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Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 2:55:28 PM

jarlaxle

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

I am a male dom and am looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is. I realize that this will vary depending on the personal preferences of the subs. I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants. I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar? Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom. Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me and I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

Post #: 1

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 3:01:51 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jarlaxle

I am a male dom and am looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is. I realize that this will vary depending on the personal preferences of the subs.

Honesty and intelligence are important. Good communication skills.

quote:

I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants.

My ex and I discussed our needs and wants before getting into the relationship. Our contract included those things and was agreed upon by both of us.

quote:

I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar? Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom.

Yes, just like any other relationship between two people. If one person isn't happy, they always have the option of saying " buh bye"

quote:

Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me and I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

Good luck and welcome to collar me.

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Post #: 2

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 3:08:35 PM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

Rather than worrying about what random people online think is ideal, you could focus on determining what your ideal is, and shoot for that. When you're the best you that you think you can be, you'll find people who fit with that. Don't try to make yourself a collage of traits from a variety of different magazines. Focus on your brand, yourself, and build that.

If you want contracts as part of your relationships, then you're free to have them. Some people use them, some people don't. "Negotiating" also sometimes sounds too business-y for real life. A lot of that stuff comes out in the wash as you're getting to know each other and seeing how well you fit together.
(And of course, that can depend on the dynamic type -- a dynamic with love and sex involved will probably be different from one that functions without either of those things.)

Whether or not an s-person feels that s/he can "self-release" depends on the relationship. Some people think each party has equal ability to decide "this isn't working for me, so ta ta for now." Other people in other types of relationships strive for a state where the s-person believes that leaving is not an option. And yes, some s-people want those kinds of relationships, so it isn't all imposed on them by Dominants.

Anyway, good luck and welcome to CM. Read the old threads here, or poke around on Fetlife. Or use Google. There's also a great reference list of BDSM literature. Learn about yourself, learn about different dynamics, figure out what you want, and go for that.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/13/2011 3:09:37 PM >

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Post #: 3

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 3:10:57 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jarlaxle

I am a male dom and am looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is. I realize that this will vary depending on the personal preferences of the subs. I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants. I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar? Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom. Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me and I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

Ideal is subjective.
Any guy who approached me about a contract would instantly tell me that we weren't a match...although I'm pretty sure I would have known it by that point.
My relationship is just that, a relationship. Why would I have a contract with my lover, my best friend, my guy?
Contracts are for jobs or for the type of people that think a bdsm relationship is different, more special, or more fantasy based than any other kind of relationship.

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Post #: 4

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 3:56:08 PM

jarlaxle

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

I have a general idea of what I want but it is not easy to find someone that meets those traits. I. Joined this site hoping that by talking with people on here I might get lucky enough to find the right sub for me. I am looking for a sub that will give me complete control to test the bounds of their pleasure and pain.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 5

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 4:00:14 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Unless you had a profile prior to this one, you've been on the site for a day.
People look for years to find the right match. Contracts don't equal chemistry.

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Post #: 6

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 4:06:02 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

I think I need new glasses, because I could have sworn you just asked if a sub has to wait to be released before he/she can leave a relationship, and surely that couldn't be.

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Post #: 7

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 4:09:47 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jarlaxle

I am a male dom and am looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is. I realize that this will vary depending on the personal preferences of the subs. I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants. I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar? Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom. Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me and I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

well first off its Ideal - not idel. And of course it will be different from person to person. Thats pretty obvious..
Different people are into different kinks, and not everyone is into contracts. If you are, find the subs that are into them. And deal with the contract however you want to. If you let the sub or slave set the rules on how you want your contract to be, dude you got problems.

People can leave you for whatever reason they want to. They are not legally by any means obligated to stay with you for any reason. Any lawyer will tell you that. So your release from a collar dealio is just a fantasy that you and your other play into as much as you want to, until she decides to split.

A subject? Like a lab specimen of sorts? wtf????

and of course you want someone to worship you, lives to please you ... and blah blah blah ..... god =I cant even repeat it. Get your ego in check please. You are not that great, and just by you saying that ..YUCK !!!

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by JanahX -- 11/13/2011 4:11:47 PM >

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Post #: 8

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 4:46:54 PM

winspiritsbaby

Posts: 141
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jarlaxle

I am a male dom and am looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is. I realize that this will vary depending on the personal preferences of the subs. I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants. I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar? Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom. Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me and I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

My ideal Dom, is 6'2" and 225 lbs. He listens to my opinions and feelings before he makes decisions. He makes the best decision for us while keeping in mind my needs and wants as well. He does not abuse the trust I have in him and constantly lives up to the respect and trust that he has.
Contract? Win and I don't have a contract. Our relationship (not a business) is based on two people who share interests in and out of bed. We talk, we don't negotiate.

Subject? WTF? This seems to have went from a business arrangement to royalty? A person, Dom or sub, has the right to walk out of a relationship at any point. One does not need to get permission in order to do so.

Master is a title that is earned. You should strive to be the best Dom possible and then look for someone who fits in with your needs/likes/dislikes and all that. Then spend time building the relationship as a whole and maybe just maybe, someday, you will earn that title and all that goes with it.

(in reply to jarlaxle)

Post #: 9

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 5:03:19 PM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Ideal, as others have said is ENTIRELY subjective. What I think is ideal is probably not going to be the same as anyone else's version of ideal. Ideal is dependent on compatibility. Seeing as everyone is different, compatibility for them is going to be very specific to them as a person. For me, "ideal" is my Master. He's great for me. He most likely wouldn't be so great for someone else. So it's essentially useless to ask everyone here what the ideal dominant is.

As for contracts, not everyone has one. If it's something you want, that's fine, whatever works for you. I have one. My advice on contracts: if you are going to have a contract, that is absolutely something that should be discussed and negotiated between the two of you. It should be a mutual thing that you both agree on 100%

And on the subject of "release." Obviously, technically anyone has the right to leave a relationship. However, as far as I am concerned, I do not have the moral right to leave this collar and this relationship unless our contract has been broken. Legally, I can leave, but personally I do not feel that I have that right. And I stick to my principles. A lot of people see this issue differently. Just depends on how they want their relationship to work.

(in reply to jarlaxle)

Post #: 10

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 5:39:51 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Fella, I looked at your profile. The focus is off. You are focusing on the relationship you want, not the person.

Also, you sound like you want TPE right off the bat. Even an experienced Master would want to ease into things. You have no experience - why would any woman give herself fully up to you right away? In vanilla life, you'd have a few dates before proposing marriage - same in the kink world.

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Post #: 11

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 5:55:41 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is

Well, human, would be a good place to start.

quote:

about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants

I don't do contracts. If others wish to use one, that's their business...personally, I have no use for them.

quote:

I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar?

Walking out the front door and saying good bye seems to work the best.

quote:

Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore

Yes

quote:

does the sub have to be released by the dom

No

quote:

Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me

Good luck with that.

quote:

I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

As I said, good luck...I hope you find what you are searching for.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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Post #: 12

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 5:58:34 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

and what would qualify you to be a Lord? And how have you proven yourself in the past to be one or to be recognized as one?

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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Post #: 13

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 6:20:49 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jarlaxle

I am a male dom and am looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is. I realize that this will vary depending on the personal preferences of the subs. I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants. I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar? Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom. Ideally I want to find a sub that worships me and lives to please me and I strive to be the Master or Lord that is deserving of that Love Respect and Obedience!

You are asking opinions instead of having one.

I would never ask a man what he thought my ideal man would be.

Contracts are for business, not relationships.

All relationships in life are negotiated.

Stop trying to be a Lord or Master and start figuring out how to approach women as people first, and not objects of BDSM fantasy.

(in reply to jarlaxle)

Post #: 14

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 6:33:11 PM

lelloy

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/11/2011
From: One end to the other, US
Status: offline

I believe that all relationship, even D/s ones are reciprocal and so contracts should be negotiated. By that same token, when someone decides the relationship is over that's it, it's over. With contracts, I think it's preferable that the people involved try to last the agreed upon time but if they can't I don't think much can be said. In most cases I don't think contracts are necessary, they only mean as much as the participants are willing to give them meaning.

Ideal Dom/mes... Honest, Trustworthy, realistic, funny... All the things I look for in vanilla partners with the added benefit of having enough experience.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 15

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 7:17:38 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

My ideal partner would be a good man and a good leader. I tend to hone in on men that have good relationships with their loved ones, are active, and make well thought out, fair, decisions.

I don't do contracts, I don't feel life is that black and white, and I don't like having things happen that don't live up to what is asked for...I prefer to do the best I can and feel that the person I am with also does the same.

The sub does not have to be released, I've walked away from things/people that didn't work for me and I wasn't struck by lightning.

(in reply to jarlaxle)

Post #: 16

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 7:19:47 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

If I had an ideal Master, why would I need a contract? We'd be compatible. We'd be in sinc. Oh...yes, that is what I have. We have no contract at all. We have a relationship instead.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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Post #: 17

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/13/2011 10:16:40 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jarlaxle

...looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an ideal master is.

For starters, someone that ISN'T so widly fucking stupid and insecure:

1) To have stated, "I want to find a sub that worships me..."

2) That they actually believe in BDSM "Contracts".

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Post #: 18

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/14/2011 12:28:25 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Write a contract up ahead of time without knowing her or her life? Ridiculous.
So you could demand she be naked all the time but she's a single parent. How's that going to work?

The purpose of a contract is in the writing. You both write out what you need. What you have to have and what you cannot tolerate. If it doesn't take you quite a while to discuss everything, then you're doing it wrong.

And after you've written it out and learned all about each other? Toss it. It isn't worth the paper it's written on. You can announce all you want that she may not leave without permission, but one attempt to keep her by force will get you arrested for kidnapping.

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Post #: 19

RE: Ideal masters? Contracts? - 11/14/2011 6:28:44 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

looking for opinions from female subs about what their idea of an idel master is.

She's female.

quote:

I am also curious about contracts and how subs feel about them should they be negotiated or just presented to the sub based on what the dom wants.

Neither, they should be discarded.

quote:

I am also interested in the opinions of subs about how they can be released from a collar?

By unbuckling it.

quote:

Can a subjust decide to not be collared anymore or does the sub have to be released by the dom.

The sub decided to be collared, the sub can decide not to be collared.

(in reply to jarlaxle)

Post #: 20

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