Live-in tips (Full Version)

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slavejessi -> Live-in tips (10/19/2011 9:57:07 PM)

Hi,

I am new to Collarme. I have been involved in BDSM on and off for about 3 years now.

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before
so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.

Tips, and suggestions are all welcomed!

Sorry if that wasn't enough info, brief live in just means a short time. And I know him somewhat well, I did not meet him on here, i met him
offline.



JanahX -> RE: Live-in tips (10/19/2011 10:00:37 PM)

Doing a brief live in? What does that mean?

How well do you know this guy?



xxblushesxx -> RE: Live-in tips (10/19/2011 10:01:52 PM)

You should ask the guy you're going to live with. No one here can in any way answer that question. (unless he's here on the forums)



AneNoz -> RE: Live-in tips (10/19/2011 10:19:40 PM)

You name yourself a slave. A slave obeys. That is all you need concern yourself of.

Be at peace
Aneka



littlewonder -> RE: Live-in tips (10/19/2011 10:24:48 PM)

depends.

I'm not sure what you mean by brief and I'm guessing you're not in a relationship with him but I'm going to guess you'll be doing a lot of cleaning, sucking dick, fucking, running chores and fucking some more.

Only he would know for sure though.





SoulAlloy -> RE: Live-in tips (10/19/2011 11:20:22 PM)

Yeah it all depends really, are you going for 24/7 brief live in? Or is it going to be more of a time together interspersed with play?

Either way it's down to the pair of you, he in what he wants you to do and you in how much you're willing to do.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 12:49:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

Hi,

I am new to Collarme. I have been involved in BDSM on and off for about 3 years now.

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before
so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.

Tips, and suggestions are all welcomed!

Sorry if that wasn't enough info, brief live in just means a short time. And I know him somewhat well, I did not meet him on here, i met him
offline.


Ok, so you know the guy "kinda" well. You never really know someone until you live with them, I've found. Anyway, since you say "brief," it sounds like there will be no relationship other than the BDSM one. Are you friends as well? Are you attracted to this man, and he you? Have you both considered what happens if feelings develop for each other? Or worse, one develops feelings and the other doesn't?

You say you have been involved in BDSM before, so live in is basically the same thing, only 24/7. Do you have an outside job or go to school? Have you discussed how that fits in with your "brief live in?"

Have the two of you discussed what you each are expecting out of this? As for the concept that you are a "slave" and a slave simply obeys, that is true for some, not as true for others. You and he have to make your own way about this.

Do you have a list of limits you have discussed? You know, the "I'm interested in this, but scared," "Don't try this on me if you want to live to see another day.." those kinds of things?

Best tip you can get was already given. Talk to HIM and find out what HE expects. If it isn't what you expect, negotiate. If you can't negotiate, then pass on the whole idea. If you get there and it sucks, know you are free to leave whenever you want. If you get there and it's great, discuss extending your stay, or making the relationship more than just temporary.

Think of every question you can possibly have about this, and then sit down and ask him. Work from there.

And good luck!



Endivius -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 1:10:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.


Expect nothing. Talk to him and find out what HE expects, and then decide if you can accomodate those expectations. If not, don't do it. Pretty simple.



DesFIP -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 6:26:35 AM)

Discuss with him how your daily life and his will mesh. If you're in school, you'll need a quiet place to study and enough time to do so. Is he planning to give you any time to decompress or not? Do you sleep with the tv on or off, window open or shut, etc.That kind of stuff can be a big problem.

How are you dividing up bills? If this doesn't work out, do you have a place to move back to or enough money to rent a place?



wolf223 -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 6:58:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

depends.

I'm not sure what you mean by brief and I'm guessing you're not in a relationship with him but I'm going to guess you'll be doing a lot of cleaning, sucking dick, fucking, running chores and fucking some more.

Only he would know for sure though.

Hey I need one of those I'am a lousy housekeeper.




OsideGirl -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 6:56:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

Hi,

I am new to Collarme. I have been involved in BDSM on and off for about 3 years now.

I am considering doing a live in for a brief amount of time with a Dom. I have never really done live ins before
so I am asking other Doms what I should expect.

Tips, and suggestions are all welcomed!

Sorry if that wasn't enough info, brief live in just means a short time. And I know him somewhat well, I did not meet him on here, i met him
offline.
I would suggest that you have an exit strategy in case it doesn't work.



slavejessi -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 7:32:28 PM)

I guess I don't have enough info, ya i'm not his girlfriend or anything just a bdsm relationship.
And yes I do have work but i don't really think it would interfere with this.
I have limits and he knows my limits , so I think that will be fine. I did talk to him before about this,
I should of mentioned it but i didn't, he is really honest and seems safe. I am just getting more
info about this on here too, and maybe think of things i didn't think of before.



searching4mysir -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 7:57:41 PM)

What do you want out of moving in? Do you want to be his girlfriend or more?



StrongSpirit -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 7:58:48 PM)

1.) If you expect it to be all sex (or even just bdsm play) all the time, forget it. Anyone, even an addicted pervert that wants 24/7, will quickly find out that 24/7 is at most 20 hours or so of play a week, and 148 hours of vanilla life with a kinky voice in the back of your head saying "I am still dominating/being dominated even though nothing kinky is going on right now." That's at the best.

2) Living with someone, anyone is going to cause issues. I once lived with a room mate I literally saw twice a month - and we still had issues about scents and cleaning up our messes. As the submissive, expect to put up with a lot of silly little annoying things that are NOT sexy. For the sake of the kink, everything ends up being your fault, even when it is Master snoring way too loudly.




xxblushesxx -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 8:13:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

I guess I don't have enough info, ya i'm not his girlfriend or anything just a bdsm relationship.
And yes I do have work but i don't really think it would interfere with this.
I have limits and he knows my limits , so I think that will be fine. I did talk to him before about this,
I should of mentioned it but i didn't, he is really honest and seems safe. I am just getting more
info about this on here too, and maybe think of things i didn't think of before.


Why not go for a few extended weekends, and then maybe later think about this arrangement?
Living with people, even people you like and love dearly, is almost always difficult. (if you've ever had best friends as roommates, you'll understand this.)
Anyway, just take your time. There's no hurry.



littlewonder -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 8:21:25 PM)

it seems to me like you don't much of anything at all about the living situation or the guy. You two have A LOT of talking to do. I would tread carefully.




JanahX -> RE: Live-in tips (10/20/2011 9:15:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejessi

I guess I don't have enough info, ya i'm not his girlfriend or anything just a bdsm relationship.
And yes I do have work but i don't really think it would interfere with this.
I have limits and he knows my limits , so I think that will be fine. I did talk to him before about this,
I should of mentioned it but i didn't, he is really honest and seems safe. I am just getting more
info about this on here too, and maybe think of things i didn't think of before.


go for it, if it doesnt work out, move out. Your a big girl ... go on and do big things!



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Live-in tips (10/21/2011 12:02:49 AM)

 
Generally speaking...

* You WILL find there's shit you HATE doing, but are expected to do it... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

* You WILL fail from time to time... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

* You WILL question yourself and your decision... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

* You WILL experience what it's like to be with ONE, SPECIFIC person (which may turn out good or bad) -- things with another WILL be quite different... remember this.

* You WILL find (after the initial "thrill" has passed) that the typical, boring, "life" stuff will occupy FAR more time than the BDSM stuff... be mentally/emotionally prepared for this.

[:)]




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