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Does a dom ever really let it go?


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Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 11:45:36 AM   
SweetEscravo


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After breaking up with my dom, and seeing him date another girl, I have been trying to go out and have some fun with other guys.  One things I really want to do over the summer is go out to local clubs to dance and meet new people...

When I mentioned this casually to my ex, he got angry at me.  He told me that he didn't think I should go because he doesn't want me to get hurt or be put in a bad situation with any men.  I wouldn't be going to these places alone though..ever..and wouldn't wander off with any strangers. 

My ex's reaction was angrier than I thought it would be and I kind of regretted bringing it up.  Because he used to be my daddy and master, I think his reaction might be based on our previous relationship and that he is honestly looking out for me.  However, when I told my friend C about this (a very close dominant male friend of mine who offered to take me to these clubs), C seemed to think that my ex was simply jelous and doesn't like the possibility of me meeting another man who could take his place.

I know that no one here really knows the situation too well, but based on your own experiences and what I have posted about in the past few weeks, which do you think it is?  Is an ex dom/master/daddy allowed to still have those controlling and sercurity feelings towards his sub?  Or does my ex's reaction just mean that he doesn't want to see me with another man?  Does the domiance ever really end after the relationship does?
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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 12:28:08 PM   
agirl


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 Could be for a few reasons ...including jealousy, protectiveness, slightly uncomfortable with your moving on........ Whatever he feels , he is *allowed* to feel it ...you can't allow or not allow feelings , they just are.

His reaction seems familiar to me, and may be nothing to do with his dominance, but more to do with simply *letting go* .

People STILL feel *attached* to their ex partners in some way, often, there's not a simple cut-off point to caring and being involved.

Have you asked him what he feels/thinks?

agirl

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 12:46:09 PM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Ok.,... I have read your threads on C and your exdom, and I have not contributed to the replies because I did not know what to say, but I have to ask, is this the same "ex" you just asked everyone if it was ok to have sex with? If it is the same one then I have to say his reaction it pretty normal considering he still thinks of you as someone he wants to have sex with again, and does not want you to have sex with others. Some men have this " I pee'd on that tree, stay away from my tree" mentality. Since he is seeing others, I would guess that in his mind it is ok to have this attitude, and I would not mistake it for really caring for you necessarily.. it could be more of a Alpha male wanting to keep his herd only his.

He might care for you, or he might see you as someone that he can bootycall. I really do not know, and no one can know. I certainly wouldn't be flattered by his "concern" or think he cared for me because he acted like that. But that is just how I am, I really have no use for jealousy, and I have never found it flattering.. I think "Neanderthal alert".. unless of course you are TRYING to make him jealous, then it is all just a bunch of drama anyhow



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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 12:53:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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It takes time to break out of behavior patterns we've grown into. 

A little voice also tells me that perhaps you told him your plans partially as a way to see exactly what his reaction WOULD be.

We're talking a few weeks here- in that time you've broken up, had an affair with someone else, considered having sex with the ex again and now this.  Safe to say no one's really left anything behind yet.

He can have whatever reaction he wants to have, in some ways his reaction is normal and understandable.  But that doesn't mean he has authority over you anymore.  Ask yourself "How would I react if I were completely secure, confident and had been single for a year?"

The answer should be:  Let him know you understand his concerns and are glad that he cares, but it's ultimately your choice.



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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 1:01:18 PM   
slavejlb


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to answer this question from a lonely old slave,
yes doms/master do really let go,. when the slave become old, and un-needed, when her breast are not longer prekie, and her hair has gone grey, she is easy to throw away, and move to someone younger, pretty, and one who lives closer. The old slave become like a once favorite tree when a puppy like to potty, but once she become old, and she starts to age, the puppy then fines a new place to move onto, The Master marked his terroirty, on place that now hangs like an old cow utter, while the young one carries master marke in small, hidden place, Once the old is mark, and the mark is no longer speical or unique, she becomes something that is easy to forget, beside it is true what they say, at least for a master/dom out of site out of mind, out with the old, tried, and hagger, and in with the new vibrant, and with her you dont have to waste gas or tear on your car of visit her. So let the old like socity old forgotten and un-needed fad away

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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 1:09:20 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Some dominants look for subs their own age slavejib. I have read many your age who search for women that are in their own age range. Not all people are the same.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 1:13:35 PM   
ADomDoc


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Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
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It would appear that all the responses here are spot on.  Though I'd only disagree that a sub loses a Dom just cuz her tits droop.  (Frankly ... that wouldn't drive me away ... perky tits are absolutely worthless for some types of heavy play :-)

ADomDoc 
SanAntonio

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RE: Does a dom ever really let it go? - 5/26/2006 1:46:34 PM   
composer83


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Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
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from my own experiences.... i would say that some of the old feelings still reside in  your X.....& if they were real they are likely to always remain.....to some degree or another....
but, be that as it may....does it warrent a jealous reacion?  NO...thats where the term "X" comes in to play....

~m

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