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Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 4:35:19 PM

darchChylde

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Recent circumstances have caused me to do a lot of thinking. Without going into everything, let me just say that I wonder how far from the middle of the spectrum I am.

I was with a woman one evening who I'd been with "vanilla" on several occasions and she expressed an interest in role-play and light kink but had absolutely no experience. As she is naturally submissive, I took charge and did some rope work and spanking, a bit of role-play (mostly daddy-dom) style with a little aggression. Light stuff all around.

The thing is, it was highly enjoyable in both the physical and the mental aspects and while it wasn't the first time I tried the other side, it was the first time it really worked for me.

I'm not about to using the big "D" on myself, or walking into a club or social claiming I'm a dominant; I just wonder how many others had similar firsts and where, if anywhere, it went from that point.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 10/29/2011 4:42:11 PM >

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 4:52:46 PM

lelloy

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Meh, I've taken the initiative with vanilla partners but though I might be in control in that situation I've never really let it lead me to questioning my role. I know I can top, I've always known. I know I can do it better than some. However, topping others doesn't give me the rush that submission does, I don't crave it and it doesn't come naturally to me. When it comes to topping other people I don't think of it in terms of power exchange, I thin this is sex, this is play, this is fun, and this is absolutely nothing like what I get when I find someone worth kneeling for.

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 5:01:08 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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Let me clarify. This wasn't the only thing that led me to wonder, just the only actual manifestation; and the only thing that I'm comfortable setting in a public forum. Also, I've topped before and simply never enjoyed it.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 5:34:45 PM

Endivius

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Chemistry has a lot to do with your interaction with the person. It is likely that the interaction was so enjoyable because of the person you were experiencing the scene with. You may not have the same experience with others. Time will tell.

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 5:41:42 PM

Wolf2Bear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Recent circumstances have caused me to do a lot of thinking. Without going into everything, let me just say that I wonder how far from the middle of the spectrum I am.

I was with a woman one evening who I'd been with "vanilla" on several occasions and she expressed an interest in role-play and light kink but had absolutely no experience. As she is naturally submissive, I took charge and did some rope work and spanking, a bit of role-play (mostly daddy-dom) style with a little aggression. Light stuff all around.

The thing is, it was highly enjoyable in both the physical and the mental aspects and while it wasn't the first time I tried the other side, it was the first time it really worked for me.

I'm not about to using the big "D" on myself, or walking into a club or social claiming I'm a dominant; I just wonder how many others had similar firsts and where, if anywhere, it went from that point.

As it was pointed out before, often it is due to the energy between you and the other person which has you stepping out of the role which we'd assumed we fit into. At least that is what I am finding with myself and with a couple of regular play dates and with my own cub. I do enjoy taking a more dominant role with certain people and also enjoy service topping yet to call myself a dominant is not in the cards for me.

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 5:45:01 PM

TheFireWithinMe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Let me clarify. This wasn't the only thing that led me to wonder, just the only actual manifestation; and the only thing that I'm comfortable setting in a public forum. Also, I've topped before and simply never enjoyed it.

Have you tried topping since then?

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/29/2011 8:12:48 PM

EmilyRocks

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No. I have been dominant since long before I knew what it was.

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/30/2011 12:42:53 AM

HannahLynn

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oh fuck yea. welcome to the wonderful world of switchiness. don't fucking worry about what you are, just go with it. if somebody makes your knees weak, bow to her, if another makes you growl then put her on her knees. it doesn't matter one fucking bit what you call yourself, all that matters is that you and yours are getting off on whatever the fuck you are and do.

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RE: Ever have slash doubt? - 10/30/2011 11:37:36 AM

DesFIP

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Lots of us can't get anything to work with casual partners. We need the right person at the right time for it to work. Maybe that's what you needed. To have the right person who meshed with you in order for you to have it work. The elusive chemistry for lack of a better term.

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