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AAkasha -> RE: Tributes for mistress? (10/19/2011 10:54:10 PM)
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I think you will find that for women that seek to dominate from a place of attraction or affection, there has to be chemistry in place, and that chemistry takes time to develop. If a woman is leaping right into offering/discussing domination out of the gate, in exchange for financial support or gifts, she's offering a transaction that you can accept or decline. A lot of men want/expect domination immediately, before any relationship is in place, so a lot of men jump at this type of opportunity. That doesn't mean you have to, nor should you, if you seek domination where the woman just does it because she finds it hot, and finds you hot.
But women who are into this, in that way, we generally aren't arbitrarily attracted to men and want to dominate them instantly. It's not IMPOSSIBLE (I have been known to get immensely insatiable and predatory and "go for" a guy based on sheer eye candy or body language and feeling frisky, but that's rare), but it's very much a right time/right place thing.
There's no quick road to engaging the interest of a dominant woman. You have to invest one way or another: Time, or money. Time it takes to get a woman intrigued and interested and ultimately attracted to you - or, money, to get straight to the BDSM if you feel that it's not as important to know she's into it for you. That's not to say some pay-for-play femdoms or tribute femdoms don't genuinely get off on what they are doing to you; but it's not quite the same as a woman dominating you out of sheer lust for you, which does not require any kind of tribute per se.
Not to further confuse the issue, but BDSM dating is like vanilla courting. Just because you may say you refuse to pay a woman to dominate you, doesn't mean a dominant woman doesn't often expect a minimal level of courtship; offering to pay for the coffee and desert on a lunch meeting (even if she refuses to let you), showing initiative in courtship either through creativity or romance, or being taken on a date, for example. But no more than what would be expected in a "typical" courtship, and of course, some women are more high maintenance than others.
Akasha
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