|
MistressDarkArt -> RE: Married and looking for dom (10/20/2011 7:47:34 PM)
|
Welcome, cainingpost.
First off, good on ya for being honest about your situation. Second, I think you're absolutely right to keep your wife in the loop at every turn and good on her for understanding your need without shutting you down. However, she may never develop the desire to provide for your lifestyle needs so don't get too excited about that possibility just yet.
The folks recommending you go to a munch together is a good idea. If one or both of you isn't quite up for that, there is the possibility of her going with you to an initial meeting with a Pro Domme. Your wife can ask any questions or express concerns she might have and if there needs to be some upfront negotiation regarding the session this is where/when it can be discussed with all three of you present. She may or may not want to observe or participate in the actual scene but at least everything is completely transparent. Should that particular Pro be a good match for you, your wife may be much more comfortable about your returning to this person occasionally since she's been part of the negotiating process.
There is another reason for recommending a Pro Domme over finding a non-pro lifestyle Domme: Pros *rarely* develop an emotional attachment to their clients. Many spouses/partners worry more about that than the actual mechanics of a session.
It's likely you already know that non-pro lifestyle femdoms pretty much write their own ticket. First, they are women; most want the emotional attachment, life-partner connection, and honey-do's as well as the kinky stuff. They can get it in spades from a line out the door of men eager to provide the entire package. They can have one, ten, or a hundred based on their needs. So the probability you'll find one online willing to accommodate someone married is slim; might be a little better at a munch. Still, not the best odds. The probability of you and your wife locating a paid professional in an arrangement you all can live with is quite good.
Next, this is going to be an expensive indulgence of *your* needs. Be prepared that for your wife to continue to be OK with the arrangement she might want an indulgence of her own. Maybe she would like a professional massage or pampering at a spa. Maybe she would like to take a trip or cruise with you or on her own. Ask her what she would like in this regard, who she would like it from, and make sure she gets it. Keep negotiating and communicating until you come to an agreement that will adequately meet everyone's needs. Needs can change with time; be proactive about keeping the lines of communication open as well as thank her profusely for being open-minded about accommodating yours.
Best wishes to you both, and good luck.
|
|
|
|
