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humiliation - 10/14/2011 9:51:22 PM   
hunglikeahamster


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/4/2011
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I am a submissive, straight male who loves to be humiliated, especially verbally. I had a very "normal" childhood. I didn't go through any traumatic "event" that might have led me in this direction. I didn't always enjoy it, but after years of playing with my dominant wife, I kind of just discovered that it was one of my favorite things. I love being laughed at, and I love to be called names, the meaner, the better.

So my question is this: do any of the many Mistresses out there have any idea why this might turn me on so much? I'm not freaked out about it or anything. I have accepted that it is just how I am, but I really wonder sometimes how this particular fetish can turn me on as much as it does. I'm not exactly what you would call "well-endowed," which lends itself well to this particular fetish, but I would think most men would be self-conscious about their small size, rather than turned on by it. I know that I am not the only man out there with this fetish, but I just don't really understand why I enjoy it. Do any of you have any insight that you would be willing to share?

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
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RE: humiliation - 10/14/2011 9:55:47 PM   
xxblushesxx


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From: Kentucky
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I'm guessing this has something to do with one of the first times you were sexual, whether you got off or not. You have associated the teasing and the laughter with the good feelings you get from your little shrinky dink winky. It's fairly common and normal(ish).

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RE: humiliation - 10/14/2011 10:00:14 PM   
hunglikeahamster


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blushes,
that's certainly a reasonable theory, but nothing like that happened to me. I didn't get into it until I had been married for several years, and only once did any girlfriend ever even mention size to me at all, and it was 3 years after we broke up. I appreciate your response. I guess it's possible that I could have been through something like this but don't immediately recall the details, but I'm pretty sure I didn't.
hamster

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RE: humiliation - 10/14/2011 10:47:38 PM   
jmasterson


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
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I think this is simply a part of sexuality that lies dormant in many people. Others of course find themselves naturally attracted to this side of sexuality (being dominated and humiliated sexually), especially people on Collarme.com. That is very interesting to me that you basically learned to enjoy it over time... it really is like that part of your sexuality was lying dormant. It could be that if others were repeatedly exposed to the same activities they could also develop/awaken that part of their sexuality.

This makes sense, as studies have shown that culture, and going along with that what people are exposed to, has a great influence on how our sexualities develop. In the early 1900's men "learned" to be turned on by the sight of a woman's bare ankle flashing up from under her dress. Today few men would chose to stare at a woman's ankle. Perhaps you had deep instincts to be attracted to this but you had never been exposed the idea of humiliation as being sexual in our culture, or if you were you knew that it was not socially acceptable; it is not "normal" in our culture to get aroused from humiliation, so at first the sexual nature of it did not appear to you. Later those instincts were awakened and you "learned" to love it.

Oh, and to the OP, I and many others believe that such desires are not the result of being "mess up" in the head or of having suffered any trauma, etc. I personally was very well adjusted and happy as a child with nurturing, loving parents whose discipline was always appropriate. Around the age of twelve I starting realizing I was very attracted to being dominated after being exposed to it first in the movie Goldeneye, where the character Xenia gets off on hurting her sexual partners. I had never been so aroused as the first time I saw that movie. After that I found a lot more S&M material online, and it became a key part of my sexuality.


< Message edited by jmasterson -- 10/14/2011 10:51:46 PM >

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 7:56:16 AM   
hunglikeahamster


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Ty, Masterson. That certainly is an interesting perspective on the whole thing. I appreciate your time and response. There may be something to that.

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 8:13:25 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Rodents. Have very large testicles. As a fan of order Rodentia, just thought I would share.

And, we are who we are. It can be fun to try and figure out the whys and wherefors! As long as you are enjoying yourself, happy investigating!

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 8:15:33 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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oh man yes they do -- and not only are they huge but they (at leat rats) can suck them back into their bodies. hahaha

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 10:38:21 AM   
hunglikeahamster


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I didn't know that about rodents, but it's particularly funny, because not only do I have a tiny dick, I do happen to have larger than average balls. Of course, they make my 4" cock look even smaller, but you know by now that that works for me. I didn't realize just how accurate my user name was going to turn out to be. Thanks for the info, Lady Hibiscus.

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 12:41:31 PM   
veronicaclark


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/17/2011
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As a fetish life coach....and as any dominatrix knows....yes, a childhood experience is what formed the fetish. It does not mean you had to have been verbally abused..and sorry...what exactly is a normal childhood?...One of my slaves hand was accidently stepped on by his Aunt.,,,hence his trampling fetish....mine?...expensive stockings and italian stillettos....simply from watching my Mother dress one day and as a child..just knowing that was a pretty site..could go on and on...but, it is an event in our childhood that has brought us to the enlightenment of our fetish.....xoxoxo..Mistress Veronica Clark

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 1:34:02 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
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I can't speak directly to the tiny dick fetish, but to humiliation/degradation itself. Being involuntarily moved out of our emotional/psychological comfort zone provokes many reactions.. For many there is a defensive/angry response, but for those of us who like to incorporate our sexuality and use it in a positive fashion, I don't find much surprise in it at all. The triggers are different, but the mechanism is the same. If the reinforcement from your wife has been positive, (ie direct focused attention, intense emotional connection, etc), then that seems pretty straight forward.

Remember though, for most of the rest of us, the size of your cock is Too Much Information. We really don't CARE to know.


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Sthrn
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'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 2:05:51 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t
Remember though, for most of the rest of us, the size of your cock is Too Much Information. We really don't CARE to know.

This. ^^^^^^

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 4:13:46 PM   
MissImmortalPain


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Just to throw in a different two cents that no one else brought up. There are studies now that state do the to overly large use of female hormones in livestock many men suffer(I'm not sure you would really call it suffering) from a desire to be viewed as more female. There are those that think the use of these chemicals have produced over the decades a large group of men that are "built" smaller and desire to be treated in a humiliated way because society still says that men have to be large. As a side note I have to add that many of these same studies state that men with large testies and small cocks are more likely to be unfaithful to their other half do to an urge to prove they are still real men. *please note that I am not saying you are like this just didn't want to leave out what the studies state* As for myself, if I were you, I would stop looking for a reasoning behind it. You seem well adjusted enough to be happy with yourself and being happy with yourself is the best place to start.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 8:22:30 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline
Hello,

Yes it is actually quite common for many males to enjoy feeling humiliated by a Woman. Some prefer young Women, some like being humiliated by beautiful Women, while others like being humiliated by a group of Women. Some men like being laughed at, being naked in front of Women, and yes belittled or laughed at over their tiny penis size. This can be quite fun for Me if the sub likes humiliation since it gives Me an opportunity to go all out and tease a male and not have him get offended or angry. Both I and the male slave enjoy the experience. Of course in this situation it is more important that I and My Girlfriends are having more fun than the man with the pathetic puny penis. Seriously, what it that little thing dangling between your legs?

This reminds Me of My films "Humiliation" and "A Humiliating Experience". What fun I had filming those!

Hope this helps.

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Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

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RE: humiliation - 10/15/2011 9:40:07 PM   
hunglikeahamster


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/4/2011
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Thank you so much for all of the responses. You all have given me many things to think about. I appreciate the encouragement the most. Although I don't fully understand why I think the way I do, I am happy with who I am, and I have thoroughly embraced this side of myself. Fortunately, my Wife/Domme loves me for who I am, and not my kinks. But she does have fun watching me clean her house while wearing frilly panties.

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RE: humiliation - 10/16/2011 6:39:04 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
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Sometimes you ask how that delicious steak is made, so you can analyze it and marvel upon it, and hope to duplicate it later on. But really you should just eat the hell out of it and enjoy it. Sometimes it doesn't really make sense why you like the steak, you just do.

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RE: humiliation - 10/17/2011 10:03:41 AM   
hunglikeahamster


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Joined: 10/4/2011
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Good point, Prolific.

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