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RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:19:02 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Apparently your girlfriend had a different opinion on that, thus your name change. Her opinion on it takes priority in my opinion, too bad you don't show her the same respect we would and you are supposed to care about her.

Get on with your bad self then... how is that working for you?


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(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:30:35 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13

Why do people keep bringing up lifestyle...I NEVER (not in the post, on my profile, nowhere) did I mention I want a lifestyle domme.



When you bitched like a whiny toddler that no one would play with you without tribute, you were essentially saying you wanted a lifestyle domme.

Here it is in brass tacks, cookie. You may want to THINK you aren't cheating, but you are if you don't have an open relationship with your girlfriend and she is completely on board. The fact that you felt the need to change your username TELLS us you are a wanker with no honor. No one with any honor or self-respect would come close enough to you to use their mortal enemy's flogger on your sorry ass because frankly you aren't worth the time unless there is serious cash involved. You have NOTHING of value to offer....NOTHING.

The best thing your girlfriend could do is leave you in the dust.

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:31:24 AM   
SadisticMs2


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13

Why do people keep bringing up lifestyle...I NEVER (not in the post, on my profile, nowhere) did I mention I want a lifestyle domme. If I'm not mistaken, my profile says that I'm looking for a dominant female in north/central NJ...OR...an online from anywhere, meaning if they don't live close than online. And furthermore, I don't know why people consider it "cheating". In my opinion unless there is actual straight up sex where I'm penetrating another female or male. To me the BDSM world is not considered cheating.



It's not about what you consider cheating. It's about what your girlfriend considers cheating.

That's another one of those "gentleman" things.

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:34:35 AM   
USEmeABUSEmeNJ13


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/1/2011
Status: offline 		Ok...just to be clear...I'm not trying to get laid!!! My fetishes do not involve sex of any kind (unless Im getting it with a strap on). Other than that sex is one of my limits. Just so were all clear because I feel like people on this thread assume that I'm looking to have sex with anyone and that's not the case.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:36:23 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13

Why do people keep bringing up lifestyle...I NEVER (not in the post, on my profile, nowhere) did I mention I want a lifestyle domme. If I'm not mistaken, my profile says that I'm looking for a dominant female in north/central NJ...OR...an online from anywhere, meaning if they don't live close than online. And furthermore, I don't know why people consider it "cheating". In my opinion unless there is actual straight up sex where I'm penetrating another female or male. To me the BDSM world is not considered cheating.


Oh please
It's not cheating unless there's penetration...I see, so is that why you changed your screename? Because the gf was ok with your not cheating on her?
Does your dick get hard over BDSM?
BDSM is inextricably linked with sex, whether you have penetration or not. Which is why you're hiding your involvement in it. So if your gf was talking with some guy that she called Master, and he told her to strip and take pics of herself naked to send to him would that be ok with you? What if he told her to perform a sexual act upon herself and that he wanted to watch it on cam, how would that sit with you? Would that not be cheating because he wasn't sticking his dick in her but she used a dildo instead? Come on. Quit with the backpedaling, you sound more like a loser each time you do it.

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:39:50 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13

Ok...just to be clear...I'm not trying to get laid!!! My fetishes do not involve sex of any kind (unless Im getting it with a strap on). Other than that sex is one of my limits. Just so were all clear because I feel like people on this thread assume that I'm looking to have sex with anyone and that's not the case.







Attachment (1)

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:41:28 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Apparently your girlfriend had a different opinion on that, thus your name change. Her opinion on it takes priority in my opinion, too bad you don't show her the same respect we would and you are supposed to care about her.

Get on with your bad self then... how is that working for you?



Okay I have to come clean and admit it. There are times I just love me some Lockit !!

In a totally platonic and non-penetrating way, of course!!


_____________________________



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:44:23 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13

Ok...just to be clear...I'm not trying to get laid!!! My fetishes do not involve sex of any kind (unless Im getting it with a strap on). Other than that sex is one of my limits. Just so were all clear because I feel like people on this thread assume that I'm looking to have sex with anyone and that's not the case.


So getting it with a strap on isn't sex? You said before you weren't cheating because there wouldn't be penetration. You really can't keep your stories straight and are covering up things right and left. You also used the word fetish in the above quote which is about a sexual response to something non-sexual. So keep on digging yourself in deeper.

You are indeed looking for a lifestyle Domme, those are the women who don't necessarily charge although they generally want something out of the transaction like a relationship or service. This is why people are bringing it up

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 11:57:14 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		OP...

So it is pretty important to understand that for most people in the BDSM lifestyle, even the professionals...integrity is VERY important.  After all, how can you feel safe with someone when they get you into a compromising position if you don't feel they have high integrity?

And so what you have posted about your girlfriend and you does not seem credible, and it certainly does seem to lack integrity on your part.  Even if there is no sex...most BDSM scenes are comprised of very intimate acts.

A good rule of thumb is...if your girlfriend walked in on you in a session with the person you hope to meet...would she be hurt, surprised, offended, or feel betrayed by what she sees you doing?

If the answer is even MAYBE...then IMO you need to do two things before you proceed any further down this path:

1.  Really really think about what type of relationship you want to have in your life.
2.  Talk to your girlfriend about what you want.

It may be that she will be okay with it...or it may be that there are differences there that you cannot get past and you need to find someone with whom you can be more authentic.  This is not an unusual thing in this world.  People come to realizations that they are kinky and sometimes have to change their entire lives in order to have what they perceive as vital in their life. 

Rarely does it come without a cost, and I am not talking specifically about money.

We perceive you as very likely acting here without integrity and that there is someone close to you who would probably be hurt if she knew what you were engaging in.  Our words to you may seem harsh, but if so, then understand that many of us have walked through that fire to be where we are today.

If cash or a tribute is the greatest price you pay to get what you really need in your life, you should count yourself the most fortunate of men.




_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 12:20:39 PM   
USEmeABUSEmeNJ13


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/1/2011
Status: offline 		Ok...you've all made your points and believe me I do understand them all. I guess when it really comes down to it you all know more than I do (obviously) and I'll admit that I was and am wrong. When I started this thread I never thought I'd get the response that I did. Thank you all for helping me with my situation. I realize that what was said probably wasn't meant in a bad way rather to try and help me. Thank you all again.

-DJ

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Tributes... - 11/11/2011 12:28:57 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13

Why do people keep bringing up lifestyle...I NEVER (not in the post, on my profile, nowhere) did I mention I want a lifestyle domme. If I'm not mistaken, my profile says that I'm looking for a dominant female in north/central NJ...OR...an online from anywhere, meaning if they don't live close than online. And furthermore, I don't know why people consider it "cheating". In my opinion unless there is actual straight up sex where I'm penetrating another female or male. To me the BDSM world is not considered cheating.


Yep and oral sex doesn't count as intercourse.

You are totally missing the point.

Just a thought, does your girlfriend think that the "BDSM world" is cheating? Because if you really gave a shit about her, her opinion would count.

Oh yea, and if you are calling yourself a "sub" or a "dom" (domME would be for females doofus), and looking for a dominant or submissive PARTNER, it usually indicates some kind of relationship or "lifestyle."

(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Tributes... - 11/12/2011 9:23:26 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*votes that we keep SadisticMs2*


Sure!  I have an extra room and....

Oh.  You mean, keep her in the forums.

I guess I'm okay with that.  Hmmmph.


_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Tributes... - 11/12/2011 10:47:33 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Steven.. you SLUT!! ;)



_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Tributes... - 11/12/2011 11:12:20 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13
I'm not sneaking around on my girlfriend. This is not what she's into (and that's ok).

How can you say this ^^^^^ when you already said........
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13
I've been on here for a while (previously as dschmertz until my girlfriend found out I was on here and I changed my name).

If you weren't "sneaking around," you wouldn't have changed your username when she found out about you. Which makes me wonder, is the quote directly below a backpedal or a lie?
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13
As far as changing my name...I figured it represents me more with this lifestyle. She knows I go on here but she's not happy about it. She understands though that this is something I'm into and have been into (I've been on BDSM sites since before I was 18 so it's something that I like)

....Because you already said earlier on that you had to change your name when she found you on here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13
And another question...in my findings, I've noticed that most male Doms do not ask for tribute yet I'd venture to say 90% of female Dommes do. Why is that?

That's because they ask for blowjobs instead. Seriously.

As for.....
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13
And furthermore, I don't know why people consider it "cheating". In my opinion unless there is actual straight up sex where I'm penetrating another female or male. To me the BDSM world is not considered cheating.

...and...
quote:

ORIGINAL: USEmeABUSEmeNJ13
Ok...just to be clear...I'm not trying to get laid!!! My fetishes do not involve sex of any kind (unless Im getting it with a strap on). Other than that sex is one of my limits. Just so were all clear because I feel like people on this thread assume that I'm looking to have sex with anyone and that's not the case.

hahahahahahaha Bullshit. Tell me again, how strap-on is not penetrating. Explain that to me if you will. YOU are getting PENETRATED with strap-on play. It makes NO difference whether you are doing the penetrating or she is, it's still penetrative and sex. You'll be getting sexual jollies out of it.

Bottom line? You're just another do-me sub that wants a fetish-delivery system for free. Do-me subs that treat Dommes like fetish delivery systems are NOT thought well of by most of us. You want your kink catered to for free while you are cheating on your girlfriend behind her back and don't want to pay for it. Good luck with that.

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Tributes... - 11/12/2011 11:39:27 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl


hahahahahahaha Bullshit. Tell me again, how strap-on is not penetrating. Explain that to me if you will. YOU are getting PENETRATED with strap-on play. It makes NO difference whether you are doing the penetrating or she is, it's still penetrative and sex. You'll be getting sexual jollies out of it.



He seems to think it is only cheating if he is the penetrator instead of the penetratee and that if a strap on is used it isn't really sex.

LOL

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Tributes... - 11/12/2011 1:08:18 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
He seems to think it is only cheating if he is the penetrator instead of the penetratee and that if a strap on is used it isn't really sex.

LOL

hahaha He's deluded.

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Tributes... - 11/12/2011 1:14:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Or he ascribes to the Bill Clinton definitions of "sex"

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Tributes... - 11/14/2011 5:53:35 AM   
USEmeABUSEmeNJ13


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/1/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl


hahahahahahaha Bullshit. Tell me again, how strap-on is not penetrating. Explain that to me if you will. YOU are getting PENETRATED with strap-on play. It makes NO difference whether you are doing the penetrating or she is, it's still penetrative and sex. You'll be getting sexual jollies out of it.



He seems to think it is only cheating if he is the penetrator instead of the penetratee and that if a strap on is used it isn't really sex.

LOL



That's exactly how I see it. In my opinion, I'm not cheating if I get penetrated. I see it that way because than I'm not taking my penis and putting it into another womans pussy.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Tributes... - 11/14/2011 5:55:12 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		All righty then. Enjoy that hallucination.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to USEmeABUSEmeNJ13)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Tributes... - 11/14/2011 5:56:25 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		:: head desk::

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 60
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