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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Orgasm control (10/6/2011 6:37:47 AM)
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Orgasm control is one of those things that if done right, is a fantastic bonding experience. If done wrong, it's NOT. You could easily end up with a non-orgasmic sub.
Sooooooooooooo, OP, show this to your dom please.
The number one rule of orgasm control is: know (w/o a doubt) when your sub is about to climax.
Pay attention to all the little minor things that lead to an orgasm, as well as the ones that don't.
The important thing for a male dominant to understand about orgasm control in the female, is that the dom has to train himself. The female just goes along with his program and obeys.
Chose a orgasm command that your sub likes and will respond to. "Come for me" is a favorite.
In the beginning phases of orgasm control DO NOT do any orgasm withholding, any eding (bring to the edge of orgasm and then backing off), NONE of that. Start out with:
Once you are positive your sub is about to climax (in other words, it's happening with or w/o you), give the command.
If she doesn't come, you keep up stimulating activity and say it again (as if it's all part of the same command.). Realize you will never be good at orgasm control if you use any negative reinforcement whatsoever. It's all positive reinforcement.
Once you can predict your sub's orgasms 100% of the time, now you get to move on to some very mild edging. So bring her to the edge, back off (different things work for different people -- pain may back me off, a maso might come on the spot). Back off once. If she starts to come, give the command. If you can bring her back up, do so.
Rinse and repeat until you are really really good at getting her to back off once. And yeah, this takes time and infinite patience. It also takes LOTS of orgasms, so it's all good.
Once you have master the above, you can move on to withholding longer a/o edging 2-3 times. Few people will last past 3 times. Realize no matter how observant you are, she will come when you least expect it. Just give the command.
Many people into this type of control like to fool around with "don't come yet" which can be all yummy once you have orgasm control down and know it won't stop the climax in it's tracks. Be very very careful with this. Remember, subs like to be obedient. Loss of patience at this step could mean you have trained your sub NOT to come.
It has been my experience that all of the above training will be much easier of you can keep up a hot sexy conversation with your sub. Just enough to keep her out of deep sub space so she is actually aware of your commands.
Good luck to you both.
Chatte
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