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Orgasm control - 10/4/2011 11:12:11 PM   
AnastasiaJay


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/7/2010
Status: offline 		Hey guys,

As a sub I'm really into the idea of my Master not letting me cum -- but continuing to stimulate me regardless, just making me "hold it" and wait for permission. However, I find this physically impossible... I cum every time. Does anyone have any tips on how to control myself better? Particularly female subs. Thanks!
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RE: Orgasm control - 10/4/2011 11:22:43 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		Oragel?

Sorry, we don't do the "hold it" except to delay things a bit around here, we believe in frequent orgasming for all.

A clitoris is a terrible thing to waste.

(in reply to AnastasiaJay)
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RE: Orgasm control - 10/4/2011 11:59:43 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
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Ice Water



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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 8:14:09 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Stopping the sensation until it passes but im with Heather .... the more the better cause it makes me more fun lol

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 8:32:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He needs to pay better attention to the point where you can't stop it. And stop stimulating you at that point and letting it subside for a little before starting back up. Additionally a little pain just at that moment can delay it. 

The Man just keeps a wooden spoon around and gives me one whack on the inner thigh which will bring me back from the edge. A masochist I talked to years ago said she was trained not to cum without permission by having a rubber band snapped on her clit every time. For me that's too much pain to even contemplate, YMMV.


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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 8:40:01 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

A masochist I talked to years ago said she was trained not to cum without permission by having a rubber band snapped on her clit every time.


Holy Hell!!

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 8:55:03 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		I was told a story once about some friends of mine who were in the act of getting it on, and right before she could orgasm they knocked a plastic cup full of water onto her face (accidental, it was resting on the shelf on the headboard) but it SURE stopped her orgasm cold lemme tell you! She was so upset she was in tears apparently.
Try having him throw a glass of water in your face when you're about to climax, that might work! (and of course stop stimulation) you can't stop the inevitable if the stimulation is too intense.

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 9:12:05 AM   
BalltoySlave


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/8/2011
Status: offline 		Lol ... I wish I could tell you. As a guy, I usually cum once then I'm spent for quite a while (most times, but not always). So, what works for me is to get to the brink of orgasm then completely cease any further stimulation. Then when we resume, many times I can go on and on and not have an ejaculation for a long time.

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 8:44:06 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

I usually cum once then I'm spent for quite a while
<Spreads her pussy open and looks at her clit and thinks "I love you!!">

I am sooooooo glad I'm not a guy.

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/5/2011 11:59:49 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		yes orgasam control is possible for men as well as ladies. bringing one to the brink and maintaining it can be fun as well. how it is done is up to the one in cotrol. lessining the stimulus or distracting one from it with pain or other things.

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LadyPact

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 4:29:13 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		There are tantric exersizes men can do to control thier orgasms. It takes a lot of practice and a lot of effort. It stems from controling the abductis muscles in the penis, pubococcygeus. The same muscles that are used to control urination are the muscles used to ejaculate. The hardest part is to mastering the mental aspect of forcing the orgasm to flow from the base of the pelvis to the brain instead of out of the penis.


http://www.tantracourse.com/articles_01.html

http://www.sexcoaching.com/TantraTech4.php

There are a large number of books published for men and women alike about tantric activities to give much longer and more sustained orgasms and orgasm control. The Essence of Tantric Sexuality by Mark A Micheals and Patricia Johnson is the only book I have read on the subject. I'm quite certain there are others out there that may be better.

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Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 4:40:30 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		the OP was looking for responses from chicks; how did this end up as a thread about dudes? haha

i am interested in orgasm control as an element of overall control, but my only worry is what if something happens to the relationship and it ends? how do you go about fixing that level of control?
i agree with Des -- it seems like he needs to pay more attention ORRR you need to give him more feedback about the stages you're progressing through, so he can learn when you've hit the point of no return, and stop you BEFORE you get there. let him know if you think you're getting too close to the edge.




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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 5:22:58 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You're the car, and he's the driver.  The driver needs to do the controlling.

Have him bring you up to the point where you're about to come, and then back down.  Then add some pain such as nipple clamps, a sharp smack, etc.  Then he can bring you back up.  If he does this a few times, you will explode when he finally allows you to come.

He can also direct you not to come verbally, but he needs to understand that there's more to orgasm control than simply verbal messages.


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 5:24:53 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		he isn't going to know where that point is unless she tells him. =p as Domly as they may be, Doms still aren't mind readers. 

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Midwestern Girl

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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 5:36:05 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

he isn't going to know where that point is unless she tells him. =p as Domly as they may be, Doms still aren't mind readers. 


He can get adept at learning her body language.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 5:43:54 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		well things don't seem to be going all that well in that department.
Doms CAN learn from their subs; sometimes subs do have valuable input.


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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 6:37:47 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Orgasm control is one of those things that if done right, is a fantastic bonding experience. If done wrong, it's NOT. You could easily end up with a non-orgasmic sub.

Sooooooooooooo, OP, show this to your dom please.

The number one rule of orgasm control is: know (w/o a doubt) when your sub is about to climax.

Pay attention to all the little minor things that lead to an orgasm, as well as the ones that don't.

The important thing for a male dominant to understand about orgasm control in the female, is that the dom has to train himself. The female just goes along with his program and obeys.

Chose a orgasm command that your sub likes and will respond to. "Come for me" is a favorite.

In the beginning phases of orgasm control DO NOT do any orgasm withholding, any eding (bring to the edge of orgasm and then backing off), NONE of that. Start out with:
Once you are positive your sub is about to climax (in other words, it's happening with or w/o you), give the command.

If she doesn't come, you keep up stimulating activity and say it again (as if it's all part of the same command.). Realize you will never be good at orgasm control if you use any negative reinforcement whatsoever. It's all positive reinforcement.

Once you can predict your sub's orgasms 100% of the time, now you get to move on to some very mild edging. So bring her to the edge, back off (different things work for different people -- pain may back me off, a maso might come on the spot). Back off once. If she starts to come, give the command. If you can bring her back up, do so.

Rinse and repeat until you are really really good at getting her to back off once. And yeah, this takes time and infinite patience. It also takes LOTS of orgasms, so it's all good.

Once you have master the above, you can move on to withholding longer a/o edging 2-3 times. Few people will last past 3 times. Realize no matter how observant you are, she will come when you least expect it. Just give the command.

Many people into this type of control like to fool around with "don't come yet" which can be all yummy once you have orgasm control down and know it won't stop the climax in it's tracks. Be very very careful with this. Remember, subs like to be obedient. Loss of patience at this step could mean you have trained your sub NOT to come.

It has been my experience that all of the above training will be much easier of you can keep up a hot sexy conversation with your sub. Just enough to keep her out of deep sub space so she is actually aware of your commands.

Good luck to you both.

Chatte













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RE: Orgasm control - 10/6/2011 9:42:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There are physical cues that if he is observant, he could get to know. Some women flush when they orgasm. Back arching seems to precede it in many. And so on.

About what happens when a relationship ends? Like most learned behaviors, if it isn't reinforced it erodes. So she could imagine being given permission to help but in about six months it's pretty much gone.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Orgasm control - 10/14/2011 12:51:47 AM   
AnastasiaJay


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/7/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies, everyone, sorry I'm responding so late. I'll be sure to show Him the thread. All very good ideas, and sounds like a long, fun journey getting there, too. :)

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Orgasm control - 10/14/2011 6:08:37 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

A masochist I talked to years ago said she was trained not to cum without permission by having a rubber band snapped on her clit every time.


Sounds like a sure-fire way to create a non-orgasmic woman

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 20
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