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Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 1:50:01 PM   
amativedame


Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, I am having some issues "staying calm" at the moment.  Not the best choice of words to really describe how I'm feeling but it sorta fits where I would like to be right now.  I am one big worried, nervous and anxious blob at the moment, which is needless to say not fun or productive.

A close friend of mine (who I may actually end up collaring several months down the road from now) called me from the hospital today.  He wanted to apologize in case I've been trying to contact him and to tell me he wasn't going to be able to make our play date which was supposed to happen tomorrow night.  He's been in the hospital all week.  He hasn't been doing well and they aren't sure what it is yet, but they know its not life threatening. 
I guess on the plus side this has all made me realize how important I feel he is to me...

What do you do help calm yourself down when someone you care about is in the hospital?  How do you cope?

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 1:55:47 PM   
Moloch


Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I drink lots of cofee.

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 2:00:41 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

What do you do help calm yourself down when someone you care about is in the hospital?  How do you cope?


What I do is to simply remind myself that if they are ill that they are in the best place for them to be. I also have a favorite saying I use: Don't worry until they tell you that you have something to worry about.

Nothing can be served by worrying except to wear you down and make you miserable so do try to calm down some. I know you can't not worry, but know that they are being taken care of.

_____________________________

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 2:09:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		When someone I care about is in the hospital, I go visit them. My grandson spent 6 weeks in the hospital last year and I flew to CA and stayed until he was released. I spent several nights there and was there every day and even though I couldn't do anything other than entertain him when he wasn't sleeping, I felt better just being able to be there with him.

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 5/25/2006 2:10:29 PM >

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 2:13:56 PM   
amativedame


Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline 		I want to do that so badly... but at least tonight I can't.  One of the big reasons is the fact that his family is going to be there.... and well although him and I don't have a problem with the age difference they will.  He obviously doesn't need that kind of stress.

Hopefully tomorrow...

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 2:18:16 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I was very worried and anxious on the plane ride to go see my grandson, so I took the time to write him a long letter and draw him some funny pictures and stuff which I took with me to the hospital. You can do that until you get the chance to see him, keeping him in your mind but also giving you something to focus on doing 'for him'. I've spent enough time in hospitals to really appreciate someone who will do things which are fun and then share those with me. I'm a horrible artist, so the pictures were so bad, that even though the boy was in bad shape, he was able to smile a bit.. and laughter really is wonderful medicine for what ails us.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 9:37:42 PM   
spectreandnectre


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: nebraska
Status: offline 		i would just make the phone calls and find something else to try to occupy my time if i couldnt be there with them

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/25/2006 11:47:04 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		You might send him a gift basket fill with magazines, crosswords, and things of that nature.


Best,

LaMalinche


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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 5:14:36 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Can you do anything to help him upon his release from the hospital?  I was recently in the hospital for 5 days (ugh), and there are challenges when you return home.  It's an emotional and physical rollercoaster and often there are restrictions on your activity, not to mention how easily you tire.  Offering to help during recuperation can be priceless.

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 5:52:06 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Just let him know that you are there for him and the nasty things you plan to do to him when he gets out. That will help both of you get through this bad time.
Also tell him to bring that gown with the ass end wide open for public viewing home with him when he's released, because you have some fun ideas in mind

My best, Kevin

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 6:08:48 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

When someone I care about is in the hospital, I go visit them.
Celeste


I would suggest that before going to visit someone in the hospital, check to see that they actually want visitors.  When I'm in a hospital, I just want people to stay away.  They get in the way, distract the staff, disturb my sleep and generally make a pain of themselves. 

I much prefer that people call first, ask if they can come and make an appointment for a specific time.   I'm not a national park that anyone can feel free to visit during the open hours.

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 6:22:11 AM   
talibahh


Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

When someone I care about is in the hospital, I go visit them.
Celeste


I would suggest that before going to visit someone in the hospital, check to see that they actually want visitors.  When I'm in a hospital, I just want people to stay away.  They get in the way, distract the staff, disturb my sleep and generally make a pain of themselves. 

I much prefer that people call first, ask if they can come and make an appointment for a specific time.   I'm not a national park that anyone can feel free to visit during the open hours.



lol ... i am a nurse, and yes, sometimes visitors can be a pain in the butt... so You dont know how funny this is to me
 
i agree, ring him, ask him if and when he would like for you to visit... or if there is anything you can do for him while he is in there. Often just the offer is enough, and lets him know he is in your thoughts and you care...
 
and as always... i like Fastlanes idea .. my advice is, just dont let him get caught stealing the gown  
 
tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 6:22:59 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

When I'm in a hospital, I just want people to stay away.  They get in the way, distract the staff, disturb my sleep and generally make a pain of themselves.


Sometimes you just wanna push the morphine button and nap.  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 6:40:09 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

I want to do that so badly... but at least tonight I can't.  One of the big reasons is the fact that his family is going to be there.... and well although him and I don't have a problem with the age difference they will.  He obviously doesn't need that kind of stress.

Why would the age difference even be an issue.....when you visit him you can do so as "a friend". I am 46, and I have friends who would visit me in the hospital ranging in age from 12 to 60.

I am friends (and I do mean purely platonic friends) with many of my kids' friends, and with my friends' kids, as well as with young people in my neighbourhood.

If his family is there when you show up, just be cheerful and pleasant, introduce yourself as a friend, drop off the baloons, magazines, or whatever, inquire as to how he is feeling, chat a bit about nothing, sit around feeling slightly embarassed during the uncomfortable silences....just like any other person who is visiting a friend in the hospital. If you get a moment alone you can whisper something special to him then, or just do it over the phone if you don't get the chance while visiting. The age difference only applies if you are making it obvious you are "involved", and that is so very easy to not do.




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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 7:05:58 AM   
Aileen68


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Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

.   I'm not a national park that anyone can feel free to visit during the open hours.


Bus tours to Mount Warren starting in five minutes.

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 7:24:33 AM   
Moloch


Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		It would suck for Warren if I showed up, I instinctevley push every button I see.

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 7:26:37 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		When Master is in the hospital I stay with Him as much as possible, it helps Him relax and I can help Him which lets the nursing staff help others who may need more care. I have only been asked to leave once - most of the nurses are happy to have me there keeping an eye on Him. When He wants to rest I have a book in my bag and I sit quietly and read. Each bed has a TV so there is that to entertain me as well - Master does not sleep well in hospitals so He usually pays to have the TV even if it's just for one night.

When I have to leave Him there we both hate it. Even though our unit is only 5 minutes drive away He insists I ring when I get home at night so He knows I am safe. By then it is usually after 8.30pm so I cook a quick meal, have a shower and make a "nest" in our bed of pillows and Master's t shirt or something with His smell on it so I can sleep. I usually toss and turn for a while but after being at the hospital all day I do sleep eventually!

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 9:13:07 AM   
amativedame


Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

[I would suggest that before going to visit someone in the hospital, check to see that they actually want visitors.  When I'm in a hospital, I just want people to stay away.  They get in the way, distract the staff, disturb my sleep and generally make a pain of themselves. 



Thats exactly why I'm not rushing over there right now.  When I asked where we was admitted when he called he got a little flustered, it was somewhat obvious he didn't expect me to come see him.  Since he hasn't given me the ok to come yet, I'm not.

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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 11:18:23 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



Thats exactly why I'm not rushing over there right now.  When I asked where we was admitted when he called he got a little flustered, it was somewhat obvious he didn't expect me to come see him.  Since he hasn't given me the ok to come yet, I'm not.



This is someone whom you are considering collaring down the road and he didn't expect that you would want to come and see him? Maybe it's me, but I find that rather odd. Master wouldn't ask me for permission to come and visit me in the hospital. If he wanted to do so, he would. Are you at least able to call him on the phone to check on his progress? Your journal is pretty clear that you do r/t only, so I'm assuming this is someone who you know off line and it would seem to me, if you are considering collar him, that he wouldn't want you to worry about him.

I hope he gets better soon and that you get to see him fairly quickly.

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to amativedame)
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RE: Hospital stays & important people - 5/26/2006 11:49:25 AM   
amativedame


Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline 		Its not as much of a "want to" situation as it is a "can I" situation.  Perhaps I should have used a better choice of words.  I am without a car at the moment (which he is well aware of) and he's about a 45 minute to an hour drive away from me.  Although I would gladly take the trains or buses or do whatever I had to do to get there at this point... I don't think its something he wants me to think I have to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Your journal is pretty clear that you do r/t only, so I'm assuming this is someone who you know off line and it would seem to me, if you are considering collar him, that he wouldn't want you to worry about him.



He knows me well enough to know that not matter how calm and cool and collected I seem (which I appear to be 90% of the time) I by nature have a tendency to worry.  I think in his mind, by not seeing me is keeping me from worrying as much as I could be.  I am a lot calmer today than I was yesterday, and I think he knows me well enough to figure that seeing him today might very easily bring all of it back instead of pushing it away. 

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