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Adorah -> RE: first time (10/27/2011 1:29:07 AM)
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Okay, to be serious..
A first timer with BDSM wouldn't be a problem, so long as they'd done their reading up and could hit all the 'SSC' specifications, and really knew that this was what they wanted.
A virgin is a bit different, because I'd feel like I was robbing them of something. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I still think that - if at all possible - a person's first time should be special.
(Not that mine was but whatever).
I do understand the 'I need to get it over with' mentality. Had that myself many years ago -and it lead to bitter disappointment (and yes, relief - but not of the sexual kind). So reconsider, if that's what your goal is. Getting it over with doesn't mean it'll be good, or that you'll be equipped to know what to do next time.
And I can understand how it would be easier to fight the fear if you could just be submissive, and have someone take over everything for you, and all you had to do was show up. But that's not what this is about. Many times BDSM will involve play, but not sex. And it wouldn't be up to you which it was, it'd be up to your Domme/Dom. Would you be prepared for that?
Honestly, if you are older, interested, and a virgin.. you should either consider looking into a pro, or accept that you're going to have to go through the same painful process of fumbling and rejection everyone else on the planet has had to go through. You can do it, we're all wired for it - it just takes courage.
Good luck.
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