Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 2:11:39 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline

I've often seen public play at a club or venue, and partaken a good few times too lol.

As a sub in play I've never been bothered about who's watching, my attention is focused entirely on my Domme, like our own world. I remember she described it as the opposite, she became even more keenly aware of everyone around.

When watching play, I find it much more difficult to watch a person I know playing, than a relative stranger. I wince a lot more at the harsher punishments and often feel like I'm intruding. A relative stranger on the other hand is a completely different effect...

So I wonder on other's thoughts, does how much you know the voyeurs or participants affect your enjoyment?

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 2:31:16 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy
So I wonder on other's thoughts, does how much you know the voyeurs or participants affect your enjoyment?

I know my friends pretty well, re: what they're into, whether they're masochist or not, etc etc. So if something seems pretty intense IMO but they seem to be enjoying it, I'm just happy for them. If something that was really obviously wrong with a situation, I might go to the DM though. But we always go play at private parties where there is a regular group of people where various members will show up at each one.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I'M too intense because I can be sadistic at times, but I only let that part of me out with bottoms that I know LOVE that part of me, so all is good.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 2:43:48 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy

So I wonder on other's thoughts, does how much you know the voyeurs or participants affect your enjoyment?

I have been avoiding public scenes for this very reason, choosing to be on my own all these years and only getting out to munches recently...and might possibly go to play parties soon. I am a private person, not into voyeurism nor exhibitionism, and I always thought that scening with some bottom or sub in public would wreck my headspace, that I would be too aware of everyone in the room and less so of my sub. When I get a buzz during scening, it sharpens my focus tremendously; I am keenly aware of everything and I cannot imagine having this expand until I am grossly overloaded.

This past year and a half I have felt drawn to play parties and dungeons by my curiosity and fascination for different things, finding out other people's techniques and what they enjoy doing and how. I've been fighting it and losing. My thirst for more knowledge is too keen and must be satisfied, but it will have to wait until I am feeling more up to par and my energy is back.

At one of our groups (we go to KATS and MAsT) there is an owned fem sub who is so nice and fun to talk with and her Owner knows how to do needle corsets, cutting... *takes a moment to fan herself* ...and I want to watch them.

Back to the play party thing again, in general. I don't know about others, but if something sexually aroused me at one I would be horrified, lol. This is another reason I am leery of scening with my slave and yes, I am also WORRIED about getting a roaring buzz. These things have been private and yes, I am not expecting adjusting to this being easy. When I feel crowded it triggers panic attacks, but my boy knows what to do when I am having one.

I wonder, for others, what was the hardest part of being new to dungeons or play parties.

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 2:59:23 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i'm horrendously self conscious, so i do sometimes get preoccupied worrying about who is watching. i also worry that someone may not like something i do, and judge me negatively for that. =p
i haven't been to any public parties in quite a while. sometimes, too, it seems like people aren't very genuine because they are more interested in appealing to whoever is watching.

ANYWAY, when i HAVE gone to parties, i can feel for people i know in a different way than a stranger. someone i know, i can empathize with -- i'm familiar with their history, familiar with their buttons, if we've had conversations about this stuff, i kinda understand a little bit of their headspace so i can relate to them, at least with my interpretation of them...

a stranger is interesting to watch, but it's like watching a movie. there's not really any frame of reference.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 4:49:03 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy
I wince a lot more at the harsher punishments and often feel like I'm intruding.

I hope you mean "sessions". I would have serious reservations about witnessing a punishment in a public venue.

I love watching public play. I've picked up techniques and idea, and it's just plain fun.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 5:26:19 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy
I wince a lot more at the harsher punishments and often feel like I'm intruding.

I hope you mean "sessions". I would have serious reservations about witnessing a punishment in a public venue.

Me too.

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 6:24:59 PM

lelloy

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/11/2011
From: One end to the other, US
Status: offline

Y'know, I never thought of play parties as forms of voyeurism or exhibitionism. I've both watched and participated..and it just never fell into that category for me. In general I wince when anyone gets harsher treatment, regardless of how well I know them, though I'm more likely to comment if it's someone I know well. Having other people there doesn't make it more enjoyable, it just provides a safety net. I know my play group is well respected, respectful and if shit goes wrong someone is always there that knows what to do. There's plenty of flirting, but I put that firmly in the category of socializing.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 10:20:27 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy

I've often seen public play at a club or venue, and partaken a good few times too lol.

As a sub in play I've never been bothered about who's watching, my attention is focused entirely on my Domme, like our own world. I remember she described it as the opposite, she became even more keenly aware of everyone around.

When watching play, I find it much more difficult to watch a person I know playing, than a relative stranger. I wince a lot more at the harsher punishments and often feel like I'm intruding. A relative stranger on the other hand is a completely different effect...

So I wonder on other's thoughts, does how much you know the voyeurs or participants affect your enjoyment?

Well, as to voyeurism....I tend to prefer shopping malls, Nunneries or second story windows.

(But I'm a particular sort).

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Exhibitionism/voyeurism - strangers or friends? - 11/13/2011 10:49:45 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy
I wince a lot more at the harsher punishments and often feel like I'm intruding.

I hope you mean "sessions". I would have serious reservations about witnessing a punishment in a public venue.

I love watching public play. I've picked up techniques and idea, and it's just plain fun.

Yes I mean sessions, poor choice of words sorry

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 9