchange). All too often I have seen “Masters” become selfish and egocentric to that point where their relationship is all one-sided. Remember low costs and high rewards and benefits keep people together. Why would anyone remain in a relationship with no benefits or rewards? This is unhealthy. So what is the “exchange” in TPE? Sexual validation (reward for the Alpha) in exchange for emotional validation (reward for the Slave).
· Persist. Persistence is the one Alpha virtue without which all others are meaningless. You are called to the doing, not the succeeding. The path is the effort and always placing your best foot forward is the privilege. Yet, celebrate any and every accomplishment and accept every failure.
· The leader always eats last. This principle is nothing more than making sure everyone else is taken care of first. Remember the Alpha male is truly both protector and provider. This applies to all physical comforts and most privileges. Be the one who needs them least, but works the hardest.
· Discipline should be effective for your whore and always benefit you. For example, if you are a Master, like I, who enjoys cuddling with your bitch then why make her sleep on the floor? This is senseless.
· A true Alpha male will never be consumed by jealousy. He strives to be in control of all his emotions in a productive manner. Jealousy represents deep seated insecurities and usually leads to irrational, unproductive behaviors. If you are a man who is controlled by his jealousy then stop fooling yourself because you are certainly not a true Alpha male.
· Never let the relationship bog down in the incidentals. Keep your eyes on the goals, missions, and what is really important; the method is the variable. The testimony is how you handle everything from a major disaster to a simple crisis.
· Never be abusive to your slut or anyone else. Abusive behavior is detrimental to any relationship. So, never punish your whore in anger and be fair and reasonable in your discipline. Losing control, especially over your own emotions, is never honorable and is certainly inconsistent with being an Alpha male.
· Be frank, even blunt, but tactful and never lower yourself to incivility. It's not dishonesty to repress laughter when you see your slut in a ridiculous outfit. It is wrong to falsely laud the outfit. Civility is the art of keeping back the truth no one needs to hear as well as talking the truth that everyone needs to hear. So, know your emotions and get in touch with the true you. How else can you be honest with others or yourself much less expect it from others?
· Organize. Seldom can you organize circumstances, so organize yourself. That's not to say you should be locked into one set of responses, but that you have tried to plan an appropriate response to any and every thing imaginable. Draw the lines before anyone yet has opportunity to cross them.
· Take the fall. Humbly accept the blame even when you could not possibly have prevented the bad outcome. All the more so when it really is your fault. Reject the blame only when it clearly benefits no one for you to take it. Stand your ground, but do it with honor. When you know you are right, never surrender. It really is the principle. Only you can release yourself from this one.
· Be human. Laugh, cry, shout, and whisper, "be all things to all men." Add drama when it helps. Do not take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh and poke fun at yourself before any else has a chance.
The list above is only some of the principles reinforced in Honor Training and may not be right for everyone. However, I am of the opinion that if you are a Master who demonstrates these characteristics in a lifestyle relationship you are likely a true Alpha male. And if you are a true Alpha, then you are likely to qualify for membership in the Old South Legion of Honorable Masters. Please note that I enjoy responding to any and all private emails, but try to use this thread to post your questions and statements because I am certain they will only add more value to our discussions. Also, I would like to hear from others as to their thinking on this entire issue of differentiating between a true Master and a fake? Thanks everyone ~ Sir.
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