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Endivius -> RE: dallas slave seeks mentor slave (10/5/2011 10:30:41 PM)
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Would you take it seriously if one of your girl friends asked you to teach her how to have a relationship with her man?
BDSM isn't just about kink, and even if your focus is TPE what you learn from someone else still may not be what your "master" is actually interested in. If anyone isn't taking this seriously it's you. The expectations being placed on you are unrealistic, and you should know this. The idea of BDSM might appeal to you, reality is far far different than fantasy.
Now if your "master" is asking you to learn about BDSM activities and wanting you to find ways to please him outside of fucking, that would be something HE needs to show you. A complete stranger will not be able to tell you if he likes corsets, high heels, beer waiting when he walks in the door, or an infinite other number of personal quirks he might have. The most you can learn from another submissive is how to serve thier Dominant, not how to serve yours.
Each relationship is different and each dynamic is different.
If your D is not willing to put the time and attention into teaching you what he wants and how he wants it, how do you possibly expect to have any sort of meaningfull relationship?
If your D isn't willing to tell you what pleases him or what he expects of a "slave" what kind of communication do you expect in this relationship?
If you really want to explore and learn what it means to be a submissive or slave, how do you know that the "teacher" you choose will have the same views about D/s relationships as your master?
Here is some generic advice that may be of some value to you :
Read the forums, all of them. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm this is a list of reading material to get you started. Keep in mind anything you read is not a "one true way" and many of the authors will differ in thier views, but reading is no substitute for real life.
Get to some munches. Munches are just vanilla meetings in the ordinary world with like minded people to get to know the people in your area, and learn from thier experience. There is no kinky games, special protocol, or playing done at munches (generally). To find a munch, start by looking http://www.collarchat.com/forumid_17/tt.htm. If you cannot find anything there, google your city, state/province, and the word MUNCH. If you still cannot find anything, head over to fetlife.com and make an account, there are lots of events listed there as well.
Welcome to CM, and good luck.
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