New anything will help

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Sharpieteal -> New anything will help (11/3/2011 9:10:32 PM)
Anything you feel I should know, please tell me everything is helpful. And it would be nice to talk with others. :3 Edited because Of a helpful friend :3

IrishMist -> RE: New anything will help (11/3/2011 9:21:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sharpieteal So Im new, Ive been on the site for a little while. And I've been stalking out peoples thread's seeing if anything really answers, or tells me things I want to know. I've had lot's and lot's of Dom's write me, I've quickly learned the kinds I dont even want to talk to. Which I've seen Im not alone in my choices. But one problem Im finding Im having is what I want to talk about with dom's I do like. I find a lot of them want to know what Im here for, and I know but when I try to put it into words I draw a blank. I also not sure how to just jump into talking about things I want to do, I find myself getting nervous. I wonder if it's because of the type of person I am, I keep everything inside. And dont really talk about this side of myself, so it could just be Im nervous to open up. But I guess what Im asking really, is do other sub's feel like this? And to dom's what's an easy subject to talk about. What do you like to talk about, what do you expect to know from a new sub? Please anyone's imput would be very helpful, and hopfully help me see Im not the only one like this. No, you are not the only one who feels and thinks like this [:)] You are actually, part of a huge majority...and I am not just referring to those who are new. Even some of us 'old timers' get to the point where we just don't want to talk about ourselves with STRANGERS. Since you are new, you are going to find that 99% of the people you talk to on the other side are fucking idiots. Straight up. They are after a quick lay, they are after a 'discreet' relationships because they are cheating on their other half, etc, etc. They are fuck heads [:)] What you should do, since you are new, is take some time to do some in depth research...not only the reading kind...but the deep, soul searching kind. My advice would be that if you really need to talk to someone, find someone on the boards that you connect with 'word wise', and then ask them some questions. Most of us are pretty nice in that regard...sometimes lol. My next bit of advice would be...don't come here looking for someone to 'help' you with this. That's a recipe for disaster, meaning that some nice, kind, gentleman/lady on the other side will say all the right things that you want to hear...to the extent that you are only more confused than ever. So, DO NOT look for someone. Instead, spend your time talking with others, and learning ABOUT YOURSELF from YOURSELF. Find things that interest you, things that you want to discuss...and then make informed decisions about whether or not you actually want to do those things. Also...get out there in the real world. Go to munches. Go to demos. Talk to people in the real world who are actually 'living' what interests you. Most important of all. Remember that you are a human being, and you deserve ...no DEMAND that you be treated as one. Don't let anyone try and tell you that you HAVE to act a certain way, because it's total bullshit, and the person saying it...is a fuck head [8D] Enjoy the experience of learning, and have fun while you are doing it. edited because, well...I can't fucking spell tonight.

winspiritsbaby -> RE: New anything will help (11/3/2011 9:22:27 PM)
Hi Sharpie and welcome to the threads... I'm a very private person when it comes to a lot of things. I talked with several Doms on here before Win came along. He had patience and understanding when it came to my shyness, so he took things pretty slow compared to most on here. He was able to draw out the information that he wanted because of how he approached me, not because he demanded or nagged to get it. Maybe you need the same kind of person to approach you (no, you can't have Win [:D]). I would suggest that you just keep looking for the person that makes you comfortable enough to want to open up.

Sharpieteal -> RE: New anything will help (11/3/2011 9:48:26 PM)
quote: IrishMist Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me soooooooo happy knowing people are out here like me, and your advice is really good. I've been searching in myself. And trying to find gatherings and stuff to go to, Im having problems finding them. (because a lot of links are for years ago.) But because of what you said Im going to go back up and edit my post, I dont want people to say the right things to me. I want a truthful person, that will be willing to talk to me first. And help me into this life style. : D quote: winspiritsbaby Thank you so much, like I said Up there. Im happy to know there are people like me, lol I would never ask for you Win. But someone like it sounds nice :3

HannahLynn -> RE: New anything will help (11/3/2011 11:34:43 PM)
yea, there's really only two things you need to know. 1) as a sub your job is pretty much to do what your fucking dom tells you to do. 2) until YOU decide somebody is your dom, you are an independant woman, so don't take any of the "a real sub would submit to the uber domly domliness LordSirMasterNetGeek #721" bullshit you are going to be bombarded with. p.s. you have really fucking kissable looking lips.

LrdSirMstrNetGek -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 12:22:19 AM)
Iggy her. She's a fake. Tru subbies kno they must obey teh Dominate men. That's the first rool. 2nd rool is sho ur boobies That's ur 1st command. Obey NOW!!!

IrishMist -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 12:23:29 AM)
quote: p.s. you have really fucking kissable looking lips. LMFAO As much as you annoy me sometimes Miss Hannah, I have to admit, you always make me laugh. [:D]

thishereboi -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 5:37:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LrdSirMstrNetGek Iggy her. She's a fake. Tru subbies kno they must obey teh Dominate men. That's the first rool. 2nd rool is sho ur boobies That's ur 1st command. Obey NOW!!! Someone please tell me this is a joke and so is his profile.[8\|] Seriously dude, how do you expect anyone to obey a man who talks like a 10 year old? OP you got some really good advice, so I am not going to repeat what you have already been told. Just trust your instincts and have fun.

DarkSteven -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 6:13:12 AM)
I'm a Dom. As such, I feel that the responsibility of the conversation is on me. So if I'm talking with a sub and she's shy or freezes up, I'll make the conversation light and maybe do more of the talking until she relaxes. In other words, relax and don;t think that you're solely responsible for the conversation.

Kana -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 6:20:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven I'm a Dom. As such, I feel that the responsibility of the conversation is on me. So if I'm talking with a sub and she's shy or freezes up, I'll make the conversation light and maybe do more of the talking until she relaxes. In other words, relax and don't think that you're solely responsible for the conversation. Course, Steven, it's hard for her to talk with your dick in her mouth :-)

searching4mysir -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 6:24:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LrdSirMstrNetGek Iggy her. She's a fake. Tru subbies kno they must obey teh Dominate men. That's the first rool. 2nd rool is sho ur boobies That's ur 1st command. Obey NOW!!! [image]local://upfiles/1228130/9F78529E02FF412F94F386DFA5C79A4E.jpg[/image]

LillyBoPeep -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 6:30:15 AM)
LrdSir is clearly a fake account; he's 45 and has 40 years of experience in the lifestyle. haha i find him pretty hilarious -- i mean,we've all run into guys like that who are serious. =p IrishMist's point about NOT looking for someone to "help" you is such a great point -- sometimes when you're very new, people can suck you in by saying "you need someone to mentor you and show you the ropes," which you can usually translate to mean "fuck you without really caring about you in the long-run." =p or they'll teach you all sorts of things that run counter to common sense, and when you're new, even if it doesn't make sense, you can come to doubt your own judgment. just try to talk to people, and learn about yourself -- when you're new, you dont have a whole lot of experience to go on as far as what you do or don't want, but a starting place, even if it changes, is better than nothing. define your standards, and don't let someone convince you or coerce you into doing something that seems "wrong" just because they claim "i have experience, and this is how it's done." usually when someone trots out anything alluding to "one true way" of doing this, they're talking out of their ass. good luck!

IrishMist -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 7:02:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven I'm a Dom. As such, I feel that the responsibility of the conversation is on me. So if I'm talking with a sub and she's shy or freezes up, I'll make the conversation light and maybe do more of the talking until she relaxes. In other words, relax and don't think that you're solely responsible for the conversation. Course, Steven, it's hard for her to talk with your dick in her mouth :-) Dayumit Kana....I spit coffee everwhere [>:]

Hisprettybaby -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 7:41:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep LrdSir is clearly a fake account Yeah, his name was made clearly to be an imitation of what Hannah said the OP should look out for. hahahahaha

HannahLynn -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 10:10:47 AM)
quote: Yeah, his name was made clearly to be an imitation of what Hannah said yea, that and the fact that he has george clooney's head badly photoshopped onto some generic body might just be a fucking tip off, eh?

kalikshama -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 2:12:27 PM)
quote: Since you are new, you are going to find that 99% of the people you talk to on the other side are fucking idiots. Straight up. They are after a quick lay, they are after a 'discreet' relationships because they are cheating on their other half, etc, etc. They are fuck heads What you should do, since you are new, is take some time to do some in depth research...not only the reading kind...but the deep, soul searching kind. My advice would be that if you really need to talk to someone, find someone on the boards that you connect with 'word wise', and then ask them some questions. Most of us are pretty nice in that regard...sometimes lol. My next bit of advice would be...don't come here looking for someone to 'help' you with this. That's a recipe for disaster, meaning that some nice, kind, gentleman/lady on the other side will say all the right things that you want to hear...to the extent that you are only more confused than ever. So, DO NOT look for someone. Instead, spend your time talking with others, and learning ABOUT YOURSELF from YOURSELF. Find things that interest you, things that you want to discuss...and then make informed decisions about whether or not you actually want to do those things. Also...get out there in the real world. Go to munches. Go to demos. Talk to people in the real world who are actually 'living' what interests you. Most important of all. Remember that you are a human being, and you deserve ...no DEMAND that you be treated as one. Don't let anyone try and tell you that you HAVE to act a certain way, because it's total bullshit, and the person saying it...is a fuck head Great advice! OP - I found some fun play partners on the other side but the majority of the mail I received was from [censored]. Relationship Guy found me on OKCupid. I put keywords in my profile there.

faithfulandloyal -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 2:59:58 PM)
i once had a Master tell me, the power is mine until the time i choose to give it just be careful who i give it to. if i am talking to a Master/Dom i do not just obey Them it takes time to get to know them.

Sharpieteal -> RE: New anything will help (11/4/2011 7:57:15 PM)
Yes, I've had lots of people saying that. Some say to obey right away, but I dont think I could. I want to know the person Ill be giving my whole trust too.

DarkSteven -> RE: New anything will help (11/5/2011 4:11:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sharpieteal Yes, I've had lots of people saying that. Some say to obey right away, but I dont think I could. I want to know the person Ill be giving my whole trust too. Look, forget for a moment about the kink aspect. If some guy walks into a bar and instantly walks up to a woman and says, "I want a relationship with you. Let's fuck.", you'd think he's nuts, an idiot, a serial killer, or has an STD. If someone pulls the same stuff here, no different. And if he wants you to submit online only, he's married.

IrishMist -> RE: New anything will help (11/5/2011 5:44:19 AM)
quote: And if he wants you to submit online only, he's married Not necessarily, DS. Some might be married, some might only be interested in the online aspect. It's unfair to automatically assume that they are married. As for the rest of what you said, I totally agree. When talking to someone on here, take away all the kink and leave nothing but man and woman. Interact in the same way you would if you had met him in a real life setting. Don't do something you would not normally do just because he says 'I am the Dom', you have to do what I say".

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