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RE: Am I alone? - 10/23/2004 9:40:18 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtahGoddess

Don't get me wrong. I like to play and have fun as much as anyone else. But when I am in the public eye, I try and project the best image possible of what this lifestyle is about. I want people to see us and say to themselves "I want to be a part of that" not be horrified (or amused) by juvenile or inappropriate behavior.

Am I alone in my thinking? Is it wrong of me to expect a certain level of maturity?

Ms Sandi



Sandi,

Their behaviour was childish and unacceptable. Like you, I would have walked away as well and I would never associate with those people again.

You seem to me a woman with a lot of class, style and grace. I'd like to think we are similar that way. Unfortunately, I've learned that I cannot hold people up to my standards. However, I can decide who I wish to associate myself with.

Best of luck in finding more people in the same mindset as you in your vicinity. I also hope that the woman you wanted to introduce the lifestyle to will have another opportunity to meet a classier group.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Am I alone? - 10/23/2004 10:11:25 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		As I wouldn't throw food in a public resturant in a vanilla setting, I couldnt imagine throwing food in a public resturant in a BDSM gathering. It seems to me that some people may use certain social settings for inappropriate behavior. (Refers back to my argument about our society lacking common courtesy.)

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Am I alone? - 10/23/2004 7:46:09 PM   
danae


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottominwa

How old WERE these "Doms"? ... It's just plain bizarre,

sabrina King

House of King


My reaction exactly. I teach high school students, and expect to have to socialize them, but adults?

danae

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Am I alone? - 10/24/2004 5:45:07 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		One is somewhat forcibly brought to mind by this anecdote, that a great many of those in our community who do not actually have any real skill at social conduct, are often by inclination to be found behind a computer, and from thence they acquire invitation to a social outing of the sort you have described. I take great pride in being a "freak" and "outcast", they have made up a large portion of my ego-identity for the last twenty years, but even I draw the line at acting like an imbecile. You have my sincerest condolences. Even D&D playing scifi geeks have better manners than you have described here.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Am I alone? - 10/25/2004 5:42:43 PM   
ChrisGreen


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/9/2004
Status: offline 		I'd be appalled under any circumstance, OK, if you are at a private party in someone's house, fine, throw food if it is started by the host/s.

Not otherwise and certainly not in public.

Being dominant or confident is less about doing what you want, when you want, and more about taking care of people, being polite to all, not holding grudges and being tolerant of all people and their varied lifestyles and ideas.

It sounds like you had some juveniles who had not got past their teens, rather than adult members of the BDSM community.

Regards

_____________________________

Chris Green

Matron, sister or nurse wanted,
to administer discipline to unruly patient.

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Am I alone? - 10/25/2004 6:44:54 PM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Ms Sandi

You sure aren't alone -- i would have been embarassed!

*just shakes her head*



_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Am I alone? - 2/8/2005 7:26:39 PM   
DeadofKnight


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		No Sandy, you are not alone. Though, I might not have waited as long as you before leaving.
Childish games should be left to children, not adults representing what we do.

I know this is an old topic, Just wanted to hi to you and I agree, honour and nobility are part of me and mine in all of this life we lead.

Kinght

< Message edited by DeadofKnight -- 3/5/2005 8:42:37 AM >

_____________________________

Knight
These are my views and my opinions. Please treat them as such.
If you'd like to ask a question of my posts, mail me here on Collarme.
Mutually collared with hesterprynne

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Am I alone? - 2/9/2005 11:08:43 AM   
Powerful


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		Well maturity is not a fuction of age, but of personality. I know some younger people that I who are so mature, and older people who are so immature you wouldn't even believe that they 30+. Your personal preferece will guide what you want from a Man, and to think that a Man is going to be more mature based on age or some other factor can turn out to be false.

I have developed a maturity-0-meter, that can read how mature people are by just the flick of a switch. Available for only three installments 19.95.......

:-)

I don't think your ideas are too romantic or anything like that, romance is slowly dying. Few guys know what it is anymore, but there are a few left who know how to treat a girl (sub or non sub). It just takes time to find them. Good luck.

_____________________________

There is nothing so powerful as truth,—and often nothing so strange.

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Am I alone? - 2/9/2005 2:00:20 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		It's important to always be professional and curtious out in public when representing a group. How else will you gain more members and credibility if you're always acting like a fool? Stay true to yourself dear and you'll be in charge of you own Utah BDSM group has almost everyones respect.






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Am I alone? - 2/9/2005 5:44:48 PM   
Stern1960


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline 		Without offering ANY excuse for the behavior, and in support of the embarrassment many probably felt, this incident strikes me as a classic case of TP (Testosterone Poisoning). One sees it at sporting events, hockey games, “Tail Hook” conventions and the like. There’s a thread on another part of the forum, Hope This Doesn't Catch on in Phily , that illustrates this to the extreme. At least this guy, in the throws of a TP fit, administered his own cure.

If by garb or other accoutrements the group was clearly identified with the lifestyle, then they owe everyone an apology. If you intend to accompany them out in public again, perhaps you can convince them to dress up… as Republicans.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Am I alone? - 2/12/2005 7:24:16 AM   
Manawyddan


Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline 		My mouth fell open as I read your account. I have been to many munches in different parts of the country (and in England) and everyone there has always behaved like adults (sometimes geeky and socially clueless adults, but adults nevertheless). My sympathies to you and your friend.

(in reply to Stern1960)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Am I alone? - 2/12/2005 9:11:27 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottominwa

How old WERE these "Doms"? It just seems like the behaviour of immaturity or insanity...clearly it might put things into context were they all under 20?

sabrina King

House of King


Hi! I'm not saying I completely disagree with you but I would like to establish that age is by no means a suitable indicator of intelligence or maturity.

Before people look at my profile (or if they've met me whilst chatting through an instant messaging service) I'm often thought to be well over my age. I've encountered others who have placed me somewhere between the ages of thirty to sixty.

I endeavor to present myself in a mature manner unless I'm in the sort of company that applauds hanging from the chandeliers and even then I’m often the most reserved in the group.

Lastly, having worked with the general public in various ways while working for a grocery store I've seen just how incredibly messy people can be. It is quite annoying. And to toss food about is not only wasteful but in poor taste.

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 2/12/2005 9:17:40 PM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Am I alone? - 2/13/2005 9:54:15 AM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		While I have been known to be a cut up on occasion, there is a time and place.

If they are all being silly, perhaps it is because they are comfortable with each other and the closeness of the group.
If I was a t the munch, and someone threw a fry at me, and I was not "in" on the goofyness, I would be quite irked.
Not that that is what happened to you, but I agree that sometimes people have no couthe`.


Just because some one is able to be dressed up, does not mean that you can take them out to a fancy diner

*Diner spelled wrong on porpose... LOL.

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in. Mostly, I just look like an ass.

(in reply to compes)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Am I alone? - 2/13/2005 9:02:50 PM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		This is a prime example of why I don't attend any local "functions" and usually use the quote marks when I type dom in a sentence ("Doms")....

From what I see how people act and behave on here, its generally a damn fine indicator of how they'll be in real life, which generally embarrasses Me to even BEGIN to think of taking My girl to social function with any of the local population present....

well, that and from the folks I've talked to that actually have attended the local munches, its usually nothing more than a juvenile attempt at hooking up, a'la meat market style

I'm with You 100%, Sandi
-Trav-

(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Am I alone? - 2/14/2005 3:25:47 AM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtahGoddess

Half way through dinner the DOMS start tossing french fries accross the room at each other, escalating up to lettuce.

I was appalled and embarrassed. To make it worse, one of the participants looked at me laughingly and said "This is how we get kicked out of restaurants!" (As if it were a merit badge) I got up and made my exit.

Ms Sandi



There is no excuse for bad manners. Exiting was the best thing to do.


(in reply to UtahGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Am I alone? - 2/14/2005 9:16:46 AM   
Alexander


Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline 		I do not like throwing food. I like throwing lashes. Unfortunately I can not think of a favorite quote to throw at this post. Oh how about...?

I'm sorry, so sorry,- Patsy Cline version (Brenda Lee who?)

(in reply to compes)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Am I alone? - 2/14/2005 9:22:38 AM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		I always hear the phrase " Onethousand lashes with a wet noodle ! "......

I wonder if that would be acceptable.......

< Message edited by Darthbetta -- 2/14/2005 9:23:07 AM >

(in reply to Alexander)
Profile   Post #: 37
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