susannah
Posts: 79
Joined: 10/19/2004 Status: offline
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Not Me -I imagine all of this advice might seem both helpful, and a bit overwhelming. I know if I'm in a "down on myself" mode, sometimes advice all sounds like criticism, and I would really feel bad for you if you use any to "beat yourself up." That's not the goal it sounds to me like you may be looking for (or what anyone would intend). It sounds like you were asking for information, which you are going to now take some time to digest. I think you should be proud of yourself for seeking information you needed - some people in life don't bother, because it's "too much work" (and I am Not patronizing you). I didn't want to ask you outright for any personal information on the boards here, (and I never would) because I think that kind of information is just that: Personal. I think people should divulge only what they want or need to - otherwise, I am of the opinion it is nobody's business but theirs. I am new to this lifestyle, and there are a lot of people who are very knowledgeable about it on these boards in particular (and many) areas. I appreciated reading it all, too, and I particularly really loved the advice that pointed in the direction of: "This is not a big deal, or a "contest" to see who is the best bsdm'er, or D/s life-styler" and that emphasized that you have plenty of time, and it's not a "life or death" matter. I loved the advice that recommended giving yourself a "method" to help you become more like the wonderful person you are by creating little ways to do it in your own head, and then trying them out. One thing I read about people sometimes doing (and this I would only do if you're in the mood and feel like it sometime) is writing a story, something like a fairy tale, with you as the main character, and how you want that main character to develop. I am not joking, this is something I've heard can really be helpful to people. There is sometimes a "wicked witch" (or warlock) or two, in there, and maybe a helpful wizard or two, a couple of thunderstorms or volcanoes - you decide who each character is by giving the people and events who you feel shaped your life in a a positive or a negative way names and descriptions (and I'd give the bad ones as many warts and chin hairs as possible). One person I know had a lot of fun with this, and it made them feel pretty good because the main character is always the person writing the story, and, of course, the heroine. I've heard it can be fun to maybe try sometime. I've seen it be helpful to more than one person I know. There is nothing "wrong" with you. Life is a process. If there is something you want to change, you can do it. No big deal. I think this is a legitimate life-style choice, but it's your choice, and a choice is what it should be. Relax, have a good time, and good luck! - susannah
< Message edited by susannah -- 10/21/2004 11:50:42 PM >
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" I had been my whole life a bell - and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck". - Annie Dillard (1945 - )
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