RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave?

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RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 6:01:44 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

quote:

Are there any Mistresses out there that get upset when a sub or potential sub asks for some proof of their identity?

As soon as I make contact w/someone & chat w/them online for a day I ask for voice verification via phone to prove that they are indeed the person that they claim to be (female or male). I have no desire to waste my time chatting online forever w/o knowing who's on the other computer. If they get insulted too bad, then I say "Next"! It also gives me a chance to prove that I'm a female so it's a win/win situation for both of us.

Remember OP, you're not their sub/slave, you're simply a man trying to find a Domme and you have every right to demand verification from her. Yes I said demand. This is still in the "getting to know you" stage just like a vanilla relationship.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to Benswitch)

Post #: 21

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 6:07:20 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i think this is one of those things that's different when you're a female asking vs. a male asking. a female asking someone to get on cam isn't likely to be taken as negatively as a man asking; people tend to assume that a guy just wants you to put on a cam show and they say "no!" as a knee-jerk reaction.
a woman, somehow, is seen as less likely to be doing this.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 22

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 6:27:34 AM

SadisticMs2

Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline

So are we taking bets on how long it takes him to come back here crying that he sent this woman money and she disappeared?

(in reply to lanakael)

Post #: 23

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 8:04:51 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

Benswitch,
Sigh. Where do I begin?

First, slow down, Amigo. Think with your big head, not your little head. Why are you even considering moving to a different country to be with someone you've never met, talked to on the telephone, or seen on webcam? That, my friend, is just stupid.

It is well within your right to ask for verification. And you'd be an idiot to not get verification of some type. Won't you feel like a complete idiot if you spend $1,000 traveling to her country to meet her, only to have her not show up for the meeting? Don't do anything that stupid.

The internet is full of phonies with fake profiles. While I respect LadyPact, I completely disagree with her on this issue. She is the exception. So while her perspective is valid, it is definitely the minority perspective. Most of the Dommes on here have no experience doing demonstrations, so they don't have the extensive list of references that LadyPact has. Therefore, they need to be held to a higher standard of proof.

Bottom line: Most of the Dommes on CollarMe are fake. Never forget that. It's sad, but it's a reality of the internet age. So verify before spending money or sending money. In fact, when it comes to sending money; DON'T!

Good luck.

(in reply to Benswitch)

Post #: 24

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 9:42:44 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

wtf?! You've emailed this person for a total of 48 hours and you're already their slave?? Seriously??

Dude...turn off the computer and get some fresh air. Really. Seriously. Turn it off.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 25

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 10:34:23 AM

hangemhigh1953

Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline

It's not your "place" to ask for verification? You're not a slave yet, and you shouldn't be until you know exactly what you're getting into. I would even go so far as to say that if she's not understanding about that then it's simply another red flag.

_____________________________

"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 26

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 10:49:16 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

It's not your "place" to ask for verification? You're not a slave yet, and you shouldn't be until you know exactly what you're getting into. I would even go so far as to say that if she's not understanding about that then it's simply another red flag.

Everyone has a right to know who the person is, that they are talking to. If he needs verification, I am sure there is a non offensive way in which to get it. He has a right to ask for it.

I can't say the op is all that bright. Being so hungry to jump into something he knows is not right and then asking about it... OR... coming to see how people respond to the stupidity as some sort of set up. Whatever his motives are... I do not believe he is ignorant, clueless or needs assistance.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

Post #: 27

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 11:08:50 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Benswitch,
You've only written to her for a matter of days now. You are not anyone's sub/slave until you say you are. You have every right to expect identity verification from her. If she is refusing to ID herself, how do you know she even really is a "she?" She could be a man...there are men who pose as women, we all know that. Plus, she's in another country, you've only been corresponding for two days, and you're already planning to go meet her. If she can't even ID herself, I would just move on. Why go that far to meet someone if she - or he - refuses to even ID her/himself?

As for being upset when someone asks me to ID myself, it wouldn't bother me IF all they wanted to see was a fully-clothed me smiling into the webcam for a few seconds. Try to get my clothes off on cam? Oh HELL NO. That would be the total end of it.

As far as writing your name on her or his hand or foot, anyone can do that. That doesn't prove s/he is anyone in particular. All that proves is s/he knows what your name is. I would say if this person is being ultra-secretive, just move on. If this person was just across town, it might not be a big deal travelling to meet her without "proof," but traipsing all over the place? Forget it!

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to Benswitch)

Post #: 28

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 1:51:10 PM

Benswitch

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline

Wow thanks guys for all the responses, I would reply individually if I could but because there are so many I'm just going to do a round up of the general contention and the things I'd like to point out

xxBlushesxx (Christina), if only she was talking to me via mic, that would make me feel more relaxed with it. I did say that I hadn't even heard her voice and was planning to talk via the phone instead of the mic - her mic is broken, or that's what I've been told.

It seems a bit weird to me, but she said that my respect to her started instantly, and that I was either her slave or I wasn't. I asked her if I could ask what she was looking for, and she said that I couldn't. When I said I wasn't looking for something that's just online I was almost blocked, but then she said she would do it her way and not mine. She also said she doesn't accept conditions from slaves. This is one of the main reasons it seemed like a man with some sort of fantasy trying to get off, but as time goes on she does seem a lot more real?

And guys I would never plan to go meet someone and spend all that money just because they're there, I've been planning on going to where she is for a long time, I said that in my initial post, so it'd just be something else to do while I'm there. And no, I'd never send money, I've not completely lost it.

So yeah, tried to slow it down, won't happen if it doesn't, but for a Male Sub it's hard to find what could be a very good domme, and for all intensive purposes she could be perfect for me.

Thanks so much for all the responses, for any future relations I have with dommes I'll make sure to do as above but it just seems impossible with this one, so I'll have to remain dubious until I get something that's more concrete. And thanks for the story Lanakael, I guess it shows how hard it is to really know who you're talking to!

Edit: By as above, I mean according to your collective advice!

< Message edited by Benswitch -- 10/6/2011 1:53:38 PM >

(in reply to lanakael)

Post #: 29

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 2:18:37 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Trust your instincts.. my intuition says someone is hiding something

ETA ... I just read your most recent post and checked your profile... honey, you're being taken for a ride.. not sure what country you plan to visit that she's in, but she's not there and it will be one expensive mistake.

You live in an area thatI believe has a lot of offline resources for this... so do some searching and meet some real live people.. rather than ones you have to guess about.

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 10/6/2011 2:27:24 PM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Benswitch)

Post #: 30

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 4:39:15 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

On the one hand, of course you want to ensure you are talking to a woman as soon as possible.

However, as a woman, I get offended when ask to prove I'm female. I don't like it when men rush me for my phone number. I don't own a cam. It's been two days - I would consider you pushy and cross you off my list.

So, slow down, be a gentleman not a HNG, and if you still haven't spoken to her in a few weeks, then come back and give us an update.

(in reply to Benswitch)

Post #: 31

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 8:41:16 PM

ourmsbetty

Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

Oh brother...

You asked for Domme's viewpoint. Here it is.

Would I being willing to talk on the phone rather than via email with someone? Yes, eventually.

After less than 48 hours?

No. Maybe in a week, maybe after a dozen or so emails and a few chats.

Get on cam? Maybe. Do I have one? Do I have time right now? Do I feel I am presentable on camera at the current moment? Is making a date at a specific time later a possibility? Do I like the sub that much? Do I know enough about him? Do I really feel there is potential or am I just not that into him?

As for being asked to send a custom requested picture... forget it. I don't do stupid human tricks and I wouldn't write someone's name on myself for anyone.

If I'm interested in someone they will learn everything they need to know to feel same and secure about who I am long before we broach the subject of meeting.

However, he or she will learn it at my pace, when I am ready to disclose it and pictures, chats, cams, phone calls, etc will happen at my convenience, not on his or her demand.

If someone gets too demanding or pushy I will simply stop responding to them.

_____________________________

"Biting is excellent. It's like kissing, only there's a winner!"-- The Doctor's Wife

"...Open your eyes
And see who I am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself..."

(in reply to Benswitch)

Post #: 32

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 8:44:50 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

You'd do it for $1.99 a minute though!!

*runs*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to ourmsbetty)

Post #: 33

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 8:51:53 PM

ourmsbetty

Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

Actually, I won't right now... the cat broke the cam, remember?

(Never, never, never name a cat Trouble!)

And when the cam is working it's $2.49 a minute.

But even when I am taking those calls I am doing it because I want to when it's convenient for me, not because some subbie-puppy stomped his foot and said "gimme"!

_____________________________

"Biting is excellent. It's like kissing, only there's a winner!"-- The Doctor's Wife

"...Open your eyes
And see who I am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself..."

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 34

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 8:53:16 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

*lol* I meant the phone stuff.

Seems to me since you just got the cam, you could probably return it. (just don't mention teh ebil kitteh)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to ourmsbetty)

Post #: 35

RE: I love being her slave, but am I his slave? - 10/6/2011 9:01:22 PM

ourmsbetty

Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

She is not ebil! She's adorable!

Just territorial. She owns the top of the monitor

and the keyboard.

and the mousepad.

and the couch.

and the pillows.

and the bedspread.

and all of the closet shelves. (after all why do I need someplace to put all those boots?)

But the bathtub's mine.

No wait, that belongs to the other one...

Never mind...

_____________________________

"Biting is excellent. It's like kissing, only there's a winner!"-- The Doctor's Wife

"...Open your eyes
And see who I am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself..."

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 36

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