RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM?

RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (Full Version)

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jj292 -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 5:05:26 PM)
Yeah there seems to be some confusion here. Personality is relatively stable and permanent. It doesnt change much throughout life. However, depression and mania do change even in mentally healthy people. It's a fluid scale that can be tipped one way or another as we go through life. Like becoming depressed when a loved one dies is normal. Eventually though it will return to normal. A depression disorder would be a prolonged or very deep depressed state. But this has nothing to do with a person's underlying personality. That doesnt change much with your moods. People with bi-polar disoder experiences these swings between depression, normal, and mania less predictably than someone without the disorder. And the severity can vary greatly. Some become more manic than depressed or vice-versa. These can be rapid swings taking place in a matter of days to slow swings that take place over the course of months. This can also be managed through medications and/or thought processes one can learn in therapy. If you do have swings of personality (the core traits that make up who you really are), that would be a much more serious problem. Then you get into things like dissociative disorders. Whether someone is dominant or submissive in the BDSM scene involves different things. A big part of it would be personality. But sexual orientation would also be involved. Also the odd connection many have between pain and pleasure is involved. Fetishes are involved. So you got a lot of different parts of the brain working in different ways. Why someone is dominant and why someone is submissive isnt something that can be easily explained.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 5:21:23 PM)
The biggest problem with your question isn't necessarily lack of understanding, but discounting that people with diagnosed BPD or Schizophrenia/effective are typically medicated. When these disorders are controled with medication, those ups and downs are much less likely to happen; the whole point of medication. Of course, finding the right balance with medication can take some time. On the other hand, someone who claims to have any form of the above mental illnesses, but has not been diagnosed by a qualified doctor, is likely talking out their ass. There is no point to not taking medications to deal with these illnesses.

DesFIP -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 6:49:18 PM)
My oldest is bipolar type II, she doesn't swing between suicidal depression and mania. She swings between suicidal depression and rage. That's off the medication which she hasn't been in ten years. These days she's pretty much balanced but during winter she suffers from depression. Not lack of confidence in her abilities or knowledge, but no energy to go and do stuff. Her confidence level never changes. And anybody with mania who is delusional isn't going to be able to maintain a relationship during that time. Nor are they when suicidally depressed. If they preferred a power relationship that would be only during the time between swings. Which could well be for ten months of the year. The two months they were suffering? They wouldn't have the energy to maintain the relationship.That was my great uncle btw, a good guy normally but for a couple of months of the year he checked out of work, family and friends because he just didn't have the energy to maintain normal life.

OICU8Master -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 7:44:31 PM)
The question's not invalid. You're being rude. So is everyone else who responded to the OP. I've never seen such a gathering of trolls and just plain rude people since I dropped by Free Republic some years back.

Lockit -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 7:45:59 PM)
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 7:56:37 PM)
A TENS unit wired to the forehead for mental stimulation, Please!!!!!!!!!!!!

MistressSnow -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/26/2011 11:48:11 PM)
I am not on a side with this, nor am I medically trained to help or answer the question brought forth by the OP. However, I am really uncomfortable with the way the OP is being treated. WOW- he only asked a question. If all the haters thought it was stupid, or beneath them to respond---- why did they>? This just feels mean and there is no cause.

Adorah -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 2:05:41 AM)
Re: OP I think that a submissive who was bi-polar would need to be treated in accordance with their capabilities. IF they were medicated, then most likely they would be perfectly capable of 24/7 play if that's what they wanted. If unmedicated, or less severely bi-polar, then the time spend in the dynamic would clearly, be drastically reduced. It would be up to the Dom as to whether or not they could deal with that. There would also be considerable concerns in the realm of Sane and Consentual, which would need to be baldly addressed by both parties beforehand; unless you want your ass handed to you in a court of law. The thing is, if you had a relationship, and your sub was bipolar, you'd have to be able to learn, anticipate, recognize, and cope with the behaviours that would be not only out of Your control; but out of theirs as well. I suppose if you'd established a love/commitment situation first, you'd have more inclination to do the research and attend the doctors appointments that come with diagnosis and treatment. With more knowledge comes more understanding and an increase ability to accept and cope. I personally, think that any person with a mental illness or disability is still able to be a good sub or Dom/me, there would just have to be more flexibility. More understanding about 'bad days' and more time spent on nourishing 'good days'. Just like you would have to be more flexible with the capabilities of a submissive/Dom who has physical limitations. It is by no means an impossible situation, it would just require more knowledge, flexibility, and care.

allthatjaz -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 2:59:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orchid77 I will address Wikipedia...do not use it as a form of reference most academic institutions (colleges and univerisities) do not allow it due to the fact that anyone can go in Wikpedia make an account and change information. So what you read may not be accurate. Slightly off topic here! Whilst I agree that Wikipedia is not used as a form of reference for academic institutions, not anyone can go to Wikipedia, make and account and change information. The problem with Wikipedia is, someone can set up an account and give false information with bogus sources on a subject of their choosing that hasn't been done before. We know someone fairly famous. Someone esle set up a Wikipedia account about him. The information was hugely inaccurate but when the famous person set up an account and tried to correct the information, his account was suspended. I agree, don't take Wiki at its word and don't bother trying to correct inaccurate information on Wiki because its near on impossible.

kalikshama -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 5:20:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OICU8Master The question's not invalid. You're being rude. So is everyone else who responded to the OP. I've never seen such a gathering of trolls and just plain rude people since I dropped by Free Republic some years back. More sweeping generalizations from you. How was my post 27 rude? Additionally, lillybopeep wasn't rude, nor were some others. The OP even agreed he could have framed the question better.

crazyml -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 5:37:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OICU8Master The question's not invalid. You're being rude. So is everyone else who responded to the OP. I've never seen such a gathering of trolls and just plain rude people since I dropped by Free Republic some years back. I think you may be exaggerating a wee bit. It got off to a rocky start, but the tone has improved a lot.

crazyml -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 5:40:54 AM)
Hey Contentment, Fair play for sticking it out. I've a little experience of BPD (family) and it's a real over simplification to boil it down to "confidence", BPD mania can manifest as over confidence and depression can manifest as a lack of it, but it's a lot more gnarly than that. I also think it's wrong to equate "confidence" with dominance or submissiveness - I have a very very strong preference for highly confident subs and am a pretty confident chap myself. Sure, BPD is bound to have an impact on how you relate to others, so it will certainly affect the way in which you express your dominance or submission, but I don't think there's any thing like a straightforward correlation to be made.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 9:45:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Contentment First, I love wikipedia. I get on a topic and just keep learning more and more, very interesting. Recently I got onto the mental health stuff, in particular bi-polar, sadism and the new ones for DSM-V. Very interesting read. First fun one, is that sadism isn't considered a mental illness anymore. They determined it was so common in males, that it wasn't viable as a mental illness. Very amusing. But then again, this is mental health, the minds that, at one point, thought PMS and homosexuality were just mental illnesses. But for an illness like bi-polar, I imagine it would greatly impact the BDSM scene. Your mood switches from high confidence to a very low confidence, or at least a less confident persona - this would impact your ability to be dominant or submissive. A submissive with that much confidence, is probably not too submissive...Don't really know. I suspect that listing them as a switch is probably not right either, but I wanted to know other people's thoughts on the subject. PS: Not looking to make fun of the mentally ill. I enjoy my curiosity, and you can enjoy the conversation too, but try to keep it civil and non-discriminatory. Mental illness is super common and that needs to be kept in mind when posting on a public web site. First of all, you do know, don't you, that any nincompoop can edit what's written in Wikipedia? It can be fun to read, yeah, but you're not assured of getting accurate medical information there at all. I would really recommend checking out some good medical reference books from your local library and finding out more from reputable sources rather than from Wikipedia. Secondly, people who happen to be bipolar are still individuals just like everyone else, and react to their illness as individuals. Sure, there are commonalities, but there are differences too. Add to that how well a person is or is not stabilized with meds and/or psychotherapy. I happen to be bipolar and I'm also a confident person, more now than I have been in the past. I also take the right meds in the right dosages for me, so I'm very well stabilized. I'm a switch too, so I both Dominate and submit. I find that my well-controlled bipolar does not affect either my Dominance or my submission. When I was unmedicated before I was diagnosed, I was too fucked up to even be involved in interpersonal relationships at all, let alone D/s. Of course, each person is an individual and how their illness affects them is individual too.

wandersalone -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 10:35:01 AM)
FR OP, well done on persevering. You mentioned that you think you have got the answer to your question. Are we allowed to know what the answer was? [:)] Also FYI - I am another of those people that has trained in mental health Also, I think it is not helpful to try to over-simplify things by pulling out a couple of symptoms that your friend has ie. the mood swings, and focusing your question and post on that issue. As you mentioned, the person has been diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. They have been given this diagnosis and not bipolar affective disorder because they have different symptoms. By asking a question that mentions someone having the symptoms of BD you actually will be receiving useless answers. Personally, I agree with whomever it was that said that the logical thing to do would be to ask your friend what they feel their orientation is...if it is something that they feel ok discussing with you. I guess I am confused as to why you are wondering about this questions at all to be honest. I know the orientations of all of my kinky friends (even if it is that they are not quite sure yet and are exploring) because as part of getting to know them we have exchanged this information about ourselves. The only friends whom I don't know if they are dom, sub or a pineapple are those who have no idea of my bdsm interests and thus I have never pondered what they would be if kinky. My main focus, if your friend is kinky, is ensuring they are stable and healthy first, ie linked in with a doctor, on medication and taking as prescribed if needed, in therapy if needed, have a good support network and are not putting themselves at risk where possible. All of that comes way before putting them in a category for their orientation. There have been some wonderful mental health discussions on the forums here over the years and you will find that there are a lot of very knowledgeable people as well as many who are very compassionate. Final note - a lot of mental health practitioners have major concerns about the DSM - V. Many of the new categories have minimal scientific research behind them and other categories appear to have been removed with minimal justification.

ModTwentyOne -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 11:02:17 AM)
Let's stick to the topic please, and not on the way other people are responding.

catnipkitty -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/27/2011 4:36:50 PM)
I'll take on the question of why the OP is getting the kind of responses coming their way. Bipolar D/O has nothing to do with self confidence. To me the question was posed in a way that is not really answerable because it started out with an assumption about this mental illness that isn't true. To give the kind of answer that was sought one would have to go along with the statements made to answer it. Frankly some people with bipolar disorder are very self confident whether stable, manic or depressed. Some people aren't self confident who have this illness. There's the problem with trying to form an answer to what was asked.

Contentment -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/28/2011 8:37:20 AM)
I'm liking how civil things have gotten. Thank you. Couple of things need addressing: 1: Seriously didn't mean to offend. I didn't understand a topic, so I asked a question. I've gotten answers and my understanding is becoming more complete. Thank you. 2: Can't seem to edit the OP. I really want to add a line like, "This topic has changed a bit, please read to page 2 or so, so your answer isn't just getting angry at the first post. I really failed at expressing the question I wanted to ask." 3: Wikipedia is about as useful as the old written encyclopedias were. The deal is that the written ones were almost always hideously out of date. They also featured very simplified explanations of topics and would write their own opinions to hot button topics instead of not taking sides. Universities, colledges, and even public schools have never accepted references from an encyclopida in my experiences. The purpose of the encyclopedia is to get a starting point on a topic, so one can do further research using other, more current and accurate, sources.

Arpig -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/28/2011 8:59:20 AM)
OK, this thread has gone on a while with a lot of people giving their opinions about what being bi-polar is like. The OP is very, very wrong about it. I have schizo-effective disorder, which is basically schizophrenia combined with bi-polar disorder. I have up periods, when I am enthusiastic and chipper, and optimistic. I am full of energy and yes, very confident. I have down periods when I am apathetic and morose, and very pessimistic. I have no energy, and yet, I remain very confident. It isn't confidence that will allow me to chat up a bunch of 20-year old lesbians on the bus and get their phone numbers, that I can do anytime, it is that I have the enthusiasm and gusto to be bothered. So, what the OP is thinking is confidence is in fact interest. When I am down, I am just as capable of schmoozing, I just can't be bothered, its not that I doubt my ability or the outcome, its just I have no interest in the outcome. It does not in anyway affect my dominance, though it does affect how submissives react. In effect, there are three different personalities with which she has to interact; up, normal (or as close to normal as I get), and down. Usually I am in my normal phase, but even with medication the others can and do surface...medication just lessens the impact, smooths out the very highs and very lows. The phases have no regularity or pattern, they can last anywhere from a few hours to months. My longest down period was about 20 months, and my longest up was about 14 months. When I am up, my attention and interest is on others, when I am down it is almost entirely on myself. During my down periods I have little interest in D/s and am almost entirely focused on the S&M aspects...shut up, I don't want to talk with you, I just want to hurt you. During my up periods I am less focused on physical S&M and more on the dynamic and relationship as a whole. So I would have to say that yes, mental illness of the bi-polar variety does indeed affect one in a BDSM context, but just not in the way the OP thinks. Somebody already pointed out how being bi-polar can make everything in life difficult and tricky, and they were right. It does, and therefore it will similarly affect any BDSM-based interactions one has.

HisPossession513 -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/28/2011 9:27:46 AM)
Being bipolar is not about confidence/low confidence. It IS about mood but typically presents as depression with either euphoric or dysphoric mania. Euphoric mania typically presents as extreme happiness/invulnerablity/grandiosity/ etc. Dysphoric mania typically presents as irritabilility/anxiety/anger/ etc. What seems to be getting missed in your post, as well, is that with treatment, these moods stabilize completely in some and at tolerable levels for others. I have been bipolar my entire life....treated since the age of 25. Medication, for me, brings me to the tolerable level. Meaning I get the depression/mania (dysphoric in my case) as well as completely normal mood levels. While I wouldn't say it has nothing to do with D/s (as we are the sum of all of our pyschological parts), it isnt necessarily WHY someone is D/s. I dont' lack confidence. I don't lack a backbone. I don't lack self-esteem. I'm a beautiful, confident, strong woman...who finds pleasure and release in the act of submission. I hope that gives you at least one POV from the bipolar side of things. :)

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Specfic mental health questions in regards to BDSM? (10/28/2011 10:11:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig OK, this thread has gone on a while with a lot of people giving their opinions about what being bi-polar is like. The OP is very, very wrong about it. I have schizo-effective disorder, which is basically schizophrenia combined with bi-polar disorder. My grown son has schizo-affective disorder too.

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