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question - 11/17/2011 11:46:01 AM

mstmast

Posts: 20
Joined: 7/26/2011
Status: offline

hello all
i have question for slaves and sub
If you are a married man or woman slave.
who will respect more your husband or wife / master or mistress

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 12:08:40 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

My master is my (future) husband. I'm monogamous and don't play outside of my relationship.

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 12:11:17 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

why would you have to respect one more than the other?

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(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 12:14:33 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

If I were married and had two different people in these two roles, in the end I'd respect my husband more. I tend to be very traditional in my outlook, and if I were married I'd have gone into that with the idea that it was for life. That tends to cancel out anything less.

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 1:14:25 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

If I were married and had two different people in these two roles, in the end I'd respect my husband more. I tend to be very traditional in my outlook, and if I were married I'd have gone into that with the idea that it was for life. That tends to cancel out anything less.

This

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(in reply to Killerangel)

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 3:57:56 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

If I were married and had two different people in these two roles, in the end I'd respect my husband more. I tend to be very traditional in my outlook, and if I were married I'd have gone into that with the idea that it was for life. That tends to cancel out anything less.

This

Also consider that when one marries, they agree to put that person above all others (except their children, theoretically). If one is a married slave (with consent of the spouse), is it fair or reasonable of the master to demand their time and attention over the spouse? For instance, is it fair for a master to tell a slave they should miss spending a holiday with their spouse because the master "requires" their service at this time? If the master does that, they are an ass. If the slave agrees to it, their marriage is not likely to survive.

ETA:

A marriage is always, or should always be the primary relationship. Which means that when push comes to shove, that dominant/master is going to come second. You list as a master, so is that what you want? To know you can or eventually might come second?

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 11/17/2011 4:00:21 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 4:23:13 PM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

My master is my (future) husband. I'm monogamous and don't play outside of my relationship.

This. It's as simple as that.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

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RE: question - 11/17/2011 6:18:23 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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If you are honest with your spouse and your dominant, then there shouldn't be a problem. Both of them should want you to be happy. Which requires them talking to each other.

Lady Pact is a married dominant and her sub is also married. There is constant communication between all so that there are no conflicts. She's insistent on him keeping his marriage strong, and as a result, her orders frequently are for the benefit of his marriage.
You might benefit by searching out her posts on the topic and seeing how such a relationship can thrive when everyone puts each others best interests first.

There is no need for these relationships to conflict and be adversarial if you've picked healthy and secure partners.

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(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

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RE: question - 11/18/2011 1:56:50 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

If I were married and had two different people in these two roles, in the end I'd respect my husband more. I tend to be very traditional in my outlook, and if I were married I'd have gone into that with the idea that it was for life. That tends to cancel out anything less.

This

Ditto

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(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: question - 11/18/2011 2:05:43 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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Master is my husband, so it's a moot point for me.

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(in reply to SoulAlloy)

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RE: question - 11/18/2011 5:30:06 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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If I were to get involved with a mess like this, I'd make damn sure that it was clear who was in charge when. I can't imagine taking a married woman who was living with another man, etc., though.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: question - 11/18/2011 5:35:34 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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I respect his marriage, he respects mine, I respect his spouse, he respects mine.

If it stops being mutual, then it will be worked on together, all four opinions are as valid and respected.

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/ \

\(•_•)
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(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: question - 11/18/2011 6:27:02 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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Since I was born monogamous there would never be a Master outside of the marriage.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/18/2011 7:01:15 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
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The primary relationship (husband/wife) is the core which will always be maintained. Hopefully the M/s relationship outside of that can be worked around that.

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/21/2011 1:15:13 AM

mstmast

Posts: 20
Joined: 7/26/2011
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then i can say all of you consistent to be the marriage come first

(in reply to coookie)

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RE: question - 11/21/2011 1:31:17 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstmast

hello all
i have question for slaves and sub
If you are a married man or woman slave.
who will respect more your husband or wife / master or mistress

I don't quantify my respect for someone. They either have it or they don't.

I put things this way; I woud wear the collar of someone I wouldn't marry but I would never marry someone whose collar I wouldn't wear.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/21/2011 4:24:23 AM

stellauk

Posts: 1360
Status: offline

I respect myself first and foremost and part of this is a commitment I keep to upholding my own hierarchy of moral values. This commitment is something I reflect in my thinking, behaviour and interactions with others as much as possible and endeavour to afford them the same degree of respect and commitment.

I don't respect other people on the basis of their importance or the role they play in my life, I respect them because they are human beings.

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Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/21/2011 6:50:45 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstmast
i have question for slaves and sub
If you are a married man or woman slave.
who will respect more your husband or wife / master or mistress

The reality is that if you are married, your wife is the "Domme". Any lifestyle or pro-Domme who has dealt with a married sub quickly comes to realize this.

Initially, the Domme may THINK she is in charge. But in reality, the married sub can usually only meet when he can sneak away from his wife. He can only talk on the phone when his wife is not around. He can only obey commands that won't be obvious to his wife. The Domme can't leave any marks on him that will be visible to his wife. In other words, the wife is in charge. Everything revolves around HER. Therefore, SHE is the TRUE Domme, since she's clearly the one in charge. The other Domme is just role playing.

There are some exceptions to this rule. There are married subs whose spouses know about, and agree to allow, an outside Domme. But these cases are usually the exception. Most married subs are sneaking around behind their wife's back.

I don't know what country you're in, but in America, if you piss off your wife too much by seeing another woman (a Domme), your wife can divorce you and take half of your money and other assets. The fear of that usually trumps any power that a Domme holds.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 11/21/2011 6:53:58 AM >

(in reply to mstmast)

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RE: question - 11/22/2011 10:07:10 PM

Asherscorp1

Posts: 143
Joined: 3/6/2011
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I couldn't have a marriage and a completely seperate D/s relationship. My husband is my Master. If someone else ever came into our lives as my Dom too I don't think I could possibly have the same respect for them as for my husband who embodies two integral roles in my life. And honestly I don't ever see that happening as I have no desire to be a submissive for multiple people and M has no desire to share my submission with others.

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"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

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RE: question - 11/23/2011 5:42:32 AM

atursvcMaam

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I can't answer for your situation, but the best solution for you would be to get both women into a neutral setting, like a coffee shop or restaurant, and ask them. They will almost definitely give you an answer, but i can not promise you will like it.

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(in reply to Asherscorp1)

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Post #: 20