Thinking about Topping for the first time?

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Thinking about Topping for the first time? - 5/27/2006 7:49:34 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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We're on another thread discussing subs who are considering Topping just to see how it feels... the discussion turned towards how to gather a few supplies that are fairly inexpensive and don't require a lot of skill to use... Since we do not wish to hijack the thread, I've decided to start a new one where anyone can post ideas and instructions about everyday items that san be used safely by someone just startin' out...

The following is a repost from the other thread:
Speaking from experience, it helps to prepare yourself before you've even selected the person you want to explore with... I'll share a few little tricks that might help...
When having a service done, from a manicure to having gas pumped at a full service station, take a deep breath beforehand and let a feeling of Dominance wash over you inside. I'm not suggesting that you get all bitchy and demanding, I'm suggesting that you get comfortable with feeling entitled to being pampered. Take on an "I use L'oreal, because I'm worth it" attitude. It's funny, even in the vanilla world, you'll see people do a double take and then break their necks to please you... Confidence and entitlement can be very sexy if the person is also gracious to those who serve her...

You might also think of ways you'd love to be pampered, as "foreplay" before a scene... select clothing ahead of time and lay it out. Have the sub run your bath and then bathe you. When this happens just relax and FEEL it. Having your body lathered, and your hair shampooed is the most luxurious feeling! When the time comes, step out and let the sub dry you off and comb your hair... Then allow them to help dress you. As they do these things, they are focusing on you and your body more and more - wondering what type of scene you will do, and hoping they will perform to your satisfaction.

Be hard to please... for example, have two different scents of bath oil handy... as they choose one, shake your head and frown petulantly. If you step out onto the bathmat and they don't grab a towel and begin to buff your body dry, tap your foot and stand there expectantly... Have fun making them jump through hoops. It can be a fun way to get them eager to please you, while building an aura of mystery about yourself that adds to your fun and theirs.

Have a number of different activities that you are comfortable doing. The following are some activities that don't require lots of time to gain skill at without endangering your "victim". Also they don't require serious investment in case you decide Domming is just not for you. (some safety tips follow also):

* Clothespins - wooden clothespins are great to have on hand for any scene. They're inexpensive, and very effective for many uses. You might want to soak them for a couple of hours prior to the scene to avoid them leaving splinters or chafing the skin. They also work great when you put a few in the freezer after they've soaked.

* Saran wrap - If you are new to domination, avoid full body wraps, but you can use saran wrap as bondage material around upper or lower legs, or around the torso with the arms down at their sides. This stuff is awesome especially if you order them to struggle loose. I love the "you have 30 seconds to get out of that - starting NOW!" and then "punishing" them when they can't get loose.

*Wax Spas - For roughly $30 at Wal-mart you can purchase a parraffin spa that does not allow the wax to get too hot to the touch. It was designed to allow you to dip your hands or feet into the vat without fear of burning. Practice on yourself beforehand by taking paintbrushes, spoons, even small dixie cups, and testing how warm the wax feels on different parts of your body. If you wish to use wax in genital areas, you can avoid cross-contamination by simply placing saran wrap over the personal areas and then drizzling the wax. If wax does come in contact with body fluids of any kind, simply discard that piece when you peel it. NOTE: A $1.99 clear shower curtain at Wal-mart is a great drop cloth.

*Alcohol - Applying this with a cotton ball makes a cooling, almost freezing sensation, with very little danger. Don't have a lit candle close-by. NOTE: DO NOT USE CANNED AIR - This is very dangerous since canned air has propellant that will possibly spray out in liquid form and freeze anything it comes into contact with... I know of someone who accidentally got some on his nipple and it turned black like frostbite. The doctor said he could have needed a skin graft.

*Rope flogger - I purchase the beautifully shiny thick black nylon rope at Home Depot (about six feet of it), bend it in half, and leaving the two ends free, wrap about six to eight inches of the bended end in black electrical tape (creating a handle). I then unbraid the two ends and fluff them. Trim your new flogger to the length you're comfy with and you have a sensual toy that can be used on more sensitive areas, or as a warm up for more "serious" floggers.

I gotta MILLION ideas for everyday (cheap) items that I keep on hand (sometimes I'll pull something totally outrageous out of my toy bag and smile a wicked smile, just before I put on the blindfold) Some are scene setters, others are actually very effective tools and toys. I'd be happy to share more offlist if you wish...

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RE: Thinking about Topping for the first time? - 5/27/2006 7:50:37 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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Oh my goodness... I have tons of interesting things that can be done safely with almost no investment of time or money... One of the funniest experiences when I play with someone new is to have them "unpack my bag" to set up for a scene...

* In the fabric section of Walmart buy a "tracing wheel" It's a handle with a little spiky wheel on it. Rolling that over skin is sooo delicious.

* Buy a roll of twine or leather lacing and a bag of wooden beads. Cut into 3' lengths. Loop one end and tie a knot so that a "handle" is formed. String one bead, then one clothespin, then one bead, then one clothespin and so on until you have maybe 20 clothespins. Finish with a last bead and then tie a large knot to secure it. This is called a "zipper". Soak them before each and every scene (add a small amount of bleach or alcohol if you use them on different victims. If you have several of these, you can attach one in each region of the body and then slowly or quickly RRRRRIP them off....

* Thrift stores often sell old belts for 25 to 50 cents. They don't have to match or even be pretty. Leather belts can be cut down and used as cuffs. They also make GREAT bondage devices.

*Feathers - Need I even explain this delightful toy??? ~grins~

*Blunt knife - Useful to help peel wax, or trail over someone's skin. THEY don't have to know it's blunt do they?

* Crisco - Awesome and safe lubricant for anything anal. It's vegetable oil, so it dissolves and dosen't promote bacterial or fungal infections. It also dosen't dry out just as the motions are getting good.

* Plastic mixing spoons - OMG some love them, some hate them, but they all get quiet when I pull them out.

*Rabbit Pelt - Great for sensory play. Very soft and seductive.

*Shower scrunchie - rough and used for similar, but opposite sensation as rabbit pelt.

*Use the same technique as the "zipper" above minus the clothespins for inexpensive anal beads.

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RE: Thinking about Topping for the first time? - 5/27/2006 9:19:27 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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At target I bought these cool things that go on the end of my arms. They each have fine flexible extentions that have sharp edges on them and can double as nipple and labia clamps. In addition, the can become quite rigid and when swung with my arms provide a fairly stingy impact. They can also be adjusted to provide anything from soft sensual sensation to a terrifying strangulation feeling when clamped to someones neck. Every time I use them I find even more neat things to do with them.

I really think everyone ought to have a pair.

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RE: Thinking about Topping for the first time? - 5/27/2006 9:56:09 PM

OhBeMyMind

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
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Do these 'cool things' have a name....or perhaps a general idea of the department they can be found in Target?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

At target I bought these cool things that go on the end of my arms. They each have fine flexible extentions that have sharp edges on them and can double as nipple and labia clamps. In addition, the can become quite rigid and when swung with my arms provide a fairly stingy impact. They can also be adjusted to provide anything from soft sensual sensation to a terrifying strangulation feeling when clamped to someones neck. Every time I use them I find even more neat things to do with them.

I really think everyone ought to have a pair.

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RE: Thinking about Topping for the first time? - 5/27/2006 10:00:46 PM

TNstepsout

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Joined: 8/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

At target I bought these cool things that go on the end of my arms. They each have fine flexible extentions that have sharp edges on them and can double as nipple and labia clamps. In addition, the can become quite rigid and when swung with my arms provide a fairly stingy impact. They can also be adjusted to provide anything from soft sensual sensation to a terrifying strangulation feeling when clamped to someones neck. Every time I use them I find even more neat things to do with them.

I really think everyone ought to have a pair.

Goofball. What did you pick your nose with before you shopped at Target?

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RE: Thinking about Topping for the first time? - 5/28/2006 2:23:03 AM

becca333

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Joined: 4/11/2006
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Thanks - there's some great ideas here that I'm SO tempted to try!

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