quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
LOL.  He's a big bad Dom online and a complete pussy in RL.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Switched31
Lol yes he is a cyber Dom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
If the purpose of this thread was to out him as an asshole, well done. He's an asshole. So are the "subs" who cyber with him or engage in a cyber relationship with him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

can this thread be saved?

quote:

I'm not talking about young 18 year old girls straight out of high school either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
where do D-types believe it comes from? is it nature/nurture? personality, energy, gender roles, something?
My personality is more assertive than it used to be. But I think with D/s, it's more about the energy of the other person. If they are submissive I respond as a Domme, if they are more Dominant than me I respond as a sub. It's not so much about gender roles to me. I've both Dommed and subbed with men. Not with women....yet. So far, my experiences w/ women have been 'nilla.

for those who don't switch, why don't you switch? for those who do, why do you?
how do you express or "feel" dominance? is it mostly a sex thing or a day-to-day life thing?
I do switch. I do it because I've discovered I like both sides of the kneel. I started out as a sub, but I discovered that I like both serving and being served. I don't go through periods of being one or the other, I'm both all or at least most of the time. It depends on the energy the other person gives off, whether I feel Domme or sub with him/her.

I can be either gentle or sadistic as a Domme. Or both, giving gentle aftercare after making someone squirm and scream. And it's an all over feeling when I Domme, it's not just the power/control, and it's not just sexual. Sometimes it's one or the other...and sometimes it's everything...altogether. It depends on what's happening.

~Hisprettybaby~

quote:

ORIGINAL: Switched31

No no the purpose wasn't to out him as an asshole I think he's doing a good job of that on his own. I guess I'm just wondering if someone thinks they are a real Dom just because they bark out orders and also can you claim to be Dominant 100% when it's clear that this guy is only Dominant online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
where do D-types believe it comes from? is it nature/nurture? personality, energy, gender roles, something?
My personality is more assertive than it used to be. But I think with D/s, it's more about the energy of the other person. If they are submissive I respond as a Domme, if they are more Dominant than me I respond as a sub. It's not so much about gender roles to me. I've both Dommed and subbed with men. Not with women....yet. So far, my experiences w/ women have been 'nilla.

for those who don't switch, why don't you switch? for those who do, why do you?
how do you express or "feel" dominance? is it mostly a sex thing or a day-to-day life thing?
I do switch. I do it because I've discovered I like both sides of the kneel. I started out as a sub, but I discovered that I like both serving and being served. I don't go through periods of being one or the other, I'm both all or at least most of the time. It depends on the energy the other person gives off, whether I feel Domme or sub with him/her.

I can be either gentle or sadistic as a Domme. Or both, giving gentle aftercare after making someone squirm and scream. And it's an all over feeling when I Domme, it's not just the power/control, and it's not just sexual. Sometimes it's one or the other...and sometimes it's everything...altogether. It depends on what's happening.

~Hisprettybaby~

quote:

My personality is more assertive than it used to be. But I think with D/s, it's more about the energy of the other person. If they are submissive I respond as a Domme, if they are more Dominant than me I respond as a sub. It's not so much about gender roles to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
thanks for the great post, Hisprettybaby -- so you said that your personality has become more assertive; was there a time when you didnt' desire to be Dominant at all, and it grew over time? or was it there all the while, even though you started as a sub, and it just took you a while to express it?

it's also interesting that your experiences have been with men; a lot of people say that they're sub to men, but Dominant with women.


hooray for a salvageable topic!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Switched31

No no the purpose wasn't to out him as an asshole I think he's doing a good job of that on his own. I guess I'm just wondering if someone thinks they are a real Dom just because they bark out orders and also can you claim to be Dominant 100% when it's clear that this guy is only Dominant online.

quote:

Ok anyways I know this guy who is married claims to be dominant a very very strict Dom if you will he patrols the Internet looking for woman (by the way I do not know him in real life)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

I remember when I first became aware of kink at all, it was in porn - specifically male sub oriented porn I guess - with leather-clad Dominas. When I saw that the women were all Dominant, it left me cold, because I had NO desire to be a Domme.

It wasn't until I'd been into kink for a couple years that my attitude started changing and then I became more assertive even in my vanilla life. Then I started thinking about being on the giving end of flogging and such so, with Daddy's supervision, I tried it. I discovered I liked doing things to/for someone and I liked the power. So I became a switch when I realized at that point that I really did enjoy both sides of the kneel.

At first, I thought I would be strictly sub to men and Dominant to women, but then I realized I like both Domming and subbing with men. I just haven't been in a situation to play with women yet, or I would have. I think I would like it, since I really am bi.

~Hisprettybaby~

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
that's interesting; usually when i talk to switches they basically say they've always been that way, so it's interesting to see someone who had a progression. right now, i feel pretty adamant that i don't want to dominate anyone; i don't really even want to Top anyone. the only person i've engaged in a non-sub way was a puppy player, and he reminded me of my dog. =p hahahaa

do you have people you can switch with, or do you generally just keep one role per interaction ?

quote:

ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx

I'm not sure anyone can be 100% Dom, being 100% Dom would likely land you in prison. Good chance prison will bring out a percentage of sumission or you will end up dead. So I doubt anyone can live very long as 100% Dom

I am Dominant most of the time but in a quiet, confident, leading by example kind of way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: xCallMeSirx

I'm not sure anyone can be 100% Dom, being 100% Dom would likely land you in prison. Good chance prison will bring out a percentage of sumission or you will end up dead. So I doubt anyone can live very long as 100% Dom

I am Dominant most of the time but in a quiet, confident, leading by example kind of way.

Huh?  Being Dominant means being in control.  Not against the law by any means.