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RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/15/2011 12:20:50 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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It depends on what the divides are I guess... and depends on the people. I don't have an issue with meat eating dominants, for example, but he'd have to understand that eating it myself would jeopardize my health. I can still cook and all that (I cooked for my last guy and he was pretty attached to meat) so it doesn't interfere there if that's what's required.

It just depends on what things are integral to who you are, and how the other person regards those things.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 21

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/16/2011 8:30:19 AM

daydreambliever

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/28/2011
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@Ebil lol..can I ask u does chastity arouse submissives who engage in it? It arouses me...but it pleased me and my Vanilla gf at the time for me to be caged in the curve which could not contain me btw lol

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 22

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/16/2011 1:38:13 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

hi what is true submission by ur standard? I know u didnot ask my opinion but its a free country ;) If I may.::: I believe it to be giving up self-satisfaction. Of this I am not interested. I want to be satisfied through submission. Where am I wrong? am I?

I think you're maybe confused because you're using the same words for different things?

Generally when Dommes say "giving up self-satisfaction" they mean you do it because they want you to, not because you want to... like, washing my feet because I want a footbath right now, not because you want to touch my feet and wank off to them right now.-- Which isn't the same as "satisfaction as a sub", which is the overall sense of satisfaction and happiness you feel having done things for your Domme that she wanted you to do. The two re related, but not the same.

The question of whether you should be sexually aroused through submission, that's a personal philosophy thing, I suppose. Some Dommes like that you're aroused but can't do anything about it. Some Dommes are disgusted that you would even be aroused... some Dommes just act/think that way because some subs like it that way.

"True Submission", as you say, ignoring the stigma of words like "real" and "true", I think they're referring to whether your heart is really in the act of serving, as opposed to if it's just some excuse for you to get close to them or a pretext to sex with them. D/s to me should be a mental thing, an emotional thing. It should not be a physical means of getting into anyone's pants. When sex becomes the only goal, everything else is just "fake". Lets go back to the feetwashing example. When you're washing the Domme's feet, the lifestyle Domme usually wants you to enjoy washing her feet as the act itself, "washing her feet for her", not because you're busy thinking of how hard you are right now while you're doing the washing... it usually means you're doing a very bad job of what you're supposed to be doing because you're all focused on your erection and the sex you could be having, know what I mean?

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 23

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/17/2011 9:54:28 AM

daydreambliever

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/28/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

hi what is true submission by ur standard? I know u didnot ask my opinion but its a free country ;) If I may.::: I believe it to be giving up self-satisfaction. Of this I am not interested. I want to be satisfied through submission. Where am I wrong? am I?

I think you're maybe confused because you're using the same words for different things?

Generally when Dommes say "giving up self-satisfaction" they mean you do it because they want you to, not because you want to... like, washing my feet because I want a footbath right now, not because you want to touch my feet and wank off to them right now.-- Which isn't the same as "satisfaction as a sub", which is the overall sense of satisfaction and happiness you feel having done things for your Domme that she wanted you to do. The two re related, but not the same.

The question of whether you should be sexually aroused through submission, that's a personal philosophy thing, I suppose. Some Dommes like that you're aroused but can't do anything about it. Some Dommes are disgusted that you would even be aroused... some Dommes just act/think that way because some subs like it that way.

"True Submission", as you say, ignoring the stigma of words like "real" and "true", I think they're referring to whether your heart is really in the act of serving, as opposed to if it's just some excuse for you to get close to them or a pretext to sex with them. D/s to me should be a mental thing, an emotional thing. It should not be a physical means of getting into anyone's pants. When sex becomes the only goal, everything else is just "fake". Lets go back to the feetwashing example. When you're washing the Domme's feet, the lifestyle Domme usually wants you to enjoy washing her feet as the act itself, "washing her feet for her", not because you're busy thinking of how hard you are right now while you're doing the washing... it usually means you're doing a very bad job of what you're supposed to be doing because you're all focused on your erection and the sex you could be having, know what I mean?

After reading the Ms.' thoughtful profile I am disappointed in the stereotypes mentioned i.e. "touch my feet ..." but why to the vllainous extent of wanting to "wank off right now" lol with all do resect I do desire to be humbled by "touching" or serving one of the most humbling portions of the body to be a servant of. But how could a Superior understand this?
I dont like the disconnect between the hetero-sexual(non-sissified) males' biological response, erections and salivating lol, and the respective "act of submission". Might this be a training point of "personal philosophy"? If it is a prerequisite, it would disqualify me- I feel- unfairly. I am open to my mentality being arranged to not have this response triggered...?

(in reply to Alecta)

Post #: 24

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/17/2011 1:39:27 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

After reading the Ms.' thoughtful profile I am disappointed in the stereotypes mentioned i.e. "touch my feet ..." but why to the vllainous extent of wanting to "wank off right now" lol with all do resect I do desire to be humbled by "touching" or serving one of the most humbling portions of the body to be a servant of. But how could a Superior understand this?
I dont like the disconnect between the hetero-sexual(non-sissified) males' biological response, erections and salivating lol, and the respective "act of submission". Might this be a training point of "personal philosophy"? If it is a prerequisite, it would disqualify me- I feel- unfairly. I am open to my mentality being arranged to not have this response triggered...?

I made up an example and pushed it to the more extreme ends so a difference can clearly be seen? I think feetwashing came to mind because of your profile pic lol Do note, what I originally said is not my philosophy or view on "true submission", but my trying to interpret what you were confused about to help you better understand where the confusion was. Once you have thought about the distinctions and points of confusion/misunderstanding, it'll help you craft a better introduction to yourself so that others can clearly understand what you want and you be able to understand others' introductions better.

I disagree with you feeling that a Superior cannot understand what an inferior is after. Being Superior, is it no possible that he or she is capable of greater capacity of understanding than yo and therefore able to understand without being one him or herself? Granted it doesn't mean that EVERY one of the betters understand everything, it is still an open possibility that should not be discarded just because of labels.

If by "humbled" you mean truly the feeling of being humbled and not as a euphemism for being turned on, then actually, that is the "non-sexual feeling of submission". You're already feeling it, you just didn't realise it is described or thought of in this way. It is not a "disconnect" from the biological sexual response, it is that you enjoy the act for itself, not because it is sexual to you. Hm. I guess another example for something close to the difference in the feelings is enjoying a particular food because you like it, not because you are hungry?

There is no argument for what each person prefers. There is an argument for forcing the other person to unwillingly accept what you prefer.

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 25

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/17/2011 8:20:20 PM

switchblademoi

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/26/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

hi what is true submission by ur standard? I know u didnot ask my opinion but its a free country ;) If I may.::: I believe it to be giving up self-satisfaction. Of this I am not interested. I want to be satisfied through submission. Where am I wrong? am I?

Generally, when someone says "true" anything -- be it submissive, sports fan, or whatever -- they mean: "The way I do this is correct; others who do it in another way are incorrect." The word "true" is nothing more than someone patting themselves on the back that their subjective belief is the best belief.

In my view, the term "true submissive" is meaningless, because there is no such thing.

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 26

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/17/2011 8:25:51 PM

switchblademoi

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/26/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: c

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Can you expand on what you mean? I believe the satisfaction comes from the dynamic that you and and your partner create, whatever that may look like.

I am responding to a typic that is prevalent on many female Domme's ads particularly pro-dominatrices....They say if u want to find arousal from service then this is not true submission. They say "if u r interested in TRUE submission then contact me..."

Sometime I write my interests and Dominants will claim to be turned off by my "submission being directly linked to their ability to arouse me."(their words not mine)

Not sure why that would true off a pro, to be honest. Most pro dommes don't give a damn whether you are aroused from service as long as you pay their bill.

As far as non-pro dommes, generally I find that they aren't interested in hearing what arouses a sub in the initial discussions. They want you to approach them in a polite way, not much differently than if you were a man approaching a woman on a vanilla dating site. Most dommes don't want to know about your kinks, and what arouses you, until you get to know each other as people first.

Based on the way you are presenting yourself in this thread, the problem you're having with dommes may well be that you are too focused on your kinks and what you want, and you're thinking of the dommes as cardboard cutouts that can help you get off, as opposed to being real people who have a full life, where BDSM is only a small point.

< Message edited by switchblademoi -- 11/17/2011 8:30:06 PM >

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 27

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/22/2011 8:05:00 AM

daydreambliever

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/28/2011
Status: offline

quote:

thinking of the dommes as cardboard cutouts that can help you get off, as opposed to being real people who have a full life

Awesome more stereotypes! hooray!!! & From a party who was not asked i.e. "Ask A Mistress" thank you male switch for your help... :!

My generation is generally open and its has allowed for me to have been successfully seeking submissive lifestyle(w/ and w/o my preferred "kinks") since adulthood and engaged in what's being referred to as "my kinks" since toddler age. i have learned that more peeps on this site than I thought agree that: people are different & no one can read minds.

So directly to u faceless pic-less switchblade(a username non-indicative of a D/s switch mind u-swissarmy knife would have been better, no?) ur profile clearly outlines your idea of BDSM as "kinks" i.e. "BDSM is a small part of your life..." "need someone to hold a convo as well as a whip" "find someone... inside and outside of the bedroom." "not interested in someone's BDSM proclivities" obnoxious bigotry period. Typical inferior inexperienced cockamamy male authority speaking here. Yes you read that correctly i said "cockamamy".

< Message edited by daydreambliever -- 11/22/2011 8:23:32 AM >

(in reply to switchblademoi)

Post #: 28

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/22/2011 9:55:27 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

FR

OP - have you read the FAQs that are pinned to the top of the discussion board?

When switchblademoi said this:

quote:

As far as non-pro dommes, generally I find that they aren't interested in hearing what arouses a sub in the initial discussions. They want you to approach them in a polite way, not much differently than if you were a man approaching a woman on a vanilla dating site. Most dommes don't want to know about your kinks, and what arouses you, until you get to know each other as people first.

he was right on the money. Dommes are women first. They are people and need to be approached as people. I may be a slave, but I've seen them post this time and time again in here. Time and effort went into the FAQs by these women so it would be a good idea to read them and take them to heart.

As to whether or not switchblademoi (or even I) can post in this forum (since we are not dommes), there are no rules about who can post where and on what threads. Once you start a thread anyone can post on it. You don't control it. Now, you can choose to hide people that you don't want to listen to, but you cannot dictate to them where they can post or what they can post (well, you can try but it won't do you any good).

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 29

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/22/2011 10:33:57 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

quote:

thinking of the dommes as cardboard cutouts that can help you get off, as opposed to being real people who have a full life

Awesome more stereotypes! hooray!!! & From a party who was not asked i.e. "Ask A Mistress" thank you male switch for your help... :!

My generation is generally open and its has allowed for me to have been successfully seeking submissive lifestyle(w/ and w/o my preferred "kinks") since adulthood and engaged in what's being referred to as "my kinks" since toddler age. i have learned that more peeps on this site than I thought agree that: people are different & no one can read minds.

So directly to u faceless pic-less switchblade(a username non-indicative of a D/s switch mind u-swissarmy knife would have been better, no?) ur profile clearly outlines your idea of BDSM as "kinks" i.e. "BDSM is a small part of your life..." "need someone to hold a convo as well as a whip" "find someone... inside and outside of the bedroom." "not interested in someone's BDSM proclivities" obnoxious bigotry period. Typical inferior inexperienced cockamamy male authority speaking here. Yes you read that correctly i said "cockamamy".

Daydreamdude: See how you spoke to that man? EVERYONE WHO SEES YOUR PROFILE CAN CLICK AND SEE THAT TOO. We can all see that you were nasty and insulting to a stranger on the internet, evidently because of some fit of entitlement.

Guess what? We dominant women look at that kind of thing. We look at how you speak to ALL women, and ALL men, because we want your respect to be sincere, not some show you are offering us because you want your dick to get wet.

But don't bother listening to me, I'm just a dominant woman.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 30

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/22/2011 10:10:23 PM

daydreambliever

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/28/2011
Status: offline

We look at how you speak to ALL women, and ALL men, because we want your respect to be sincere, not some show you are offering us because you want your dick to get wet.

But don't bother listening to me, I'm just a dominant woman.
[/quote]

please sincerely believe this: my respect is not for "ALL women and ALL men." I have a sincere disdain for the outspoken-dimwit and the apathetic-bigot and the perp. of stereotypes. What good is devotion if it can apply to "ALL" men and women? How can one be sincere, and at the same time censor themselves for the sake of being conscious of what "We can all see"?

Dommes I found compatibility with weren't turned off by my honesty and enjoyed the challenge of correcting what is misconstrued for "nastiness". She might welcome my eagerness to utilize my gifts to make her life more comfy. And she will not necessarily agree with the ill-will I have for repeated obtuseness i.e."getting your dick wet..." -redonkuloso...- but she may understand how misvillainization can be frustrating. Lastly I will quote a cool Lady's profile that I have been cyber-stalking ;)

"I have no reason to choose someone who does not value himself as much as he values me."
"Why would we WANT someone that doesn't care WHO he serves, but will take any woman who looks interested?" "It is better to be "alone" than to be shackled to the wrong person."

There is so much more...(everyone should read) what a Dreamer u seem to be hehehe ;p

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 31

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/22/2011 10:41:27 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Good luck with that, dude. Even in modern culture, where mean spiritedness passes for wit, meanness shows.

I'm sure there's a person who "speaks her mind" with no thought of others who will be just right for you.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 32

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/23/2011 3:30:21 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

I am lost a bottom , a submissive what is the difference? A top is a dominant
a bottom is or is not a submissive?

mons thanks

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 33

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/23/2011 5:45:53 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

I am lost a bottom , a submissive what is the difference? A top is a dominant
a bottom is or is not a submissive?

mons thanks

Not necessarily. If a Dominant is also a Masochist, then his Submissive might service top him.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 34

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/23/2011 6:00:21 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

I am lost a bottom , a submissive what is the difference? A top is a dominant
a bottom is or is not a submissive?

mons thanks

Not at all. Dominant and submissive are relationship terms. Top and bottom are scene terms. It just so happen that Doms and subs Top and bottom in scenes a lot, but it's entirely possible to have service-oriented Doms and subs that do not scene at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

Dommes I found compatibility with weren't turned off by my honesty and enjoyed the challenge of correcting what is misconstrued for "nastiness". She might welcome my eagerness to utilize my gifts to make her life more comfy. And she will not necessarily agree with the ill-will I have for repeated obtuseness i.e."getting your dick wet..." -redonkuloso...- but she may understand how misvillainization can be frustrating. Lastly I will quote a cool Lady's profile that I have been cyber-stalking ;)

We had someone else here who pulled that shit. He had a fantasy about being nasty enough that a Domme would discipline him. Sort of resistance play. Instead of negotiating for it, he just pulled his nastiness on one and all, hoping to draw someone in.

He's no longer here but is pissing off lots of folks on Fetlife now. With a similar lack of results.

That's not cool. I'm a Dom, and love to Dominate women. That does NOT mean that I approach all women here and try to make them fit my dynamic.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 35

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/23/2011 10:34:18 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm glad I waited and didn't respond to this. I wanted to see a bit more and I got an eye full. Not worth it. Not my job to assist with a mouthy-young-buck-a-wannabe that knows how it has to be to be true, but hates stereotypes when he can accuse someone of it and it benefits him in his own mind and is exactly what he is doing by creating a stereotype thread about true slaves.

Gotta love the irony.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 36

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 11/24/2011 9:08:43 AM

daydreambliever

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/28/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'm glad I waited and didn't respond to this. I wanted to see a bit more and I got an eye full. Not worth it. Not my job to assist with a mouthy-young-buck-a-wannabe that knows how it has to be to be true, but hates stereotypes when he can accuse someone of it and it benefits him in his own mind and is exactly what he is doing by creating a stereotype thread about true slaves.

Gotta love the irony.

quote:

how it has to be to be true

"how it has to be to be true" -Lockit- lmao.
@drksteve Im not at all a brat, and recognize those who were pissed off as those who are piss off-able... I am confident that competence, aptitude for thought, and honesty will prevail. I've done nothing to offend the Confident Goddess I seek. What is nasty is repeated references to my submission being "euphemisms" for sexual shtuff. What's "not cool" is a sliding scale -even according to you-. Whats not cool is your removing and redefining important words from my sentences in order to villainize my desires. What silly non-empathetic jib-jabbing going on here. Too bad for you few.

< Message edited by daydreambliever -- 11/24/2011 9:09:24 AM >

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 37

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 12/18/2011 7:07:03 PM

coldblue29

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline

Ive heard the "true" word tossed about countless times. Webster:
true
adj \ˈtrü\
tru·er tru·est

a: steadfast, loyal b: honest, just c archaic: truthful

I think in the case of a true sub or a true dom/domme, most people are talking about whether you "switch" or not.

Personally, I never switch, but I also never like to use the term "true" either as it seems to be more of an opinion than anything.

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 38

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 12/18/2011 8:14:01 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

please sincerely believe this: my respect is not for "ALL women and ALL men." I have a sincere disdain for the outspoken-dimwit and the apathetic-bigot and the perp. of stereotypes. What good is devotion if it can apply to "ALL" men and women? How can one be sincere, and at the same time censor themselves for the sake of being conscious of what "We can all see"?

Sincerity and good manners are not exclusive of one another. I believe it's called tact, which I like to define as the ability to tell someone to go to hell and have them smile and thank you for it.

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 39

RE: am I wrong? am I? - 12/18/2011 9:28:02 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daydreambliever

hi what is true submission by ur standard? I know u didnot ask my opinion but its a free country ;) If I may.::: I believe it to be giving up self-satisfaction. Of this I am not interested. I want to be satisfied through submission. Where am I wrong? am I?

I think there is no such thing as "true" here. What is "true" submission(or Domination for that matter) depends upon the people in the dynamic and what they believe is true for them and what they want in their relationship. What I want in a submissive, the next Domme may think is pure bullshit and that's her right to do so. I want a sub to be fulfilled by submitting to me, but if he happens to get aroused by doing so it wouldn't make his submission any less real for me. On the other hand, if he was doing so ONLY to get aroused, then I would reconsider how real it was. Does that make sense?

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to daydreambliever)

Post #: 40

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