What is so wrong with age play? (Full Version)

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DaddiesLilGirl06 -> What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:36:33 AM)

I am in a loving relationship that involves age play. I absolutely love it. What is so wrong with it that people get so disgusted with it? I have needed this for a long time but did not know it until about a year and a half ago. Now I have it and get bashed sometimes because people think it is sick. I am 29 years old. My Dom is older than I am and of no relation to me. I love him for everything he is. He is everything I need in a man. To my family they know who I am and what I do. My mother came up for a visit and knows how I am with my Dom. The relationship as well as me calling him Daddy. And why I do. She loves the hell out of my Dom. She even started to call him Daddy after about four days of being here with us for vacation. She even told me that he is the best man I have ever been with. She now knows the importance of my lifestyle with him is to me. One reason is that I never had a proper father figure in my life. My real father died when I was a year and a half old. Any man my mother was with from then on were always idiots. My stepfather was a very abusive man. Now you see the importance. I need that loving role as a little girl. And him being the role as Daddy. He guides me and loves me and helps me out where I need the help. Thats what Daddies are for. To be there for his lil girl. Most women I have talked to that do get into this type of role play say the same thing. They need that fatherly figure in their lives because they never had it before or they didnt have enough of it when they were growing up. Its not sick. Its love, caring, nuturing, and tender. Not harsh like some of the many more aspects of the BDSM lifestyle is. Yes I get punished for my wrong doings. But I try to please my Daddy in a way that makes him smile and feel proud of me. It hurts to make Daddy mad. Because of the fact I dont like the hard hand that hits my bottom. I prefer the loving hand that helps me explore my world. In time I will grow out of this. But for now this is what I need. In time I will be able to learn the more rough aspects of the lifestyle and learn to enjoy them more fully. But for now I need to grow up in my mind to become that productive woman that is a great submissive. [;)]



darq -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:42:07 AM)

Some people just think its icky ...

Its like, I think scat and rainbow play is icky ...



darkinshadows -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:42:06 AM)

What's wrong with ageplay?... Absolutely nothing!
 
What an excellent first post!  So positive and wonderful.
Thanks for posting on such a little understood relationship.
Your Daddy will be so proud!
 
Peace and Rapture



Morpheus07 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:46:05 AM)

IMHO, there is nothing at all wrong with it, if it is consensual play between two legal adults. Alot of people put their own spin on it in their heads when you tell them. I think they imagine that your Dom truly wants to be with children and is only biding his time with you until he can find one. For me that was never the case, but I have heard horror stories from submissives regarding so-called Daddies who wanted to live across from elementary schools and fuck the sub in the window as the kids got out....sick stuff, anyone such as that should be shot on sight... IMHO.

PS; I used to be my wifes Daddy, and it was wonderful.



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:47:20 AM)

Darq, I agree with you on the scat thing. But being an adult and My Dom is of no relation I guess its hard to understand the ickyness.

Darkinshadows, Thank you for the wonderful compliment. It touched me very much. Yes my Dom has read it and he is very proud of my curiosity. And openess about it. Thanks a bunch.

Dani



sublizzie -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:52:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddiesLilGirl06

Darq, I agree with you on the scat thing. But being an adult and My Dom is of no relation I guess its hard to understand the ickyness.

Darkinshadows, Thank you for the wonderful compliment. It touched me very much. Yes my Dom has read it and he is very proud of my curiosity. And openess about it. Thanks a bunch.

Dani


I cannot do age play without going into a very bad place psychologically. It comes from being sexually molested from as early as I can remember by my step-grandfather. He mis-used my trust and childish affection to satisfy his own sexual desires. It took years of therapy to get over those experiences.

If other people choose to do age play, that's fine for them. I prefer not to be around such play because of my issues, but they are *my* issues, not other people's.

Does that answer your question? There can be very legitmate reasons for not liking it.



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 9:57:44 AM)

Yes that is a great answer to why you would not like it. But you dont seem to be a peron who bashes another who does get into it. And yes I understand exactly where you come from on that topic. It wasnt a father or step father for me it was other family friends who did that to me. But like you said those are *our* issues we have to deal with. I just dont understand why others have to bash it if nothing is going on other than consensual play. thank you for your response sublizzie. I really appreciate it. It helps me to understand a bit more. And I hope that you have a great day hun.



ADomDoc -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:00:25 AM)

There's age"play" (where one pretends to play someone older .. a lot of spankos get into this) and then there are relationships with an age differential (no 'play' is needed ...an actual age disparity exists).  There's nothing 'wrong' with either ... it's your preference & it's great you've found a compatible partner.

Often, the biggest problem in age disparate relationships is not having a common history -- they have no common references in conversation.  The Nairobi Trio means nothing to you ... but it would to a sub of my age.  I remember life before plastic (even hard for ME to imagine now), the first space launch, watching A-bombs go off, life before computers, life before cell phones.  That's not a problem ... but a sub of your age hasn't the same frame of reference.  Heck ... music has changed so many times ... you don't remember "Ask any vegetable" :-) 

In such a differential, it'll work best if the younger person wants to learn from the elder, and the elder enjoys opening up new worlds to the younger.   Regardless of what others think ... if you 2 are a good match, then keep working at the relationship & keep it going.  While a young girl might not have difficulty finding an old fart, she might have a hard time finding one as good as the one you've found.

As to the 'cause' of your preference ... seems you've nailed it ... both a lack of a father while growing up as well as being molested by an older man.  And, for all the bad of that, it can sometimes 'fixate' a sub into seeking exactly what was previously a problem.  But, OTOH, if you've found a compatible 'daddy', then it gives you an opportunity to work out that old trauma.  This can be a cathartic experience for you.  And it can be the good side of the coin.

There are a small % of subs who start out w/ Doms of their own age ... but eventually come to learn they want someone older.  Generally (those that I've known) have also been abused by their fathers as kids.  And while I disapprove of what was done to them, I can't complain about being the benefactor (many years later) of that sad experience ... and I always endeavor to facilitate an enlightening & cathartic experience for them.

Congratulations in finding a relationship that is good for you,

ADomDoc
SanAntonio



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:04:39 AM)

Morpheus, Yes some people are sick like that. I have two children myself and would never let someone hurt them like that. Believe me I would actually become a truely sadistic bitch when it came to someone hurting my children like that. No this type of play is never done around them. I only call him Daddy around them. Thats all. And it is a 24/7 lifestyle for me. Its not just for the play its for the guidance I needed so much in mu life that I never had. And that is more important to me than the play. And Daddy knows that. Thank you for your reply.

Dani



MochaMistress -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:06:17 AM)

I dont find that anything is wrong with it. We all have our kinks and they dont all match up. My thoughts are that its not for everyone. Its not my thing, I dont knock the person who does enjoy it. The key is consenting adults. I would never force the BDSM lifestyle or my kinks on anyone else.



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:09:58 AM)

DomDoc, Thank you for a more clarifying reason. Yes I remember all that stuff. teehee. But you are right. with the type of age play I do he is older than i am. And a very loving man. It means the world to me finding such a wonderful creature as he. I have learned alot in the past year. And want to continue growing. It is taking time and there are still a few things that I am stubborn on but am learning. I do want to grow into a great subbie. I do not want to stay a little girl forever. But this is what I need before I can move on.



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:11:17 AM)

true so true MochaMistress....by the way love your nic.



feastie -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:18:58 AM)

There's nothing wrong with it if it's what you enjoy and feel you need.  The only exception I find with it is when much older men prey upon very young girls to fulfill that dynamic. I am not referring to young women, I do mean girls, as in teens. 

For me, it is not an interest as I have a wonderful father and a very close relationship with him.  I grew up as a Daddy's girl in the truest sense of the phrase.  He didn't have sons, so my sisters and I worked on cars with him, built things with him, were taught to shake hands like men (which still surprises men I meet to this day...lol.). I love my Daddy and still call him Daddy or, if the children are present, I'll call him PawPaw because that is who he is to them.

Since I have such a great father and a great relationship with him, age play doesn't do a thing for me except weird me out.  But that's me.  I had a friend who adored it. 

Honey, if it blows your skirt up, then ignore what anyone else thinks about it.



DrkAngl -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:20:04 AM)

When I used to hear the word "Daddy Dom" I would think of a pedifiler. I am guessing most people area thinking something simular and wondering if someone playing daddy to a submissive would also be taking someone dressed as a little girl to bed. They are probably thinking that. I'm sure there are some really sick Dom's out there that do bide there time though. Which makes things bad for the ones that aren't pedifilers.

But what you've posted sounds very different from what most people think.  And it sounds exactly what you need. That's important and since you had no father about, it makes a lot of sense. :) Don't worry about what others think, enjoy what you have, that's what counts. :)

And the fact that your mother understands and even likes your Dom is a huge plus too. If my mother ever found out I am bit "different" than her little spectrum of the world, she'd be freaking out for sure. 



MissBabydoll -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:21:12 AM)

No-one's mentioned fem Dom age play. I do quite a bit of it, both online and in person. Interestingly enough, age differential at both ends seems to heighten D/s energy in a lot of cases. Some older subs love being humiliated by a sexy teen Princess type, while other males of all ages love Sexy Bossy Big Sis or Stepmom--or (gasp!) Mommy. Sexy Mommy is particularly hot for feminization/sissy play. This being fantasy play, I have no problem whatever assuming either role. I'm petite and look younger than I am, so the Mean Teasing Princess role comes easy to Me--and also fulfills a need, since I was so *not* one of those girls in high school but enjoy being one now. That was more or less My main persona for a while--hence My nom de Domme--but we all get older (sigh...)

I am also just naturally maternal in My style of domination, so I also do well with playing Big Sis/Mommy even with (as is usually the case) boys who are older than I am! I like cooing "suggestions" and teasing queries, not barking orders--and I find that very humiliating things said in a warm motherly tone are particularly devastating.

Of course, like any decent person I loathe child abuse and would never encourage anyone to engage in any form of erotic play with any nonconsensual partner, expecially a child. But desire likes transgression, and fantasy allows it.

Hope this contributes,

Miss Babydoll



juliaoceania -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:25:54 AM)

 I am seeing a Daddy right now, and we havent age played. He has no interest in role playing anything prepubescent with me as far as I know, and I think it would have come up for us if he did. It is a dynamic, not a role play for us.Instead of Lord, Master, or Sir, he prefers Daddy. I think it feels more intimate than the other titles (I have used those with a previous lover).


I started getting emails from age players complete with pics wanting to share stories with me bacause of my profile.  I think it is a huge assumption that someone is into that because they have a Daddy Dom... So while I have no problem with age play, I just wanted to make the point that Daddy/girl relationships do not necessarily equate age play. For some it feels more intimate than the other ways of address may feel (I am not saying that Lord, Master, Sir ARE less intimate, I am just saying for me calling Him Daddy feels that way).



Morpheus07 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:33:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

 I am seeing a Daddy right now, and we havent age played. He has no interest in role playing anything prepubescent with me as far as I know, and I think it would have come up for us if he did. It is a dynamic, not a role play for us.Instead of Lord, Master, or Sir, he prefers Daddy. I think it feels more intimate than the other titles (I have used those with a previous lover).


I started getting emails from age players complete with pics wanting to share stories with me bacause of my profile.  I think it is a huge assumption that someone is into that because they have a Daddy Dom... So while I have no problem with age play, I just wanted to make the point that Daddy/girl relationships do not necessarily equate age play. For some it feels more intimate than the other ways of address may feel (I am not saying that Lord, Master, Sir ARE less intimate, I am just saying for me calling Him Daddy feels that way).



I agree completely with your assessment, the dynamic you outline is very similar to the one I had with my wife, and assumed most Daddy/babygirls had....until I lost her to cancer 3 years ago and came online last year to find a new love...needless to say I was a bit dismayed and somewhat shocked to learn of what most consider to be Daddy/babygirl.

I know now that I enjoy the intimacy of being called Daddy, but I very much need and want a fully realized woman, not a little girl, so I no longer call myself a Daddy online. To each their own.



sensualshell -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:47:19 AM)

On the other side of the coin . . . i find that most Daddys that contact me on here do want the age play thing.  i have a problem with playing too young myself as pedophilia freaks me out.  i just want to be allowed to be the girl i am. (post puberty - mid teens).  shell



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 10:54:27 AM)

feastie and drkangel, thank you so much. Yes i know there are those out there that are sick pervs. I am the one who wanted this more than my Dom. My Dom was just looking for a subbie at the time we met. Then after talking to him for about four months I realized what I needed then asked him about it. He thought at first a bit skeptical. Then he was like I have done that before maybe it is what we both need. Then after a while we got together and tried to be in the role and it worked out great. Now we are happily living together. My children love him. They are happy that they have a stable living enviroment after me moving around so much looking for work. My Dom helped me find a job. Now I am working and living happy. And he is much happier too.



DaddiesLilGirl06 -> RE: What is so wrong with age play? (5/27/2006 11:04:42 AM)

Shell, Exactly right. Definitely post puberty. I dont get into playing like a lil itty bitty thing. I cant. Most of my life growing up was me being the adult in the family. I had to take care of my brothers and make sure everyone was safe. Lets just say drugs and alcohol dont mix well with families. I had to assume the role of mom in my real family for some time. I never had that chance to be the teen girl I wanted so much to be. Yes I act my age most of the time. But also to what morpheus and julia said calling your Dom Daddy is a bit more intimate. Sometimes I can be that bratty teen that just wants. OR I could just be a Daddies girl. And that is ageless. I have seen that one all the time. For women who still are Daddies lil girls even though they are 50 years old. So its more based for me on the guidance and love that I need. So I can grow up in my mind. That is my problem is I want to grow up in my mind to fit well with the adult body I have. Thank you everyone for the understandings you all have given to me. I really do appreciate it all. Dani



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