are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass?

are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (Full Version)

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joker6067 -> are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 1:30:41 AM)
persea its a first time.....is "popping their cherry" an extra incentive that adds more fun to the equation... or is it more of a great.....this person knows nothing and all the "work" is up to me... I have Neither Dommed nor Subbed but am interested in both.... so to those of you that have "been the first" was it a giant pain in the ass....or did you like being the first?

MissImmortalPain -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 3:58:30 AM)
I don't really think it matters if it is a persons first time or not. As long as they don't let their perceptions of bdsm, as formed by porn literature or fantasy, lead them to assume that is how things actually happen.

Fornica -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 5:43:15 AM)
What she said. It all depends on how much they have already decided in their heads..lol. Everyone has preconceived ideas, of course, and figuring out what works for your dynamic is fun and exciting..but it can be a PITA, yes.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 8:35:37 AM)
I've been the "first" for more than a few people. It's a big deal to me because I want them to start off enjoying, AND knowing it's okay to say if they're not enjoying. It can be hard to get over preconceived notions that they should be stoic, or that it's bad to say no, or some such. I had fun every time. Newbs that are actually interested in INTERACTION? Bring em on!

Tantriqu -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 11:46:48 AM)
What the other ladies have said. I enjoy all sorts of sub men, experienced or not. I've introduced a few men to the pleasures of their ass, and gently but firmly popped some cherries. What's most important is that they're interested in exploring pleasure, and are not topping from the bottom. Recently, a failed prospective sub told me to wreck his virgin ass with a massive dong and tear him a new one, even after I'd clearly explained that's not my style. So, he can shit blood on someone else's 600-count sheets and scream in the toilet at work when he tries to pass a deuce; not my fantasy OR reality. I'm all about ass pleasure, not pain, and coming in both grateful nervous newbies and talented experienced subs' asses is delectable.

Lockit -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 1:15:01 PM)
Actually, I thought it was us domina's that were supposed to be the pain in the ass. [8\|] Men are men and it doesn't matter whether the ass cherry has been popped or not. If they can walk upright, speak without a forked tongue, are pleasant to be around, show some sign of intelligence and humor... they stand a chance with me. [;)]

Politesub53 -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 5:55:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Actually, I thought it was us domina's that were supposed to be the pain in the ass. [8\|] Men are men and it doesn't matter whether the ass cherry has been popped or not. If they can walk upright, speak without a forked tongue, are pleasant to be around, show some sign of intelligence and humor... they stand a chance with me. [;)] Im stuck on the idea of why a Domme wouldnt like a forked tongue ? [8D]

Lockit -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 5:57:47 PM)
ROFL!

Politesub53 -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 5:59:44 PM)
I love a happy smile Lockit. [;)]

LookieNoNookie -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 6:07:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joker6067 persea its a first time.....is "popping their cherry" an extra incentive that adds more fun to the equation... or is it more of a great.....this person knows nothing and all the "work" is up to me... I have Neither Dommed nor Subbed but am interested in both.... so to those of you that have "been the first" was it a giant pain in the ass....or did you like being the first? What does "persea" mean? (I've just read your post 3 times and frankly....my head's exploding).

littlewonder -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 6:16:16 PM)
to be honest I don't really remember a "first time" unless you're talking about sex and I was young and that was looong ago. Bdsmwise though...I mean what does that mean? First time someone tied you up? First time someone told you what to do? First time someone pulled your hair? I guess I don't know because it's just always been that way for me ever since I first became interested in boys. I've never known anything else.

DesFIP -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 6:54:00 PM)
I think he meant per se. It isn't the experience, it's the chemistry between you. If you only want to get your fetishes and fantasies to come to life, then it's going to be bad for the other person. Whether you have ten years of experience or none.

AcademyForSlaves -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 9:36:06 PM)
Hello, I do not mind novices (inexperienced new slaves) because I can mold and train them to be the best slave for Me and to serve Me the way I like. I have owned wonderful experienced slaves but I have also met some who are so set in their ways and had become selfish about being dominated in the way they like. "Do me this way, do it that way. I like this, I want that." Selfish demanding subs are quite a turn off. I welcome new inexperienced slaves who seek guidance from Me. Hope this helps.

Lockit -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 9:41:21 PM)
Yes... pick her... or them... they are the most perfect domina's in the whole wide world! lol

joker6067 -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/18/2011 9:58:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I think he meant per se. It isn't the experience, it's the chemistry between you. If you only want to get your fetishes and fantasies to come to life, then it's going to be bad for the other person. Whether you have ten years of experience or none. yeah "persea" was a bad typo thank you all for your input :)

Fornica -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/19/2011 5:32:34 AM)
Uh..yeah. Go pro! <facepalm> quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Yes... pick her... or them... they are the most perfect domina's in the whole wide world! lol

Kana -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/20/2011 5:39:17 AM)
Nothing wrong with a novice. Sometimes it can be easier working with a tabula rosa than one with scads of experience, there's so much less to untrain. Like so much else in BDSM, things have a whole lot less to do with ones experience level than ones attitude, willingness and mental approach

poise -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/20/2011 8:53:10 AM)
I imagine any new relationship starts with both partners being inexperienced. It isn't the quantity of all those deliciously deviant acts, but the person you are experiencing them with that would make it special for me...or a pain in the ass.

Succi -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/20/2011 7:22:59 PM)
Since I'm pretty non-trad as far as the "community" goes, I've taken to almost exclusively chasing virginal subs. They actually throw out fewer "oh, that's weird" comments xD Any subs I meet through other fetishists or sites like this have all their preconceptions about what a Domme "should" be, and I don't meet them. Most of them. I also have a bit of a teacher-student dynamic to my relationships lining the whole bubble so that just works better in that case too.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: are inexperienced subs a pain in the ass? (11/20/2011 7:32:57 PM)
I don't think it matters whether the sub is a total newbie or not, what matters more is the chemistry between the two people. I've played with total noobs and it was all cool and then I've talked with "previously extensively trained" subs, and it seemed like there was a lot of untraining that would need to be done with the experienced ones, to get rid of what the previous Domme trained into him, where the total noob was a blank slate that I could train the way I wanted to with comparative ease. NBMG

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